hmmhmmm2 Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 Been on 4 dates with a religious girl...and it's all out of whack. 1st date had my arm around her...but no kiss. 2nd date went awkward because essentially I broke my foot and couldn't walk. 3rd date literally nothing happened, I walked her to her door but just got the hug. 4th date was weird. I had my arm around her...she was stroking my chest, night came to a close...I went for a kiss...she said give her more time to get to know me. Super frustrating...I respected it and said it's totally fine...but for me it really isn't fine. she texts me every day so I know she's interested. What the heck do I do here? Or is she not as interested as I think?
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 she texts me every day so I know she's interested. What the heck do I do here? Or is she not as interested as I think? If you're interested in her have a frank conversation with her about what she thinks is appropriate in the progression of physical expression over time in a relationship. Really listen to her. Then discuss. Four dates in is not too early for such a conversation and it'll save you a lot of frustration. You may or may not be able to sustain a relationship with her according to her expectations. But, at least you'll know what you're dealing with. 1
todreaminblue Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 If you're interested in her have a frank conversation with her about what she thinks is appropriate in the progression of physical expression over time in a relationship. Really listen to her. Then discuss. Four dates in is not too early for such a conversation and it'll save you a lot of frustration. You may or may not be able to sustain a relationship with her according to her expectations. But, at least you'll know what you're dealing with. sound advice i agree with living water having a discussion about expectations is a really good idea.....she has told you to give her time to know you better that sounds solid to me.....and by solid i mean a good idea...deb 1
salparadise Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 I went for a kiss...she said give her more time to get to know me. Er, how much more time to get to know you... before a kiss? As others have said, you need to ask about her expectations. But your expectations are every bit as valid as hers, and the two are obviously not aligned. The question is, how much is too much? You also didn't say anything about your views on [her] religion; are you religious too, or thinking it's a difference you can deal with? Sounds like the latter given how you describe her as "a religious girl." If she won't even kiss after four dates, it's a good bet that sex is off the table for the foreseeable future, and beyond. It's hard to know what you're dealing with without more info. Religion isn't necessarily the bottom line on reticence. Women who are religious and intrinsically sexual usually find a middle way that works for them and their partners. I've dated religious women before and they certainly were not prudes. I think you've got an outlier on your hands. You have to decide what to do given your attitudes and circumstances, but I know what I'd do. I'd assume that the reticence is not limited to kissing, and I'd move on and date a normal woman who appreciates a good physical relationship as much as I do.
elaine567 Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 She is a "religious girl", you know that so why the rush? How old is she? She may be still a virgin, she may be saving herself for marriage, she may just want a friendship... what ever it is, she is in obviously no hurry to get physical with you. If you just want quick sex, then stay away from "religious" girls. 4
balletomane Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 I suggest people take a look at OP's post history before responding. OP, your previous posts here indicate an obsession with getting to have sex with religious women, including teenage girls who are nearly two decades younger than you. It's entirely possible that the vibes you give off are making this woman feel cautious. She may want to take some more time to be sure you're someone she wants to share physical affection with. 2
stillafool Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 If you just want quick sex, then stay away from "religious" girls. Dude, if you're looking for sex stop going out with "religious" girls and go out with women who want to have sex. There's plenty of them out there.
salparadise Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 If you just want quick sex, then stay away from "religious" girls. Or more accurately, girls who are reticent (even to kiss). It's hard to find people who declare themselves non-religious. A Pew survey finds that 63% of Americans identify as Christian, and only 26% as non-religious (atheists, agnostics, or nothing in particular). My experience has been that most women who identify as Christian (which is most women) are not sexually restrained. OP just happened to find one who is. The most religious woman I've dated was conflicted, but not reticent. I traveled to meet her the first time, and after a walk and conversation she said that she wanted to lie down for a quick nap... and she invited me to join her. You can guess how that worked out. After about three months she informed me that she intended to remain chaste [until marriage]. I said, "well, it's been nice knowing you." It didn't happen of course, but she did try a few more times before we broke up. I have other stories but will save for another time. Bottom line is... religion can be a deal breaker, it can be no problem at all, or it can just make things complicated. But reticence, whether religious or not, is only going to work with guys that either have the patience of Job, or don't have options.
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 With her I'm guessing you need to multiply it by 3. So 4 dates in, probably won't get a kiss out of her until date 12.
alphamale Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 hang in there, maybe you'll get to take her virginity
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 What exactly entitles you to a kiss from her?
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