Lucovit Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 I feel like an idiot. I'll try to make a short story out of a long one. I went to a local social gathering (in a bar) and there was a really pretty girl behind the bar. I ordered a drink at during the ordering, at a certain moment, she gave me a very strange look, which was for me the sign to not really talk/approach her. Anyway, two weeks later I enter a store and guess who was working there.... Well, since there was no one in the store I started talking to her when she approached me to ask if she could help me with anything. I jokingly mentioned: "oh you work at that bar X, no, I remember you" To which she said yes and it was obvious she had no clue who I was. I then said: "yeah yeah, I remember very clearly, you are the pretty one from the bar. To which she gave me a shy smile. I then continued to tell her she, back then, gave me a weird look, to which she looked all confused. I explained it a bit more and then she said no no, it was not for that, it was for another reason... I talked with her for a few minutes about the fact she was also working at that bar and that she looks a lot younger than she is (for some reason her age was mentioned at a certain moment). To this she reacted pretty defensive as if she had to explain me she was still working there at her age (all people working there are actually students doing a student job, except her and most of the people that go there are also students, but that specific evening there was an event that was also for "older" people like me). I told her that she doesn't have to explain herself on this. Anyway, at a certain moment during our talk she said "well, tonight there is a party too..." , to which I replied: oh, no I cant tonight. Then I paid and left. I an idiot! I had nothing else planned that night, my brain just froze and thats that... Of course: maybe she just informed about the party to get more people (although, the "pre-party", to which you had to register was already full, no more people were allowed, only the "after-party", was open to anyone, so I do find it weird she would invite someone if there were normally already enough people anyway). I have never seen her working in that store before but now I have seen her again today (did not enter the store). I am going back to that bar in 2 weeks, so I think I'll see her there again. Or should I just go back to that store again when she is working there? I have no clue what my best option is. When it comes to this type of stuff, asking a girl out or making small talk to someone to find out she is interested, I have no clue what I am doing. Any insights? Should I just wait till I most likely see her again at the bar or should I just go back to the store, buy something and have a little chat ? But even if I do so, I have seriously no clue what to say.
rightondude Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 I'm not sure she was actually inviting you to the party here. Sounds like you cut her off before you knew for sure what she was asking. Also the lines you used didn't sound very complimentary and it didn't particularly sound like she was enjoying the conversation. I could be wrong and it could just be the way you're telling the story. But I'd probably just wave a polite hello and see if she takes things further. 1
Author Lucovit Posted November 5, 2019 Author Posted November 5, 2019 I'm not sure she was actually inviting you to the party here. Sounds like you cut her off before you knew for sure what she was asking. Also the lines you used didn't sound very complimentary and it didn't particularly sound like she was enjoying the conversation. I could be wrong and it could just be the way you're telling the story. But I'd probably just wave a polite hello and see if she takes things further. Yeah, I guess I explained it in a bad way. I did not cut her off. She just mentioned during our talk that there was a party that specific evening and that was the end of her sentence. So I simple responded to her with oh no, tonight, I can't go. The part in bold: not sure what you mean or how you get that from my text. She looked pretty "happy" when I mentioned that she was the pretty girl I saw that evening. The age part about her being older than she looked: that was also nothing she took as a bad thing. It was more the part she still worked there that she wanted to clarify to me. I see what you mean, I was also thinking to not really talk to her myself and just wait if she maybe recognizes me and says something or not.
Flame Aura Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 No idea what's going on in her mind from what you have posted, but there's only one way to find out. Next time you see her in the store/bar just ask her would she like to go out for dinner. Simple. 1
Author Lucovit Posted November 5, 2019 Author Posted November 5, 2019 No idea what's going on in her mind from what you have posted, but there's only one way to find out. Next time you see her in the store/bar just ask her would she like to go out for dinner. Simple. Yes, hard to read her mind of course. But a girl usually does not ask me to go somewhere, so I got no idea about what it ment. I am have doubts to just ask her out like that. I think I would first like to talk to her a bit more.
Lotsgoingon Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 Party where? Back at the bar? Just not obvious to me that she was interested in you.
Author Lucovit Posted November 5, 2019 Author Posted November 5, 2019 Party where? Back at the bar? Just not obvious to me that she was interested in you. Yeah, that day there was a party at that same bar she works at.
smackie9 Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 You are no smooth operator. That conversation was terrible. How to make a girl uncomfortable. Needling her about her giving you a strange look fails. Should have kept things simply friendly and short. Things got off track. And your reaction about the party was abrupt and confusing. Anyways she didn't remember you, so you didn't make any kind of impact on her...there is no attraction.
Author Lucovit Posted November 6, 2019 Author Posted November 6, 2019 You are no smooth operator. That conversation was terrible. How to make a girl uncomfortable. Needling her about her giving you a strange look fails. Should have kept things simply friendly and short. Things got off track. And your reaction about the party was abrupt and confusing. Anyways she didn't remember you, so you didn't make any kind of impact on her...there is no attraction. I will not deny that lol:laugh: However, not sure why I made her feel uncomfortable, as far as I could tell, she kinda found it funny. Again: I think my initial text was not very well written. I did not abruptly stop her when she mentioned that party nor did I give a very abrupt answer. But you are right: she did not remember be at all, so yeah, there is for sure no initial attraction. But is that necessary? Has everybody here only asked a girl out when there was an initial attraction from both sides? I doubt it.
Flame Aura Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 I am have doubts to just ask her out like that. I think I would first like to talk to her a bit more. I didn't mean asking her out should be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. When you see her, talk to her a bit first then ask her out. No waiting until next time. No asking for her number only. You are the man. Lead.
Author Lucovit Posted November 6, 2019 Author Posted November 6, 2019 I didn't mean asking her out should be the first thing that comes out of your mouth. When you see her, talk to her a bit first then ask her out. No waiting until next time. No asking for her number only. You are the man. Lead. Oh ok. But talking to someone while she is at work, not that easy, especially if you want to talk a bit longer than 30 seconds. I however, do see your point and agree. I guess I have to go shopping a bit more in that specific shop. haha
Flame Aura Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 Oh ok. But talking to someone while she is at work, not that easy, especially if you want to talk a bit longer than 30 seconds. I however, do see your point and agree. I guess I have to go shopping a bit more in that specific shop. haha It actually makes it a lot easier... it means after you have talked to her you have a perfectly valid reason to leave soon after - she needs to get back to work. Yep go back to that shop. When you see her say something along the lines of " Hey X.. bumping into you again.. you been following me??" *cheeky smile* She will reply with something then after a few standard exchanges about your day etc, go in with "Listen, there's this new bar I wanted to check out next weekend, would you like to come with me? I've only ever seen you make drinks.. I'm curious if you can drink them too.." If she replies with a yes, you ask for her number so you can message her the details. If she replies with a no but offers an alternative day/event, you take her number so you can confirm to her whether it works for you. If she replies with a no and an excuse, with no alternative offered, you politely tell her it's a shame, but it's fine. You do not contact her or talk to her again when you see her, unless she initiates. In whichever scenario, once you have her answer, you tell her "Well I should let you get back to work" and say your goodbyes. It's literally 5 mins out of your life to find out whether she is interested or not. Nothing to lose.
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