Girl rejected me after three dates and three kisses

[Lamron300]

Lamron, you are truly being hypersensitive. I

Also your non-response and blocking her (and others) when they are honest and respectful with you is unnecessary and immature--again shows your hypersensitive and tendency to be unrealistic and negative.

 

I agree with 90% of your other posts, but not this post. I very much doubt she suddenly got serious with this guy within 2/3 days of asking me on a date. Also, she deleted her profile and gave me her WhatsApp to contact her offline out of all the people she was speaking to. She surely didn't give everyone her WhatsApp?

 

My issue with this is that this is how I end up wasting my time. She asked me out twice, she suggested place and time. She went as far to give me her number and say, I don't use this app much now, here's my number. I've always wondered why I've gone on some dates, had a nice time and then the woman has become less responsive/flakey... probably reasons like this. They have another guy who they are seeing, but still, want to be going on dates.

 

All I want to do is to go on dates with people who are AVAILABLE, not people who aren't sure if they want a friend or are already with someone else. I'm glad if she has found someone, but wasting my time is a good enough reason to block someone.

[Lamron300]

You should not kiss people just to check it off the list. You should feel like you want to kiss the person before initiating. If you are kissing, very chaste kisses, just to do it, it is not a surprise there is no attraction. People can feel a “pity kiss” if you will.

 

I don’t think you have the right mindset for dating right now. Maybe take a break.

 

I didn't explain myself properly. When I feel an attraction to a woman and I feel like I've had a nice time, I like to try and kiss them. However, having a nice time doesn't always equate to the other person wanting to kiss, so I'm very cautious about it. 9/10 its the woman who initiates a kiss with me, I prefer it that way as it is safer as then you don't have an issue about consent. However, the flip side is some people say why didn't you kiss me then? and that makes me look unassertive.

 

I've had girls say 'next time' when at awkward moment at end of a date when you don't know to kiss or hug, but the same girls didn't want to meet again, so I feel people sometimes say things to diffuse a situation, which is fair enough but not my style.

[Lamron300]

I've had much worst happen to me and I'm still alive. I was seeing this girl for two months and booked a weekend away with her as a surprise,.costing me €1000 before she ended it.

 

Just dust yourself down and go again mate.

 

Advice; dont invest financially or emotionally until you hit the 10th date

 

Things like this make it hard to go again. I've just turned 26 and of course, I'm an adult, but I don't understand how you went through that without your personality significantly changing?

 

I hope you're joking about the 10th date thing haha. If I went on more than 4 dates with the same woman, I would consider it going steady. If someone changes their mind after 10 dates, it would feel like a relationship ended.

 

This girl I liked who rejected me, I tried to moderate my expectation but it was difficult. I said okay to try not put my eggs in a basket, I'll go on dates with two other women. As I said above, one decided she wanted to be friends and wasn't ready to date and the other one told me she is seeing someone else on the day we were supposed to date. I don't want to give my time to numerous people, but it seems you need to date 10 women to get one off OLD. I get a substantial amount of attention on OLD, but nothing worthwhile that has lasted.

 

I would prefer to date in real life, but nowadays when I ask my peers how they met their partner, it is usually on offline dating or through a friend.

[SJ1975]

If I went on more than 4 dates with the same woman, I would consider it going steady. If someone changes their mind after 10 dates, it would feel like a relationship ended.

 

You have much to learn my friend if you think you are going steady after 4 dates

[Lamron300]

You have much to learn my friend if you think you are going steady after 4 dates

 

I mean I guess it isn't nailed in stone. If you are seeing multiple people at the same time it isn't too bad. But I personally don't have the time to go on 10 dates with someone, without knowing the direction of the relationship (I made that mistake once, again being a 'nice guy').

 

2017, I was doing my master's degree. Met a woman off OLD, got into a quasi-relationship. I must have been dating her for over a month or so and I said I'll check her online dating profile to see if she still uses it. I brought it up, I can't remember how or why, but then she tried to lie and say her friends changed her profile and she doesn't use it. But I knew she was lying as the new 'selfie' she uploaded was the one she was going on about to me when I went to her house. She thought in person I was going to be really angry, but I was cool and calm, I didn't even bring it up till she dropped me home. I said the only reason I asked is that I don't want to waste my time and then she said she would delete the app. I said that isn't necessary you can do what you want, but I won't be an 'option'.

 

Long story short she got me to pay for everything, we didn't have sex in the whole relationship as she wouldn't be truthful with me. She had a mental health issue (I'm assuming as I found anti-depressants in her house whilst I was looking after her dogs) so she wouldn't even want to hug on the sofa. She also said we shouldn't meet up more than once a week as otherwise, we won't have anything to talk about in person. Although I had empathy (assuming I was right about her having an issue) I felt she wasn't being open enough and wasting my time. That's why I feel after a certain amount of dates I would want to know direction of the relationship. If they said they didn't know or wanted to be casual, I would politely wish them luck and leave.

[Lamron300]

I never thought I’d say this but you do need to escalate somewhat.

 

Hmmm, if you only kiss on the lips for each subsequent kiss, and if doesn’t escalate in a way to build tension, I can see your date assuming you aren’t that attracted. A kiss on the lips is a great place to start.

 

Now my head feels like it is going to explode. I wanted to kiss her very passionately and I felt very very attracted to her, but I wasn't sure what she was thinking. I'm 6ft 4 and she is 5ft 4 and she went for the kiss on lips (eyes opened each time, so it wasn't passionate) I should have done something different, in hindsight.

[lavenderandvelvet]

In one post OP, you complained about having spent a lot of money on dates and so on.

 

I have an idea that can help you with both cheaper first dates, and also meeting new people. Have you ever thought about joining a museum as a member?

 

Depending on the museum, it usually costs something like $100-$150 a year, you can bring a guest, unlimited visits, and they host special membership events and parties. Many museums also have a "younger people tier" because they want to get more people under 30 or 40 or whatever.

 

I personally love museum dates - you have instant stuff to talk about (the exhibit). You can also pivot to doing people watching and the like. And you can use the gift shop to play a get to know you game (e.g. if you could by one thing in here, what would you get and why). Most museums have nice spaces to enjoy as well.

 

Secondly, the museum events can be fun. I am a member at two local ones. The parties can have food, cocktails, and music. Depending on the museum size it can be free or paid. But it gives you a good special outing you'll have free admission to. And it is a social thing, you'll be able to connect with other people and chat in a lower stress environment. You already have one thing in common - appreciation of culture.

 

Anyway try it out. The worst thing that happens is you go to the museum and learn something new.

[Lamron300]

In one post OP, you complained about having spent a lot of money on dates and so on.

 

 

Anyway try it out. The worst thing that happens is you go to the museum and learn something new.

 

I think it is something I might have to try out, thanks for the good advice.

 

It is difficult as it is not that I spend money and regret it when the date doesn't work out, it is just hard doing an activity that is cheap. I spent £400 ($511) on dates last month. It is hard planning dates after the second date (ended up going for dinner twice, which I think killed the vibe) I would like to chill at home for a third date but it seems to early and can backfire if they think you have funny business planned.

 

I always offer to pay, I don't feel right about asking a girl to a certain restaurant and then them paying half. Most girls do offer to pay half. Never know how these things should go down, but I usually just pay. I often ask the girl where and when she wants to meet and adapt to it as I'm pretty flexible as nothing to do in my area.

 

I know a lot of people have suggested going on coffee dates, but in reality, most people go for alcoholic drinks at a bar/restaurant. If I go on 5 dates a month, it really adds up, part of the reason I don't want to waste my time. I don't mind going on a date and then it doesn't work out eventually, but don't want to go on dates with people who don't actually want to be there. It is a waste of time/money.

[lavenderandvelvet]

I use the Funcheap website when I need to pick an activity, I am sure there is a similar one for London. There are all sorts of different activities to do if you look. You are lucky and have access to a cosmopolitan city. There should be plenty of interesting and cheap things to do!

Edited November 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote removed

[SJ1975]

I would prefer to date in real life, but nowadays when I ask my peers how they met their partner, it is usually on offline dating or through a friend.

 

Date in real life? How do you mean?

 

FYI: I'm dating this woman right now and I'm expecting to be blown out. We've met up 5, 6 or 7 times and I know I'm on rocky waters. It's nothing to do with me, but what page in life she is on. Time will tell I guess.

Edited November 13, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quote edited

[Versacehottie]

You should not kiss people just to check it off the list. You should feel like you want to kiss the person before initiating. If you are kissing, very chaste kisses, just to do it, it is not a surprise there is no attraction. People can feel a “pity kiss” if you will.

 

I don’t think you have the right mindset for dating right now. Maybe take a break.

 

Ditto what was said above ^^^. Also people can feel a guy (or girl I suppose) with an agenda to check off some level of physicality on the list. If you don't do it tied to a moment or a feeling, you are failing for the long run IMO.

[Versacehottie]

I agree with 90% of your other posts, but not this post. I very much doubt she suddenly got serious with this guy within 2/3 days of asking me on a date.

 

My issue with this is that this is how I end up wasting my time.

 

Lol, well respectfully appreciate what you said and we can agree to disagree. I don't think she necessarily "got serious". I can't remember if I said that exactly but I do think maybe they agreed to just date each other or that it got serious enough on her end where without a discussion with him she'd made her decision just to pursue him and he was the front leader out of whoever else she was dating, including you. Um, idk, how many girl conversations have you sat in about this kind of stuff?? Me, um literally thousands. I don't know, it's how things work for a lot of us, which to be fair, guessing it happens to a lot of guys that way too. At some point, one person stands out above the others. It can also be happening that way because at the same time, whatever you were showing caused her to lose interest. It doesn't matter if she previously had been the one "pursuing you" by giving you her contact and asking you out. So you made the Whatsapp list? And? So? You made the short list cut but not the final cut.

 

Um the other possibility is that she made up the other guy because she is not interested in you. This one is a classic though usually just after in person flirting or when you ask for her contact details. He may not exist and she just wasn't interested in you. Sorry. Girls do tend to make up "another guy" whereas guys make up excuses "busy, sick, life emergencies". At least we generally finalize it by making up another guy. Guys that make excuses generally just leave girls confused and kick the can down the road in case they want to pick her back up.

 

When you say they "want to still go on dates", you are actually talking about the minority of girls. Those who are in effect using you to fill their time and for you to entertain them and free dinners. The majority of girls do not have those intentions. I've gotten subtle undertones that you feel taken advantage of financially and definitely of your time. You will need to reduce the amount you spend to be more comfortable with paying for the uncertainty. You can also switch it up so you are not the only one paying. In fact, if you want to see if a girl likes you, keep contacting after the second date but don't ask her out and if she likes you she will probably ask you out and then she can pay or at least you can split. As far as time wasting--we aren't going to agree at all on this. There is no real way around this as DATING ITSELF is a process of discovery. One MUST SPEND TIME. As a guy with a masters, I would think you would understand these types of concepts. Maybe you are too book smart/literal?? Have seen shades of that tbh and think it's one thing that is why girls aren't having as much fun with you as they should. It's all a little heavy, sorry Anyway, you can get more efficient by screening them better before you ever go out the first time. I think however in the course of your posts here that might just get you MORE frustrated--like you will think you've done a lot to screen them, have everything lined up perfectly and then still for whatever reason it fails. Your head will explode (my guess). Is your masters in science by chance? If so, that makes sense: dating is a dash of science but a lot of art, meaning there is no rhyme or reason or definite formula one can follow. You are just going to have to get comfortable with the uncertainty, risk and "wasted time". I think the less resentful you feel about it, the better your personality will come off on the dates. You're 6'4"--right now there are probably several guys in line to trade places for that height and I have a bunch of girlfriends where that is their number one physical trait they are looking for. It could be much worse--start behaving like you are the sh*t and a few dates are not what get your panties in a bunch.

 

This will really make your head explode but I know girls who decide on first or second date that the main thing about a guy that is to their liking is his physical attractiveness and so they will kiss him but they don't see him as boyfriend material; don't like his personality much, ambition, life goals, interests, like just can't see themselves with the guy. One friend actually specifically made out with a guy to shut him up because what he was saying was not interesting to her but she didn't mind how he looked & kissed. Was not going to go out with him again because of the things he SAID on the date though saw no reason to have a bad time--money or getting a free dinner had nothing to do with it. That was first or second date to my recollection. She went on the date because she was genuinely interested and open--until she wasn't. Specfically due to the more she heard about his interests and lifestyle and goals.

 

I was thinking in your case: why is it so hard for you to think of dates? What do you do for fun, with friends or for yourself? Try to incorporate some of that into what you would take a date to do. I think girls like to learn about what their dates are into, something you are enthusiastic about, feel good and comfortable about doing, where you are more of the expert. Also perhaps you will see it as less of a waste of your time and money, if you were doing something you find enjoyable inherently? Perhaps think of your date as a companion to whatever you would be otherwise doing. I mean unless you hate socializing in which case you need to work on that as well as it is probably part of the reason you have fading interest along the way with your dating. Good luck

Edited November 13, 2019 by Versacehottie

[stillafool]

I've always wondered why I've gone on some dates, had a nice time and then the woman has become less responsive/flakey... probably reasons like this. They have another guy who they are seeing, but still, want to be going on dates.

 

All I want to do is to go on dates with people who are AVAILABLE, not people who aren't sure if they want a friend or are already with someone else.

 

I hate to say this but maybe lower your standards a bit. If you are choosing really good looking women to date just know that they pretty much always have someone waiting in the wings. They may be available for a week but that's it. Try dating women who haven't been on a date in 6 months.

[Lamron300]

I hate to say this but maybe lower your standards a bit. Try dating women who haven't been on a date in 6 months.

 

What kind of man lowers his standards? I don't think I'd be able to do that.

[Lamron300]

As a guy with a masters, I would think you would understand these types of concepts. Maybe you are too book smart/literal?? Have seen shades of that tbh and think it's one thing that is why girls aren't having as much fun with you as they should. It's all a little heavy, sorry :(/QUOTE]

 

A lot of assumptions in this post, which are all wrong. No, my masters isn't in science and no I'm not some sort of geek.

 

I do take your point that dating is about spending time, so 'wasting time' isn't too valid. I need to go on fewer dates and screen people more, that I can agree on.

 

It is nearly December and I'm very busy with work till the New year. I don't want to make an effort and travelling for dates if people aren't sure what they want, which I feel has happened a lot. I think you give the benefit of the doubt too much to these people, some people just like attention and that's why they are on apps.

 

Your posts seem to allude to the fact that there always has to be something I said or didn't say to make people lose interest. I disagree as there is no magical words people say. A lot of girls agree to stuff they don't want to do, for whatever reason. Not so much a change of mind, they had their mind made up already. A woman I once dated off an app went quiet for 2 months after matching and said sorry she was busy with work. When we started dating she admitted she got back to me slow as she got back with her ex, then broke up again. I've also had two girls contact me out of the blue and think they can just start chatting to me again. One girl arranged a date with me, made a joke and said I like you as you're the only person who hasn't sent me a rude picture or stopped talking to me.. I said jokingly hahah that was my next move! she didn't respond for 2/3 months and then started a convo like everything was cool. Obviously, I ignored her. Had a date with a girl, which as I said above was awful, she just did shopping and then went home and I had 90-minute journey back home. 4 months later she texts me asking why I didn't talk to her after the date.

 

My friend tried to cheer me up yesterday and said you're a good lucking guy, you have a great job...there is lot of girls out there. There is a lot of girls out there but most 'attractive' on OLD don't take it seriously. I've had a female friend who doesn't consider herself attractive at all say she is only on online dating as she is too busy to meet people in real life. In my age group I feel its looked down on to be on dating sites, hence why people don't take them seriously. The girl who rejected me seemed rare, that's why I felt more nervous than I should have and I guess it showed.

Edited November 13, 2019 by Lamron300

[Lamron300]

Date in real life? How do you mean?

 

FYI: I'm dating this woman right now and I'm expecting to be blown out. We've met up 5, 6 or 7 times and I know I'm on rocky waters. It's nothing to do with me, but what page in life she is on. Time will tell I guess.

 

Meet people in real life events, even clubbing seems better than OLD.

 

Why do you expect her to blow you out? At least you're positive about it.

[The Outlaw]

Been nearly a week since she rejected me and my mood hasn't improved at all. It isn't the first time I've been rejected, but for some reason probably the most painful. I genuinely thought we were compatible and something would have come of it. I haven't even been able to look at a dating app or thinking about dating since then.

 

Some rejections are just harder to recover from, but just give yourself time. In the dating world or search for a potential partner, it's always best as I've found to remain optimistic but don't get your hopes up. It made it much easier for me when I felt the same way you do now. While it hurts, it's best she did it now before it really had the chance to take off. It'd been much worse then.

[Versacehottie]

 

A lot of assumptions in this post, which are all wrong. No, my masters isn't in science and no I'm not some sort of geek.

 

I do take your point that dating is about spending time, so 'wasting time' isn't too valid. I need to go on fewer dates and screen people more, that I can agree on.

 

I think you give the benefit of the doubt too much to these people, some people just like attention and that's why they are on apps.

 

Your posts seem to allude to the fact that there always has to be something I said or didn't say to make people lose interest. I disagree as there is no magical words people say.

 

Well, it seems like you have lots of the answers to all the plausibilities I put forth, I don't see why you are here seeking information or starting threads unless it's just to complain. Plus something isn't working on your end perfectly otherwise you wouldn't be single--sorry, it's just the truth.

 

On OLD and apps being extremely dismissive overall and no real need for them if you have a good social life and are good looking/successful etc, I totally agree with that & don't know why you are even going down that path unless the dating via social circles and going out is not working for you. I agree that good looking girls are pretty dismissive on the dating apps but once you get them out on a date, they actually are more open to truly being interested in you so again there something is not working. I don't say always btw--I try not to answer in absolutes since there are a variety of things at play. That said, I think you can take the constructive criticism and self-evaluate things on your end that you may be doing. At the same time, I've tried to give you explanations that are totally nothing you are doing wrong but have to do with the other person, i.e. your dates so that you can understand this is just dating culture, happens to lots of people and not let it bring you down where you are in a negative place--because then it is a vicious cycle where having those thoughts & attitude does mess with your dating success from your end.

 

Bolded is just wrong. It's not just one word, though it may be--more than likely it's the general vibe people are getting. However, it's still a numbers game. Not everyone is going to click with you and vice versa.

Ok well good luck.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Versacehottie

[Lamron300]

Some rejections are just harder to recover from, but just give yourself time. In the dating world or search for a potential partner, it's always best as I've found to remain optimistic but don't get your hopes up. It made it much easier for me when I felt the same way you do now. While it hurts, it's best she did it now before it really had the chance to take off. It'd been much worse then.

 

I guess so, I probably knew her for a month in total. I had a nap earlier and in my dream, I was still talking to her on good terms. Weird dream. I am finding it hard to cheer myself up and thinking over what went wrong. You're right that its better she said sooner than later, but I still feel from some of her words she could have said it sooner.

 

A similar thing happened in May. Had a great time with a girl, she initiated kiss on first date and seemed to be enthusiastic. Almost immediately the next day or few days later she seemed completely different on text. The day before our second date she didn't respond till 9.30pm and was just to ask 'when are we meeting? in a blunt tone. On the actual date she was basically silent, didn't seem interested in being there. I actually asked her if she's okay or tired, she said no. Despite this we arranged a third date. I again asked her on text why she was quite, she said she had a good time the restaurant (she chose) was too noisy and said she looked forward to making sushi with me on third date. She then began to ignore me, till days later I asked if something is wrong? she said she has been thinking and doesn't feel quite right about this and doesn't want to go on anymore dates. I said okay naturally I'm disappointed, but thanks for telling me now. She then blocked me.

 

Thats my main gripe with people, she had a great opportunity to say she wasn't interested, yet chose to come on 2nd date, be silent...even disagree with the notion she didn't have fun and make a reason for being silent and not only agree to third date, but say she was looking forward to it!

[Lamron300]

 

Bolded is just wrong. It's not just one word, though it may be--more than likely it's the general vibe people are getting. However, it's still a numbers game. Not everyone is going to click with you and vice versa.

Ok well good luck.

 

Obviously I understand you can only give your interpretation based on the information I have provided. Some points you made were very valid, others were assumptions, which were wrong.

 

I read an article on 'why you're still single' relying on online dating was in the top 10 reasons. It isn't a great method, not for myself anyway...yet I do it because of its convenience. I don't work in the city anymore and my industry is male-dominated, so the chances of me meeting anyone through work are slim to none. When I go to the gym, I'm there to work out and I couldn't imagine approaching a woman out of anywhere. I don't think I would go to a 'singles' event, as most people my age would feel embarrassed by that, so I doubt I'd meet anyone in my age group.

 

My main contention with your points is that I feel like you're saying I must have said something or did something for these people to lose interest. Like I said in my post above when something similar happened in May, the girl didn't seem even interested on being on the second date. When I politely asked if anything was wrong she went out of her way to say no, it was just noisy and that she had a GREAT time and looked forward to the third date. Clearly, after kissing me on first date, something seemed to change and her energy was completely different and negative towards me. My mistake is maybe I need to use more initiative and just stop talking to people when I feel they aren't honest enough to say what they are thinking.

 

It didn't surprise me when the girl who just rejected me rejected me. She had gone from replying in 5 minutes to 5 hours. She was blunt and seemed uninterested...yet still said things which made me think she might be interested. If I felt something was wrong I should've just stopped speaking. Like I said to her, I don't like the fact she was doing things she clearly didn't want to do, it doesn't benefit me at all.

 

I do agree with you that not everyone is going to 'click' with you, I usually go on dates with people I have got on extremely well with over text and so I seem to already have a soft spot for them before the meeting. This does lead to disappointment. I remember going on two dates with someone a few months ago, the first date was good, she said I look even better in real life than in my photos. Second date we went to the cinema and then a restaurant of her choice. We just talked the same as we did on first date..yet after the night of the date, she never messaged me again. I wasn't hurt by this as I know it is very usual for OLD for that to happen, but I do wonder why.

Edited November 14, 2019 by Lamron300

[Versacehottie]

Obviously I understand you can only give your interpretation based on the information I have provided. Some points you made were very valid, others were assumptions, which were wrong.

 

but I do wonder why.

 

You are part of the equation, not the ONLY part but part of it.

 

YOU + HER = SUCCESS OR NOT SUCCESS

 

Until you get that concept, and work to optimize your end of it, your explanations etc are just becoming excuses and complaining. It feels like you are being blind to the fact that some of what you contribute to these interactions affects the results.

[Lamron300]

You are part of the equation, not the ONLY part but part of it.

 

YOU + HER = SUCCESS OR NOT SUCCESS

 

Until you get that concept, and work to optimize your end of it, your explanations etc are just becoming excuses and complaining. It feels like you are being blind to the fact that some of what you contribute to these interactions affects the results.

 

I do understand that concept. This thread has brought up some legitimate points and behaviors which might have come across negatively. What I don't understand is why people who have clearly made their mind up continue to lead me on.

 

I wouldn't start a thread on someone who I went on one date with and who I never heard back from, as that is very common. I feel my situations always go on longer than they need to and I feel the notion I'm getting is there is always a valid reason for something I must have done/said or portrayed, where sometimes it really is a 360 from their point. Like I said before this whole siutation, a girl asked me on date, girl kissed me on date, second date she was completley quiet and yet agreed to third date and even denied the reason she was quiet...then ignored me and then finally when I asked her if I've said anything she says she isn't feeling it and blocks me!

 

This most recent girl I got along with her very well, but was way too nervy and always needed confirmation (a negative as I now know) but from her words/actions I didn't feel we didn't 'click' but as you say it needs to people for things to work.

 

I'm taking time away from dating to reflect on the last few months of dating and to reassess my strategy. Yes I do have some anger/bitterness at what I perceive to be a waste of my time/resources, but I think most people would be as well.

 

Success is relative to people, some of my friends are just happy to have a date or to get replied to online. I'm relatively success by that measure as I get asked on dates and get matches, but they don't go anywhere.

[Versacehottie]

if you have consider some of the points legitimate in this thread, one of the ones you need to grasp and understand is that as you've described it: none of these women lead you on. You take it that way though and I'm telling you your view on that is skewed and highly sensitive and unrealistic. To me, that's what you need to work on the most. Also that there must be something you are doing (not completely you but partly of course), where your personality or lifestyle is turning them off. Sorry it's just the case. If you are good looking enough to get a girl talking to you and out on date one, even date two, then the most logical conclusion is that the girls aren't enjoying their connection with you or something about your personality or lifestyle. Again, not wholly that as a reason but I vote for partly, in part because of what i've seen on this thread. It's not fun, sorry

 

Try to be more fun. Ok good luck

[Lamron300]

If you are good looking enough to get a girl talking to you and out on date one, even date two, then the most logical conclusion is that the girls aren't enjoying their connection with you or something about your personality or lifestyle. Again, not wholly that as a reason but I vote for partly, in part because of what i've seen on this thread. It's not fun, sorry

 

Try to be more fun. Ok good luck

 

More wrong assumptions and patronising tone:(

[SumGuy]

I don’t agree the tone is patronizing, maybe frustrated and strident. I don’t think the assumption is wrong something turned them off, clearly something did or you wouldn’t be here.

 

However I do think there is an assumption there is something off with you. Could be, you should be open to that, or maybe not. Could just be you are not their type personality wise. All that means is you should try to get better at finding women who are more your type.

 

I will reiterate from my view and what you’ve posted no one led you on. It’s my opinion that the thought and feeling process that would lead you to such a conclusion is detrimental to dating success. Being able to see and feel that they did not lead you on will stand you in good stead in my opinion