Blown off??? Surprised.

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

 

She’s given you all the warning you need now, bin her off. Please don’t be on here starting a thread in a month’s time complaining about how this girl is stringing you along!

 

Agree.

 

She sounds to me like someone who doesn't know exactly what she wants.

[Mac0908]

Thanks guys

[Highndry]

This is simply a woman with lukewarm interest. She's got other guys pursuing her and she's up for seeing you if the stars align, but you're no priority whatsoever. If she thought you were a "catch," you can bet your azz she'd be waiting with baited breath for your every contact.

 

Whether or not you even need to respond to her last text is up for debate. Ghosting her at this point isn't really that bad. You guys don't have anything. If you don't want to do it you could be honest and just say "I've had a change of heart and am going to move on. Best of luck." or something.

[OatsAndHall]

 

At this point while I'm curious what everyone thinks, I personally have never seen this kind of bizarre behavior from a woman before. I'm not only turned off, but I truly have no more interest in seeing her again. Whatever her game is, attention seeking, validation seeking, or whether I'm just low priority and she's communicating with me however she wants whenever she wants, I want no part of it. Good luck to her.

 

 

IMO, you've been Rolodexed from the get-go which isn't all that uncommon when dating via OLD. I would imagine that she didn't respond to your text regarding another date as she was either waiting on other prospects or she's just not going to put much effort into penciling you in. If you continue to engage with her, you'll either get more of this behavior or she'll simply ghost you.

 

 

 

I would cut contact with her as you're just going to waste your time. She has shown that she's willing to keep you as a Plan B which will just result in you getting dragged along. There could be a number of reasons why you're a "Plan B" but it certainly isn't a place you want to be in.

 

 

 

For future reference, here is how I've handled these situations when dating (I've run into a few..)

 

 

1. If the first date is going well, I ask them on a second one, face to face. You'd be amazed how well you can gauge a woman's interest in this manner. Generally speaking, their response falls into two categories: "Sure!" or "I'll have to look at my schedule..." If it's the latter, then chances are they aren't interested and I leave it be.

 

 

 

The ball is in their court; I've suggested a second date and they can communicate with me and get the ball rolling (or not). And, I've suggested it early enough so that they can accommodate within their schedule if they're actually interested. But, I won't wait around; I will give them a day or two to commit to SOMETHING ("Yeah, I'd like to meet up again next weekend, let's sort out the details this week."). If I don't hear back, I make other plans and basically write them off. I'm not angry; I'm just practical and I'm not going to wait around for them. I've had several women get upset with me because they got back to me late and I planned another date. My response is simple: "Well, I asked you out again last Saturday and now it's Wednesday so I didn't figure you were interested."

 

 

 

2. If communication is hot and cold, I might stay in touch but I'm not going to hold my breath. Especially post first-date... There's a good chance they really aren't that into me if they bombarded me with texts before we actually met and now I'm not hearing from them. I'll remain cautiously optimistic if they've agreed to a second date but their communication style has swung on me. If that's the case, I will try to establish set plans for the date early in the week and see how it goes. If they're flaky about establishing those plans, then I just move on.

[LI7788]

You may not have done anything “wrong” per say on that date, but you didn’t do everything “right” for her, I think is the best way to put it and is what RJC was trying to say (I think). Based on what’s transpired after the first date, as another poster above wrote, this is a woman with lukewarm to very little interest. You didn’t turn her off bad enough to where she chose to completely bail, but it was enough to where you’re just being used for attention as she texts whenever she feels like and by looking at what you explained, however she feels like. This behavior is just as bad as being blown off IMO bc like you said you feel like she’s toying and having fun with you, which she basically is.

 

At this point you need to cut ties immediately if you already haven’t. Unfortunately you turned her OFF as RJC said. The ONLY chance you’ll have of getting any other chance is by playing it cool and certainly never texting her again. Then should she ever reach back out you don’t jump at her again asking to hang out, etc, acting like it’s the second coming. You give her miniscule answers hours later until she’s asks/hints at getting together. Then you politely say sure that sounds great and set the date. No more talk after that. All this aside the simple fact that she’s already faded after one date shows that she’s 98% chance not the girl for you. As you said good luck to her, and onto your next.

[Mac0908]

IMO, you've been Rolodexed from the get-go which isn't all that uncommon when dating via OLD. I would imagine that she didn't respond to your text regarding another date as she was either waiting on other prospects or she's just not going to put much effort into penciling you in. If you continue to engage with her, you'll either get more of this behavior or she'll simply ghost you.

 

 

 

I would cut contact with her as you're just going to waste your time. She has shown that she's willing to keep you as a Plan B which will just result in you getting dragged along. There could be a number of reasons why you're a "Plan B" but it certainly isn't a place you want to be in.

 

Good post. Agreed.

 

I have cut contact, of course