Wanderlust2018 Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 I had a woman message me through an OLD app, and then, within the same day or so, send me a message via social media asking if I was the same individual on the OLD site. I get that with partial names and and what not on profiles, it may not be difficult for people to snoop around...but let me just say, I find it pretty creepy and inappropriate... I don’t know this person at all, nor am I connected to this individual via social media so they had to have dug a bit. I’ve not replied to either message, nor do I intend to! 1
Blind-Sided Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 (edited) We live in a digital world... and there is a lot of info out there. Personally, I don't find it offensive or strange at all. If that person sent you a message on the app, and was interested... then sitting with her phone... she may have just looked around to see what kind of person you are. SO... if what she did offends you... then you should get off of OLD. OK... I'm not on any OLD sites, and I have a few friends looking to set me up with people. When I'm sitting at home... I've looked around the normal FB and internet searches. It really helps to know what you are getting into. I'm in my late 40's... and I don't think using publicly available info is a problem, and is just part of the game these days. (you may be throwing out someone good) My 2 cents... take it for what it's worth. Edited November 10, 2019 by Blind-Sided
preraph Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 Of course people are going to Google and find out more if there's a way to do that. Most won't tell you that though. Snooping means more potential interest. It also means they want to see if they can be sure you're not married or otherwise taken already since so many on OLD are.
Author Wanderlust2018 Posted November 10, 2019 Author Posted November 10, 2019 We live in a digital world... and there is a lot of info out there. Personally, I don't find it offensive or strange at all. If that person sent you a message on the app, and was interested... then sitting with her phone... she may have just looked around to see what kind of person you are. SO... if what she did offends you... then you should get off of OLD. OK... I'm not on any OLD sites, and I have a few friends looking to set me up with people. When I'm sitting at home... I've looked around the normal FB and internet searches. It really helps to know what you are getting into. I'm in my late 40's... and I don't think using publicly available info is a problem, and is just part of the game these days. (you may be throwing out someone good) My 2 cents... take it for what it's worth. I get that we live in a digital age and that there’s information out there, but I think your suggestion of getting off OLD entirely is a bit extreme. For one, I’d never let some anonymous person hold that kind of power or influence over me. As a male, if the roles were reversed, and I did this to a random woman, I’m pretty sure that in most if not all cases, she’d run for the hills! Im in my late 40’s as well and have been on and off OLD for some years now, and I’ve never experienced this...not once. I’m not offended by it, but I do still think it’s a bit much and creepy, regardless of what age we live in or gender we are. 1
Versacehottie Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 I agree that it's creepy. The point is that people can and do do it. To message you on the social media is lame and clingy. She should have just done her snooping and STFU---like others do all the time. Also the fact that you didn't communicate with her on OLD, she really looks like a stalker to send a message or post on your social media. While a lot of girls do this (and guys I suppose), I think to mention it and reach out to you on the social media, lets you know what sort of person you'd be dealing with if you decided to date her: someone who just barrels their way into things, can't take a hint, lack of social norms, among other things IMO. I think you are doing the right thing by staying far away. Good luck 1
greymatter Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 When I met my current partner, we didn't exchange last names until after our 1st or 2nd date (I can't remember which it was), at which point we mutually googled each other. It sounds funny I'm sure but I think it's nice that we did it with mutual knowledge/consent even though the information is out there for the taking.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 Keep your OLD user name totally different than any other social media names, and use different pics, and this will not happen.
smackie9 Posted November 10, 2019 Posted November 10, 2019 Put your social media on private, friends only, don't use a photo of yourself and you won't have an issue.
kendahke Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 Thank you for posting this because so many people think it's a good idea to take this approach. I'm like you--it's freakin' creepy.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 If it feels creepy, it is creepy. I agree with your judgment 100%.
Michelle ma Belle Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 (edited) Sorry, but this IS creepy particularly if he didn't respond favorably to her first message on OLD. Talk about looking thirsty. As already stated, this is a digital world we live in anymore and that means there is very little privacy unless you make an effort to remain private. That includes using different handles for your social media, not linking your email and/or phone number to your social media accounts and keeping all your social media set to private. If you don't want to do that then so be it. You've been warned. I don't have an issue with anyone Googling but I think doing your online 'research' and then knocking on their door before there is a hint of interest reciprocated looks and feels uncomfortable not to mention whiffs of desperation. Like chill the F down! Edited November 11, 2019 by Michelle ma Belle
chillii Posted November 11, 2019 Posted November 11, 2019 (edited) Yeah , l agree ,creepy as hell she obviously had to go digging for you can't believe people do that crap these days. l mean it's one thing to stumble across someone or try looking them up as in the old days of phone books because you want to contact them, but another to go snoopin on someone behind their back you've just met or your going on a date with or something. l'm not on any of it neither was my women but if we wanted to know something back when we asked not go snooping behind backs. Still , imo if people are silly enough to expose themselves their lives and friends all over the internet they ask for it in a way because people will be people especially women you can bet on that. Edited November 11, 2019 by chillii
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