you_and_me Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 8 months and now im really worried bout breaking up because her ex bf has started telling her friends he still loves her and wants to get back with her and found out she has been keeping all this from me ok i trust her but now i know that, its like stuck in the back of my head i dont really know how to deal with this i know i sould trust her but why would she keep it from me i kinda scared she mite cheat on me or theres more to the story shes not telling me i rly dno wat 2 do
JS17 Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Have you talked to her about it? Asked her why she kept it from you? Asked her what she wants from your relationship and if she's happy in it?
upsetnhurt Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 The best that you can do is to sit her down and let her know exactly how you feel. The hope is that she truly feels that you are her priority now in her life and she can tell you that. If not, at the very least it is important for you to know all the facts immediately and then you can make some decisions on how to proceed with the relationship. You had not mentioned how long they were together nor how long after the two of you met up however the healing process from a breakup is crucial to one's healthy mindset and I only hope that she had enough time to fully realize why her past relationship would not work out.
Author you_and_me Posted October 1, 2005 Author Posted October 1, 2005 almost 8 months and we were perfectly happy both of us she says she still is and shes always said shes wants us to be together forever and she see's her furture with me it started when she got a text and i said why dont you read it and she didnt want to in front of me and then she said ok dont get mad but my ex bf has been tryin to get hold of me and been tellin my freinds he still likes me and i seriously my first forts wer she wants to get back with him but hey that could be just me even though we are back to normal now it still isnt out my head she has told me nothing going on but ther in a few clases toogether which makes me think even more sould i just try and forget about it. i dont know what to say bout her she to good for words she brill i love her to bits shes life and i couldent be with out her so i dont no what i would do if it ended
JS17 Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 She probably didn't want to tell you b/c she didn't want to upset you. Try not to think about it so much or your insecurities will end up ruining the relationship.
Author you_and_me Posted October 1, 2005 Author Posted October 1, 2005 k thnks 4 your help i am probley gettin worked up over nothing and to be fair she did reply to a txt and said "look you just almost broke me and my bf up soo can u plz stop trying to contact me hes my bf and i love him" but it was just somthing in the back of my head that was bothering me thnk 4 ur time .
johan Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 Trust her. Don't be stupid though. You are right to let her know it's on your mind, and it's her responsibility to make sure you know she's not letting this come between you. It's not fair for her to let this new factor into your relationship without doing something to make sure it has no effect. But just convince yourself of a few things: 1) You don't really have control over this, and it's possible she'll cheat or let this break you up. Just realize if one of those things happens, you'll be ok. 2) It's not possible for something to start up between her and someone else without you knowing something is up within a short time. She can't deceive you about something that big for long. 3) You need some well-defined boundaries for yourself and your relationship. She needs to understand that you have expectations she has to meet when it comes to other men. The fact that it's her ex is irrelevant. The rules are the same. If she can't meet those expectations, and you find you can't trust her, then you can't be with her. 4) There is no point confronting him about it. It's her job to shut him down. If you find you're having to step in between them, then that's her fault and you have your answer regarding how important your relationship is to her. 5) She probably doesn't have the time or energy or desire to keep something going with two guys at once. She'll be with who she loves. 6) If she decides she doesn't love you, then you'll have to let her go. 7) Being insecure and jealous is ok to a point. You should allow yourself those feelings, but don't let them take over. You can't shut them out. You could only not feel them if you didn't care. Hang in there and wait for something real to happen before you do anything drastic. If she's worth being with, it won't. If she isn't then it's better to find out now.
Author you_and_me Posted October 1, 2005 Author Posted October 1, 2005 she has convinced me that nothings goin on and i do believe her but she is good at getting things her way but i reacted to it when it happened we was bout to go out and i just left and she followed me she wouldent stop crying and i jst hated seeing her crying so i gave in and everthing went back to normal yeh gr8 post!!
JS17 Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 she is good at getting things her way Welcome to the world of dating!
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