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Posted

I have been thinking about my over 1 year relationship. My boyfriend can me really cruel sometimes. He comments other people all the time. Only today in Ikea he commented a kid that his face looks like a monkey, a girl - that she is fat and who will want to touch her even. I saw a girl with a funny jacket and I told him I will get the same and he said to me : You will sleep on a balcony then. I said : but you don't have a balcony. He said : exactly (we don't live together). He can comment : Yes, with the face she had I'm not surprised. Or " I wonder how much sausage this woman had to eat to look like that". When we went in Ikea restaurant he told me I must go in the middle on queque and take cake because we won't wait. I feel like he always has to have everything first, be the fastest, not waste time. He doesn't mind cheating people and taking 2 bags in a restaurant although only one is his ...

He tell me I'm using too much water (I come only for the weekends to his place and it's only me who pays for train tickets because I live with my parents. Recenlty I lost my student status and he seemed like he didnt really care that now I pay double more. I sometimes bake for him and so).

He told me I'm loud, I put light on when he sleeps ( I was taking a bath) he is annoyed by how I eat. He told me I squat like a duck, that If I would be driving a scooter It will be dangerous for others because I will create accidents. I'm drinking water with lemon and curcuma and he told me when I told him I have a sore throat : Yeah so go drink your water, it will help you for sure. He told me I looked retarted when I was thinking about something. Also when I couldn't say something and I hesitated he was laughing and saying ""eeee aaa yyyy " imitating me, that I can not put words together porperly. Please adivce me what to do.

 

I feel like he has always double shot - one with " My beautiful girlfriend" and second one telling me to put chopstick because my lips are dry. Or so. I don't know if it's taking care of me or just making me do what he wants.

Posted

He sounds like a jerk who is tearing you down to make himself feel better.

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Posted

Why are you even with this miserable little punk?

  • Like 4
Posted

Well, he sounds charming :sick:

 

Why on earth are you still dating him? He IS mean and it makes him feel better about himself to tear down other people.

 

He is already verbally abusing you, so please just get away from him. He's awful! Don't let him tell you you can't take a joke either. If it came out of his mouth, it was in this head first.

  • Like 3
Posted

Break up with him.

 

He's superficial, impatient & cruel. He's being judgmental & mean toward people. He's not nice to you.

 

A good relationship makes everything better. Your partner should elevate you & be your biggest cheerleader.

 

There is no good reason to stay with this guy. He is not a catch. You can do better.

 

Get rid of him & use your free time to build up your self esteem.

  • Like 3
Posted

He's just a d*bag. Plain and simple. Kick him to the curb.

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Posted

He sounds abusive to me. He verbally insults you.

 

He insults others and is rude about them.

 

He complains about what you do and about using his water.

 

He has zero consideration for you.

 

He does not seem to know what empathy is and I doubt he has any.

 

Empathy matters. You need to dump any guy who does not have empathy or you will regret it.

  • Like 1
Posted

You don't have to be with anyone who makes you feel miserable (I know only some of it is directed at you, but it all still affects you), so don't.

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Posted

The point of a relationship is to get with someone who treats you really good.

 

This guy is the opposite.

 

Dump him!

 

What's taking you so long?

  • Like 1
Posted

You need to dump him ASAP ! He is an arrogant toxic narcissist ... he has nothing nice to say because he is obviously "perfect". He was possibly verbally abused by his parents through his whole life, this is all he saw growing up, ended up with a low self-esteem and compensates by lashing out. It is sad but also aggravating. You could tell him to start to self reflect on how he talks/behaves, tell him that it is unacceptable and repulsing, he needs to change. ..... I would not date him, if I were you. He drains the life force out of you. Date kind and caring people. Best wishes ! <3

Posted

i believe a guy who makes you see the beauty in you and in the world is what you really really should have.,.....who sees beauty in the weird ....the strange and unusual.....who can make you feel better when you feel bad and who makes you feel complete and happy..and the same for him in return...he sounds like an unhappy guy....hence him being with you doesnt make him happy or abetter peoples.....do you feel any of that....see any of that.goodness or happiness describe the last time you felt or see good come out of his mouth......if the answer is no or its very rare for you to feel happy or see him actually happy with you and the world around him..or fo ryou to feel the beauty and the good in you and in others.......this guy you are with....is not your person.....deb

  • Author
Posted

Thank you for all your lovely messages. I really appreciate this, I needed to see point of view of people, who are not involved in this. I'm stuck because relationship with him is ups and downs. I know that nobody is perfect and no relationship is perfect and that's what is keeping me from breaking up - I think that maybe I expect prince that doesn't exist, that there is no perfect man. That maybe I should accept his flaws. I think that I'm just too sensitive and I will be that sensitive with everybody else. But on the other hand this is first person in my life who is getting annoyed by such things, really small things. I'm scared of moving out with him because it will be a big step and I will have no option to run away (like now we meet only on weekends). Our trips also get me thinking because after going on trips that lasted no more than 4 days I wanted to go home already. He also tells me one day that it's good to have me with him but later he the other day he tells me finally he will have his bed for himself... After when I go home I have feeling of missing him and thinking maybe it's just me, maybe I shoud let things go more easily. I'm really stuck. On one hand I have never meet such a person in my life who is making comments like this on me and others but on the other hand I don't know if it's just me, maybe I get offended too easily.

 

PS thank you for reading my long posts :)

  • Like 1
Posted

A common thing is for abuse victims to blame themselves, and that's because abusers will try to make you feel that way.

 

You are not overly sensitive -- he IS -- in a BAD way.

 

A boyfriend should make you happier and feel better and be FUN! There is just no reason to keep someone in your life who makes you miserable! You only have one life. Choose someone nice!

  • Like 1
Posted

Nobody is perfect but that doesn't mean you have to settle for cruel and abusive behavior. This guy is a tool, a d-bag, a jerk and a bully. Leave him immediately and look for someone who respects you (and others).

Posted (edited)

He is a miserable person who projects his self loathing onto everyone else to own and carry. I'll bet he wouldn't say any of that mess to their faces, though, right? He knows he'd get the beat down of his life--that's why he says it to you--because you'll stick around and take it off of him and keep coming back.

 

The real question is: why do you subject yourself to his constant abuse?

 

You're right: nobody is perfect, but lack of perfection doesn't equal being a cowardly jerk who's too afraid to say that mess to the people he's disparaging. Imperfect people abound who have a far better self acceptance than he does and you need to find a guy who demonstrates this, not this cretin.

 

 

On one hand I have never meet such a person in my life who is making comments like this on me and others but on the other hand I don't know if it's just me, maybe I get offended too easily.

 

 

No--your reaction is exactly normal and what any person with a healthy sense of self would feel. What he is saying is offensive in the extreme.

Edited by kendahke
  • Like 1
  • 3 weeks later...
  • Author
Posted

Thank you ALL ! I read all your comments. I have been thinking about it for a long time. I haven't seen my bf for a while because he went to his home country for documents he needs. He texts me, sends pics. He even invited me for New Years Eve to his home town and organized tickets. The thing that is worrying me is that I was always seeing man in relationships adding other girls on instagram. We are 1,5 year in relationship and just around 2 weeks ago he started to add girls. Not models or so. Just normal girls.

 

I feel like everything is tearing apart now. I don't think he is cheating, I think he just adds them. But yesterday he told me he is going to play games and then go to sleep cause he is tired. But at 2 am he followed a girl on his instagram account.

 

I feel like all things I was appreciating about him start to disappear. What do you think? Am I too jealous and crazy? I know men are visual creatures but I feel like I'm not enough, that he needs to follow other girls and like their pics.

Posted

Girl you need to get out now. Of course he is interested in other girls. Why would he add random girls on instagram at 2am..hmmm are you following random guys (non celebs) to your instagram at 2am ?

 

He is not appreciating you and clearly is walking all over you.

I have been in this position and trust me on this one GET OUT now, because he is going to waste so much of your time and probbaly hurt you really bad emotionally once he does cheat...he is clearly overstepping boundaries for you already and you are allowing it because you are emotionally invested.

 

He sounds like a miserable human. There are billions of people on this planet, find one that makes you happy and doesnt treat you and others like garbage.

Posted

Your boyfriend is a jackass. He doesn’t deserve you.

 

I have never treated any girl like your boyfriend has treated you.

 

The asshat that you see when he talks about others is who he really is. Can you really stay with someone like that long term?

 

The fact that he has no problems with cheaters should in it self tell you something. That he could be cheating on you during the week.

 

No relationship is perfect but really. Do you have such low self-esteem that you are settling for him?

 

You sound bright and intelligent, you deserve better them your current asshat of a boyfriend.

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