Dating someone who is shy

[guy45]

I've been dating and talking to this woman for over a week now. She seems to be very reserved and keeps her distance.

 

She's not really the romantic/flirty type in conversations either.

I'm attracted to her but am unsure if I should continue dating her.

 

She's also Chinese if that makes any difference.

 

What do you think? Maybe its just a phase early on?

[Foxhall]

yes this can improve over time,

 

my girl on our personality tests, she is a 62% extrovert and me the exact opposite, a 62% introvert,

 

she was worried about this initially but is happy now, my bolder side is starting to come out apparently.

[preraph]

I don't think you can count on that changing. Seems to me people are most flirtatious and excited in the very earliest stages. She might get more comfortable, but the way that manifests might not be the way you hope.

[d0nnivain]

It's cultural. She's not into public displays or declarations. If you want a woman who puts it all out there with fewer boundaries & reservations she is not the woman for you.

[smackie9]

Find someone else. You shouldn't have to hope that they will change just for you. You want someone you just click with, things go smoothly, comfortable with each other, and you get each other...totally on the same page. Right?

[MountainGirl111]

You've only been dating for a little over a week, is that right? If so, I'd just give it more time. One week is just the beginning, really. Some people who are shy/reserved can actually turn out to be passionate in some areas. You'll only find more out over time. I'd just perhaps concentrate on being able to communicate with her so that you can get to know one another better.

[mortensorchid]

There might be cultural differences at work here, to be sure. But when I encounter people who are shy or socially awkward types, they are not going to change no matter how much reassurance or support they get from you or others. Or they may seem shy or uninterested or preoccupied with other things when it comes to you, but they are not when they are working or applying themselves to other things work or personal. And they might be very self centered as well, they expect others to just fall down before them or cater to their needs, or only do what they want when they want it.

 

Ultimately, it's if you and this person are a good match or not. I'd say next on this one if I were in your position, but you also don't know this person at all either. If you continue to feel that way about her after a bit, then just move on.

[Lotsgoingon]

Shy or not shy, the question you want to ask yourself is simple: are you having a great time, a fantastic time with this person?

 

If yes, keep going.

 

If no, call it quits.

[guy45]

I think shy was probably the wrong word to use. I feel much more like she just doesn't care. For example if I would try to have a more meaningful conversation with her she would just change the subject and talk about money or food.

 

Also whenever we text her messages are usually short and lack quality, yet she still wants to meet.

I feel like my last 2 exes were exactly the same. It lasted a few months and then they just easily forgot me. They never really tired and I never really felt like I had a connection with them.

 

So my question then is what do these types of people have to gain from me? What's their goal?

[MountainGirl111]

Okay: "Shy" vs. "doesn't care" vs "lacking connection" are different things.

 

Based on what you've written you're not getting anywhere toward meaningful connection and/or relationship. Bad sign if you feel like she doesn't care or has no desire to get to know you better...She just wants wants to talk about food and money....hmmm....if you felt the same way, I'd be more likely to think keep going with this girl. But, it's obvious you want something different than that. So, I don't know if you'll ever have a meeting of the minds.