Girl rejected me after three dates and three kisses

[Lamron300]

I don’t agree the tone is patronizing, maybe frustrated and strident. I don’t think the assumption is wrong something turned them off, clearly something did or you wouldn’t be here.

 

However I do think there is an assumption there is something off with you. Could be, you should be open to that, or maybe not. Could just be you are not their type personality wise. All that means is you should try to get better at finding women who are more your type.

 

I will reiterate from my view and what you’ve posted no one led you on.

 

She assumed I must be good looking for a woman to ask me out, assumed because I have a master's degree I am book smart/too literal and assumed I am not fun.

 

My point is I wouldn't be here if it was a straight-up scenario, one date and didn't hear anything back. I've never been on three dates with someone (who iniated the kiss three times) and the relationship has gone nowhere. I think most people make up their mind before that.

 

I am conflating two or three different women in my stories, which is making it confusing. They are very similar situations, which has made me give up OLD for now.

 

I don't understand how I wasn't led on in the first story I mentioned where the girl iniated kiss on first date, agreed to second date. Came to the second date with absoluteley no interest in being there (only replied before the date to ask what time is it again?) then on the actual date was quiet the whole night and awkward. Then when I got uncomfortable and asked her if she was okay she said yes and after the date said she had a good time and said it was noisy (she chose the location). She then went as far to say I'm looking forward to seeing you roll sushi (3rd date)...then blanked me till she finally admitted she wasn't interested. For me, that is dishonest, it isn't a sudden realisation...it was clear she wasn't interested for some reason by the second date. She could have said when I gave her the option and rightly asked her why she was so quiet.

 

 

The girl who this thread about would never have come out and told me the truth, for some reason. Again went as far as to agree to meet up 4th time. I don't cast spells on people to say yes to things, honestly!

 

 

On the flip side, I have considered genuine faults on my part. I wasn't assertive, I didn't know how to say no ( snowboarding festival bad second date choice) I shouldn't have told her I was nervous over and over again, I shouldn't have had too many expectations too soon. I shouldn't have come across as too nice. All valid points, which I agree could have resulted in my failure.

 

However, I disagree with the assumptions about me as a person or my personality and lifestyle.

 

My main weakness in the whole thing was the fact before I knew her she had a date arranged before she met/matched with me. This made me not act myself the whole time as I felt I'm competing with other people. I then in turn arranged dates myself to not put all my eggs in one basket...but then I think maybe thats what she did too and maybe she grew closer to her other dates and then felt she was just going out with me for the sake of it. I went on a date on a Wednesday, then saw her on Thursday and was supposed to go on another date on the Friday. Being single there is nothing wrong with this, but realistically you're going to like one of the three dates more than the other two. As Versacehottie said maybe I don't have a realistic perception if I expect someone to only date me from the start. But you can see how it gets messy/my main point is I disagree that something I do/say makes these people come to a sudden realisation. If I did I am sure I would know by now.

 

Nevertheless, I will do a lot of things differently if I decide to go dating again.

[Versacehottie]

I said you were good looking because YOU said you were good looking. I'm taking your word as fact & evidence that you are getting to date one. As far as not being socially smart or personable enough, this thread alone is some evidence. They are not assumptions but my experience here with you. That you are so hard-headed is exasperating--maybe your dates felt similarly?

 

 

Stop looking for answers if you have all of them.

 

And as always wish you the best. Sorry if you think it's patronizing--not my intention at all, though admittedly it is you are kind of in a frustrating loop. Best of luck

[Lamron300]

I said you were good looking because YOU said you were good looking. I'm taking your word as fact & evidence that you are getting to date one.

 

And as always wish you the best. Sorry if you think it's patronizing--not my intention at all, though admittedly it is you are kind of in a frustrating loop. Best of luck

 

I never said I'm good looking, you must have misread a post. I am hardheaded in this instance I agree. Because it isn't black and white. I don't have all the answers and some things you have said are accurate, but the assumptions are not. If you misread my posts I can see why you would make a wrong assumption, nevertheless, it is still wrong.

 

Yes I do feel it is patronising as I alone were on the dates. You don't constantly agree to go on dates with someone if there is a massive dealbreaker in their personality ( Well I wouldn't).

 

Her whole lack of telling the truth doesn't make sense. Like I've said in previous posts, its not just one thing or two things she said... a lot of things she said she didn't have to say.

 

My issue with myself is I could tell she wasn't interested anymore by the fact she was suddenly taking 5/6 hours to reply...why did I not just back off and take that as a rejection in itself as she wasn't capable of saying it bluntly. I need to read peoples intentions/actions better before I even meet them.

[basil67]

There doesn't need to be a massive dealbreaker when deciding to stop seeing a person. And it's quite reasonable to go on a number of dates as you're getting to know them and then decide that they aren't the right fit for you.

[SumGuy]

...

I don't understand how I wasn't led on in the first story I mentioned where the girl iniated kiss on first date, agreed to second date. Came to the second date with absoluteley no interest in being there (only replied before the date to ask what time is it again?) then on the actual date was quiet the whole night and awkward. Then when I got uncomfortable and asked her if she was okay she said yes and after the date said she had a good time and said it was noisy (she chose the location). She then went as far to say I'm looking forward to seeing you roll sushi (3rd date)...then blanked me till she finally admitted she wasn't interested. For me, that is dishonest, it isn't a sudden realisation...it was clear she wasn't interested for some reason by the second date. She could have said when I gave her the option and rightly asked her why she was so quiet.

All i can say is there is another explanation for the same set of facts. One where she was trying to decide, honestly, if you were it for her. A course of action that is perfectly consonant with a reasonable human being facing the realities of life, being hesitant to offend for example as especially when it is a women having to say no to a man, who may not take it well and will get all judgmental.

 

That doesn't equate to leading someone on in my book, it equates to dating as we all try to bumble through it and figure out what is for us. You call it dishonest, others call it her being unsure and not wanting to offend.

 

Let me put it another way, you look at her actions and infer a dishonest intent which I think is overreaching as the same actions can be readily explained with no ill intent.

 

What she and the other women have certainly failed to do is be your emotional care taker or achieve a high degree of emotional awareness of your emotions. Some people are good at that, just not the women you are dating it appears...not that they should be expected to be...but also it is OK if that is the kind of woman you want, they exist.

 

In my experience, women generally want you to be their emotional care taker, and it is described as looking for a strong, caring man. I can almost guarantee you from sites dedicated to women complaining about relationship woes with men...your reaction is almost stereotypical "nice guy' reaction and not the good kind.

 

 

The girl who this thread about would never have come out and told me the truth, for some reason. Again went as far as to agree to meet up 4th time. I don't cast spells on people to say yes to things, honestly!

The truth being here in my view thoughts and intentions you are assuming she had...whilst just gave you a reasonable alternative that may be closer to the truth.

 

Yet assume you are right, she knew early on this was going nowhere but agreed to dates.

 

The question is why? Many women will tell you that why they agree to dates with guys they know they don't want to see is fear of what happens if they say no. One reason they don;t want to kiss on the first date is fear the guy will assume instead of it being right in the moment (and maybe later they think different) is that a kiss is a signal this is going somewhere.

 

It's OK if you didn't know this, but now you do.

 

 

On the flip side, I have considered genuine faults on my part. I wasn't assertive, I didn't know how to say no ( snowboarding festival bad second date choice) I shouldn't have told her I was nervous over and over again, I shouldn't have had too many expectations too soon. I shouldn't have come across as too nice. All valid points, which I agree could have resulted in my failure.

 

However, I disagree with the assumptions about me as a person or my personality and lifestyle.

Fair enough, but you saying you weren't assertive, should have said no, said you were nervous over and over and having too many expectations too soon are your person, your personality and you think they are a problem. (I myself reserve judgement, to some they are a problem to others they make you a catch)

Also a snowboarding festival as a bad date choice, that certainly is a lifestyle thing. If you were completely in to it it would have been a great date. Again nothing wrong with it not being your thing but it is a lifestyle thing you were not aligned with her on.

 

My main weakness in the whole thing was the fact before I knew her she had a date arranged before she met/matched with me. This made me not act myself the whole time as I felt I'm competing with other people. I then in turn arranged dates myself to not put all my eggs in one basket...but then I think maybe thats what she did too and maybe she grew closer to her other dates and then felt she was just going out with me for the sake of it. I went on a date on a Wednesday, then saw her on Thursday and was supposed to go on another date on the Friday. Being single there is nothing wrong with this, but realistically you're going to like one of the three dates more than the other two. As Versacehottie said maybe I don't have a realistic perception if I expect someone to only date me from the start. But you can see how it gets messy/my main point is I disagree that something I do/say makes these people come to a sudden realisation. If I did I am sure I would know by now.

Yes it sounds like she was honest with having other dates, so far from leading you on. You had other dates to. So yes very unrealistic to think what happened was out of the normal or leading you on.

[Lamron300]

All i can say is there is another explanation for the same set of facts. One where she was trying to decide, honestly, if you were it for her. A course of action that is perfectly consonant with a reasonable human being facing the realities of life, being hesitant to offend for example as especially when it is a women having to say no to a man, who may not take it well and will get all judgmental.

.

 

I would agree if she didn't clearly display her disinterest on the second date. It was to the point that it was rude. She had no interest in making any conversation (complete opposite from first date). What I didn't understand is she asked me out, she initiated the kiss on first date and chose venue of second date( ended up being a quiz night and she said it was noisy on stage that why she was quiet. I can understand the fear of saying you're not interested to a guy face to face, as you don't know how they might react. However, it was over text and she made an excuse for her silence and said I'm looking forward to rolling sushi with you on the third date. She the ignored me, which I found rude and when she did tell the truth, I responded graciously and said "naturally, I'm disappointed but I'm glad you've said now" and then she blocked me. When I asked my friends about this scenario, they seemed confused as well. She could have said I'm not interested and everyone would have been ok in that scenario.

 

I've talked about this most recent scenario in-depth and I just feel that some of the things she said were unnecessary if she wasnt interested, but I guess thats just my opinion. She didn't lead me on because she had another date, that was booked before I knew her and was one day after I first matched with her. The snowboarding festival was a failure as all the stands were closing down by time we got there and we didn't get time to talk till we went to dinner(which I shouldn't have gone again for second date)

 

I had other dates as a backup, which again, I hate thinking of things like that...but that is dating culture. I am prepared to date one person at a time, but from what I'm realising, that will only shoot me in the foot. That is what is putting me off dating. My attitude isn't compatible with OLD.

 

 

 

What I'm getting at is I don't want to waste time/resources on people who aren't interested..but it seems asking someone directly if they are interested isn't enough to get the truth.

 

It just goes to show how difficult it is for me to act in certain way, when a lot of people on this thread have a different explanation. To me when she kissed me on three occasions, I thought that meant something. But as you said, now it may not. I don't want to kiss another girl or go on numerous dates if I'm not 100% sure that's what THEY want. I feel people are doing things they don't want to do and that doesn't benefit either of us.

Edited November 16, 2019 by Lamron300

[basil67]

I would agree if she didn't clearly display her disinterest on the second date. It was to the point that it was rude. She had no interest in making any conversation (complete opposite from first date).

 

This is the second date that you said was boring, yes? My guess is that she picked up your "bored" vibe and this dropped her interest level in you quite a number of points. Thing is, a good companion can make any activity interesting. For this date, it wasn't about the snowboards, it's about the conversation you have while you're there. Some of the best dates I've been on were disasters at the premises, but the good companionship made it worthwhile anyway.

 

You're complaining about her not being honest with you. But you'd have to be a fool to not take notice of her disinterest in you on the second date. Seeing this disinterest, arranging a third date was always going to be a dubious proposition. Yes, you and she did end up both giving each other a second chance, but when you're at the point of second chance, you need to own the risk.

[Lotsgoingon]

Any time early on that someone gives you conflicting signals ... interest and disinterest ... changing their minds ... quietness or distance on a date ... there is only one proper response: stop. Leave them alone! This person is not reliable enough to date.

 

When this woman was oddly quiet on the second date--no, don't ASK for any reason. Say something if you want, but the main thing is to realize you want to leave this person alone. Stop interest right then and there.

 

Something ain't right. Frankly, I think you can end the date right then and there--stand up and say you are leaving, the date is boring.

 

Your job is to notice that the date doesn't feel good, and stop! Her job was to give you a reason for her distance if she had one ... but you don't really want to give someone an easy pass based on a reason.

 

So when she said she was looking forward to Sushi and third date, no! That was the time to say absolutely no! ... based on her weirdness on date #2. Absolutely self-destructive to resume dealing with--and getting your hopes up about-- this hot-and-cold person.

 

Midway through that second date with this woman, that was the time to call it quits!

 

You're assuming it was something "wrong" with you that led her to act as she did. I don't think there is reason to assume that. Her distance on the second date--that all on her!

[Lamron300]

This is the second date that you said was boring, yes? My guess is that she picked up your "bored" vibe and this dropped her interest level in you quite a number of points.

 

You're complaining about her not being honest with you. But you'd have to be a fool to not take notice of her disinterest in you on the second date. Seeing this disinterest, arranging a third date was always going to be a dubious proposition. Yes, you and she did end up both giving each other a second chance, but when you're at the point of second chance, you need to own the risk.

 

Sorry, two different people and dates. I wasn't bored of this girl. To set out the scenario. We matched on app, had a great convo..she asked me out. We went on date, had a good time at a bar...she kissed me at the end, I went home feeling very giddy and positive. Before we had gone on the second date, she seemed to be being blunt and I can't remember as it was back in May, but I remember her responding late at night to ask "when are we meeting again?" and the way it came across was ahhh I forgot I had to meet you.

 

On the actual date she didn't want to talk and I remember getting very worried..I remember asking her if she wanted another drink and then bringing up the podcast I told her to listen to, which before the date she seemed very enthusiastic to talk about.

 

The point you made is valid and I don't know why I do it. In both instances, for whatever reason the disinterest was clearly there, yet I pursued them? Usually, if someone doesn't reply to a message I don't message them again. I think the reason I pursued both of them despite evidence of disinterest is that they both agreed to another date (third and fourth respectively) so I went between being 100% sure they weren't interested to 70% sure.

[Lamron300]

Any time early on that someone gives you conflicting signals ... interest and disinterest ... changing their minds ... quietness or distance on a date ... there is only one proper response: stop. Leave them alone! This person is not reliable enough to date.

 

When this woman was oddly quiet on the second date--no, don't ASK for any reason.

 

You're assuming it was something "wrong" with you that led her to act as she did. I don't think there is reason to assume that. Her distance on the second date--that all on her!

 

This is exactly what I'm saying, and why I'm in the situation and state I am in now.

 

I don't want to fill this thread with my experiences of too many different people as it is inappropriate/ would be a super long thread. But the girl who was hot and cold, made no sense. I have never been that uncomfortable on a date before and I reject the assertion I must've said something. After being very happy on the first date and kissing me, before we even met up on the second date she was completely off with me. On the date, it was like I was trying to cheer her up or something. Because I had such a good interaction with her on first date I felt it was worth saving and that why I asked her out for the third time. However, I now see I should have left it. If I was like that with a woman 100% they would have walked out on the date.

 

The thing is I'm also at fault. With that particular girl, I remember saying to her I was gonna kiss you goodbye, but you left the train pretty quickly. She said "yes the doors were about to close". Why would I have tried to kiss her when she was clearly uninterested..again I must've based it on the fact she kissed me on first date.

 

The girl who this thread about was more hot than cold, but she did show disinterest in the way she went from replying in 2 minutes to 5/6 hours. I should have taken the hint.

[Lotsgoingon]

Yeah, for many of us it takes practice to relax and not pursue people who aren't worth pursuing.

[SumGuy]

 

What I'm getting at is I don't want to waste time/resources on people who aren't interested..but it seems asking someone directly if they are interested isn't enough to get the truth.

Sadly it is hard to know until you go out with people.

If you ask someone directly you can get the truth, you can get a lie, you can get an i don;t know, and any one of those can change with time back and forth.

 

If I had a fun first date and a bad second date may well try a third to see if the second was an aberration or not. Others may figure forget it, this is single elimination time.

 

Mixed signals? Some may say forget, either they know or don't. Some may say it takes some time for people to figure it out, they are in the land of maybe for a 2 or 3 dates.

 

Even then, if someone says yes they are interested people do change their mind. I've found no correlation to definitive answers and consistency. All you know, if they are telling the truth, is in that moment they are sure.

 

Many people who are honest with themselves and others are not afraid to have doubts or that they are still deciding.

 

It just goes to show how difficult it is for me to act in certain way, when a lot of people on this thread have a different explanation. To me when she kissed me on three occasions, I thought that meant something. But as you said, now it may not. I don't want to kiss another girl or go on numerous dates if I'm not 100% sure that's what THEY want. I feel people are doing things they don't want to do and that doesn't benefit either of us.

 

I would assume most people who go on a date with you do want to do it. Although their level of enthusiasm may differ and change.

 

There are no guarantees, no one is going to give them to you, the level of certainty you seek just is not realistic. There is no guarantee up front, they can change their mind, you can put each other off as you get to know each other.

 

At least to me I can't see the counter factual except by arranged marriage.

 

It's almost like you want dating to be more like a business transaction, your interested in me, and I in you so lets do this. It's not.

Human romantic interactions of all things are messy, full of emotion, not logical, we are all trying to suss out the other whilst not exposing ourselves too much, they do not evolve or even begin through a set of clear cut rules no matter the millennia humans have bemoaned or praised this state.

 

This may sound odd, but perhaps reading poetry and the like will help you understand. Your questions are as old as written history, so feel in good company. However, since they still exist don't expect any answers, or at least ones you will like.

 

I've nothing more to offer you except good luck.

[basil67]

I think the reason I pursued both of them despite evidence of disinterest is that they both agreed to another date (third and fourth respectively) so I went between being 100% sure they weren't interested to 70% sure.

 

Thanks for clarifying about the different girls/dates/venues.

 

It's OK to ask them out again, but just make sure to do so with the knowledge that it's not likely that it will work out. Think of it as a last ditch effort. And that they are probably accepting as a last ditch effort too.

 

All in all though, it's probably better to just take notice of their actions and move on.

[Lamron300]

Thanks for clarifying about the different girls/dates/venues.

 

All in all though, it's probably better to just take notice of their actions and move on.

 

Yes, I think I need to be as ruthless as the people I'm dating. Apart from the girl who this thread is about, there have been girls who have said things to me/done things, that if it was the other way round they'd run 100 miles. A girl I went on two dates with in August told me on second date she wants kids within two years, I'd have to convert to catholicism etc. She then asked me to come to Sweden on holiday with her, not because we got along great but I guess just because she didn't want to go on her own. It isn't like she asked me before she booked it, she booked a flight and a hotel and then said do you want to come?. I told her no as 1) short notice and 2) I don't know her well. She then said who is more likely to kill who? I said that isn't the point. After going on holiday, she blanked me ( she was always annoying with her texting, would text me once a day at 11.59pm even from the day I met her). I then asked her why is she ignoring me? she laughed and said how are you? I said why is that funny? she didn't respond so I blocked her.

 

I asked in a playful way if I could kiss her on the second date and she said " I think its too early in our relationship" and made it awkward and walked away. The whole scenario confused me as I thought it wasn't too early to invite me to Sweden or to tell me she wants kids, but a kiss was? If I even asked a girl to come to my house on second date I'd probably get blocked, let alone Sweden.

 

The point I'm trying to make is I don't know why I accept behaviours that I clearly complain about and give people chances when I would never get the same chances. If I see disinterest I need to move on quicker.

 

The other girl who I liked around the time the girl who this thread is about rejected me, asked if I would agree to be friends. She probably had a good reason as she has a lot on at university/sick parent, but that was the case before she agreed to meet me, wasn't a new scenario. She said a lot of things on our date which showed she wasn't ready to date, I should have taken note of that...but she also was very enthusiastic about meeting again. I guess she weighed it up, but asking if I would agree to be friends is odd as a)why does it matter if I agree and b) she is just someone off online dating, why would I want to be friends? asking someone to be friends is disingenuous as it isn't like you will hang out together.

[Saracena]

OP I've read this whole thread (very interesting one) and agree with the very good advice about how changing your mindset and approach to dating can be a real benefit to how things should improve for yourfrom now on.

 

I'd just like to add one piece of advice. You mentioned you went on a date knowing the girl had already gone on one with another guy and you felt for some reason you may not measure up. Understandable to a degree but did it ever occur to you that perhaps that date was a disaster and she could well have preferred you?

 

I always believe it's best to enter all interactions with people in general, not just dates, with the mindset they are going to like you! Why wouldn't they? This more positive mindset (like confidence it can take a little practice at first but does pay off) will, in turn influence your actions (our thoughs are always reflected in our actions) with others resulting in a way more positive experience for all concerned, but for you in particular! A negative mindset. on the other hand only results in the exact opposite where you are, essentially self-sabotaging!

[Lamron300]

On 11/29/2019 at 3:33 AM, Saracena said:

I always believe it's best to enter all interactions with people in general, not just dates, with the mindset they are going to like you! Why wouldn't they? This more positive mindset (like confidence it can take a little practice at first but does pay off) will, in turn influence your actions (our thoughs are always reflected in our actions) with others resulting in a way more positive experience for all concerned, but for you in particular! A negative mindset. on the other hand only results in the exact opposite where you are, essentially self-sabotaging!

 

Thanks, yes it is good to be positive. It is hard right now, I have quit dating since this experience. My best friend has told me just today he has been on 7 dates with a girl and she says she likes him, but she still uses numerous dating apps. She also said to him after 6 dates that she hasn't been dating anyone else because she is busy, but when she does date someone else she will let him know. I don't understand that logic. Anyway he is asking me advice of what to do and I'm not in the best position to advise him. 

[TheFinalWord]

On 11/5/2019 at 8:59 AM, Lamron300 said:

I was nervous as I found her really attractive and we had spoken 24/7 on the phone, so I had more expectations than if we were going on a date one night after first talking.

 

Yes, I think I need to be as ruthless as the people I'm dating. Apart from the girl who this thread is about, there have been girls who have said things to me/done things, that if it was the other way round they'd run 100 miles.

 

Hi friend, ouch, I know these two experiences were a blow. I noticed a few things that might help you feel less invested in a woman that ultimately rejects you. The first is talking on the phone a lot. That is something I have done in the past too, so don't feel bad. But long phone calls and daily, constant contact is for girlfriends only. By keeping the contact to only the dates, you will feel a lot less attached to her as you won't have that regular contact. Even a month of talking on the phone/texting all day, it can feel like a major loss when that person is suddenly gone.

 

Regarding being ruthless, yes, I agree. Women have a natural abundance mindset. When they get on a dating app, even an average woman has 10x more matches than you. There are always more men to date! So, they don't get too worried. Men tend to come from a scarcity mindset. We don't usually get lots of matches, and a match with a really attractive woman can be very rare. This causes us to hold onto something that isn't that great or to come across needy for a woman that isn't really that great. You have to practice getting in the mindset that even if she is the only woman you are talking to, and may not date another high-quality woman for months, if she fails your tests (its important you have standards too), that you learn to cut it off. The first time I did this, it was really nerve racking. What if I don't have another match for quite some time? What if I don't have anyone to date for a few months ? Ultimately, I cut her off because it wasn't worth my dignity to accept her terrible attitude just because I was worried about a lack of options. After you start doing this, you feel much more empowered. It also helps you to build a much less needy personality. Women are very intuitive and they can tell when you are agreeing to things that they would never agree to if the situation was reversed. But when you come in with a "I will reject you" mindset, they pick up on this and your natural confidence will come across as attractive. The alternative is building something with a low-quality person. It's better to be alone than to deal with that. Have standards and don't let the fact that you may not have a lot of options prevent you from enforcing your standards.

 

Good luck buddy.

 

 

 

 

Edited December 10, 2019 by TheFinalWord

[Lamron300]

On 12/10/2019 at 7:10 AM, TheFinalWord said:

 

Hi friend, ouch, I know these two experiences were a blow. I noticed a few things that might help you feel less invested in a woman that ultimately rejects you. The first is talking on the phone a lot. That is something I have done in the past too, so don't feel bad. But long phone calls and daily, constant contact is for girlfriends only. By keeping the contact to only the dates, you will feel a lot less attached to her as you won't have that regular contact. Even a month of talking on the phone/texting all day, it can feel like a major loss when that person is suddenly gone.

 

 

 

Good luck buddy.

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks a lot. This is really great advice. That is exactly my issue. Since I date exclusively online, (I don't go clubbing anymore and my work is a male dominated industry) I always feel a lack of good options. I haven't used a dating app since this girl rejected me, in the time I haven't been online, only 5 women have liked my profile. Even an 'average' woman would have 100s of likes in a time she was offline. So like you said, when I meet a highly attractive girl off online dating, I get too nervous as it is rare. It is rare as you said as those kind of women tend not to use the apps seriously or are inundated with messages. When I used to go clubbing I'd meet attractive women all the time and have an instant connection. but not the relationship kind. 

 

I talked to this girl 24/7 and then when it came to dates, since I felt like we've talked about everything, I would sometimes feel like I'm repeating myself. However, I felt if I wasn't talking to her 24/7, other guys would be and I'd 'lose out'.