Jump to content

When they tell you on a dating app "just want to meet people"

miss2017

By miss2017
in Dating

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Mr.Me Established Member

Mr.Me

Posted
Posted

Most women profiles I read, pretty much sound off with PC code along the lines of "I want a guy to swoon over me, make me feel pretty, desired and wanted/needed. I'll probably have sex with this one guy, but I don't want to feel like a slut afterword."

 

 

 

OR something like that.

 

 

 

Guy profiles I read something like "I really want to score and I'm willing to put in the the minimum effort to make you feel pretty and desired".

 

 

Or something like that.

 

 

 

I don't think women in general really want to read or hear the crass of being too direct as evident that 'Hey baby, wanna git a pizza ***?" worked, me would be using it more often.

Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted

It's not rocket science.

 

I've been messaging with this man a few days. His profile says he wants a serious relationship, 44 years old, divorced, one almost-grown daughter, professional, hobbies, etc.

 

I just gave him my number and we're texting, might talk on the phone tonight. One of the first things he confirmed via text is that he wants a serious relationship.

 

So now we know we're on the same page and less likely to be wasting our time.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

I'm married and obviously not on any dating sites but let me ask? Doesn't everyone who goes on a first date want to date and see where it goes from there. I've never dated a man with intentions to get him for a boyfriend until I know him well. I can't imagine saying I'm looking for a boyfriend when I know I'm not going to settle for a guy until I know him well and vice versa. It just doesn't seem reasonable at least to me.

  • Like 3
Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted
Doesn't everyone who goes on a first date want to date and see where it goes from there.

I guess people have a different mentality about this. Some people, like me, have an intention, an end goal in mind, in almost everything we do. In romance, the goal is a lasting relationship. People in this camp won't waste their time going on a date with someone "to see where it goes" if there are incompatibilities that would get in the way of forming a lasting bond.

 

Of course it doesn't mean that every person you go on a date with is going to be the one - but why bother going on a date with someone who obviously could not be the one, and isn't even thinking about finding the one?

 

There are men of the same mind out there. Pretty much every man I've had a relationship with was 100% clear from day 1 that his goal was a great relationship with the potential to lead to marriage, family, and all that good stuff. If he's just looking to pass the time with dating as entertainment... honestly, I'd rather be productive and clean my house than go out with a guy like that.

chillii Established Member

chillii

Posted
Posted
There is a respectable dating app that's supposed to be female-friendly. I had used it in the past. You would be surprised at the number of women who put on their profile that they Don't Know Yet what they're looking for, maybe 80% of the profiles. "I'm looking for the one. Let's meet and see where it goes", or "I have my **** together and so should you, looking for a partner in crime". They still put Don't Know Yet. They want to keep their options open while they look for "The One". That doesn't spell serious.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep , saw all that on mine over and over.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted
I'm married and obviously not on any dating sites but let me ask? Doesn't everyone who goes on a first date want to date and see where it goes from there. I've never dated a man with intentions to get him for a boyfriend until I know him well. I can't imagine saying I'm looking for a boyfriend when I know I'm not going to settle for a guy until I know him well and vice versa. It just doesn't seem reasonable at least to me.

 

I'm glad I'm not the only old fart who keeps shaking my head at this. So many people thinking they have to have some guarantee up front that the person likes them or wants to be their boyfriend or wants sex or doesn't want sex. I mean, I do understand making a distinction in your profile if you're just casual or if you want a relationship, but people getting offended after a few contacts and getting ghosted or a date and then they're not interested, OLD is not a catalog where you order what you want. It's dating and dating is nothing more than meeting and getting to know a person long enough to see if there's any reason you want to see them again or not.

  • Like 3
Lamron300 Established Member

Lamron300

Posted
Posted
After a few months after my last on-off relationship ended, I decided to get back on that famous dating app starting with a T.

 

I'm starting to tell them if they want to meet people they should be on meetup.com and not on a dating app! lol

 

What do you think of this?

 

I don't think this is as bad as you're making out. I'm a guy who is looking for a relationship on dating apps and that is word for word my response. I don't want someone to think I'm too 'keen'. My attitude is let us meet up, get to know each other and see what happens. If things go well we are likely to end up in a relationship. I've had women straight away ask me are you in this for casual or do you want a relationship? I've even had people talk to me about kids and marriage and converting to catholicism on second date!

  • Like 2
  • Author
miss2017 Established Member

miss2017

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I don't think this is as bad as you're making out. I'm a guy who is looking for a relationship on dating apps and that is word for word my response. I don't want someone to think I'm too 'keen'. My attitude is let us meet up, get to know each other and see what happens. If things go well we are likely to end up in a relationship. I've had women straight away ask me are you in this for casual or do you want a relationship? I've even had people talk to me about kids and marriage and converting to catholicism on second date!

 

It's not about "being too keen", it's about having an intention. People don't go on a dating app without an intention, being a serious relationship or a casual hook-up or whatever.

 

To me someone who says "I want to meet people and see what happens" is either someone who doesn't have the courage to say they want casual sex, or someone who is lost and emotionally unavailable.

 

I know what I want. I want to meet my soulmate and be in a committed serious happy relationship. So my match needs to be a man who wants the same.

 

Of course wanting the same doesn't mean we're compatible but at least we're on the same page.

 

The "meet people" is ridiculous, because men are there meeting women, not "people" in the general sense.

  • Like 1
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted

My best piece of advice is to not use the word "should" regarding what others do. They will always do what they want and getting frustrated about what you think they should be doing only gives yourself unnecessary angst and doesn't change anything.

 

Live and let live.

Emerald_11 Established Member

Emerald_11

Posted
Posted

I think that the majority of people on the dating sites are actually just trying to meet people. I think it depends on who they meet what they may decide they want. If they were to find someone they really like they might decide they want a relationship or marriage.

 

I think that putting just want to meet people on a profile is being honest.

 

Some people get turned off from profiles that says -looking to find someone to marry because it may seem like too much. That same person who actually is looking for someone to marry might put - just looking to meet people instead so they don't scare everyone away and they can actually meet people.

 

Of course there will always be the people just trying to hook up on those sites. But not everyone saying they just want to meet people is trying to just hook up. Unfortunately it does take time to weed people out.

  • Author
miss2017 Established Member

miss2017

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I think that the majority of people on the dating sites are actually just trying to meet people. I think it depends on who they meet what they may decide they want. If they were to find someone they really like they might decide they want a relationship or marriage.

 

I think that putting just want to meet people on a profile is being honest.

 

Some people get turned off from profiles that says -looking to find someone to marry because it may seem like too much. That same person who actually is looking for someone to marry might put - just looking to meet people instead so they don't scare everyone away and they can actually meet people.

 

Of course there will always be the people just trying to hook up on those sites. But not everyone saying they just want to meet people is trying to just hook up. Unfortunately it does take time to weed people out.

 

I understand that but a man is not on a dating site to meet "people". He's there to meet women. As I said before, it is a DATING site, not a meetup.com event.

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...