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How long to wait for him to ask you on a first date?

Hannahhawks87

By Hannahhawks87
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Hannahhawks87 Member

Hannahhawks87

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We met on a dating site and we started talking beginning of September. We have been text nearly everyday since we matched. He told me he spilt with his ex 6 months ago. We get on amazingly have have some naughty text messages. I'm just wondering how much longer shall I wait for him to ask me on a first date?

dramallama Established Member

dramallama

Posted
Posted

Ooh, he should have asked you within the first week, in my opinion. 2 months of texting is a penpal.

 

 

 

I've got one of those, he started texting me in July (not every day but often) but we disagree on so many huge things (politics, religion) that it's obvious we're not a match and I was very surprised when he suddenly asked me to go to salsa with him in late Sept!

 

 

 

I told him I had started seeing someone and he said that he enjoyed our conversations and would like to continue them anyway, and actually we do have great debate, so now I have an interesting penpal who shares his dating adventures with me :lmao:

 

 

With your guy, perhaps he had something else going on and you're the backburner girl?

  • Like 1
Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
We met on a dating site and we started talking beginning of September. We have been text nearly everyday since we matched. He told me he spilt with his ex 6 months ago. We get on amazingly have have some naughty text messages. I'm just wondering how much longer shall I wait for him to ask me on a first date?

 

 

Everything in here is wrong.

 

 

 

  • The guy tells you he broke up from his ex 6 months ago you dump him.
  • The guy doesn't meet you within 7 days you dump him.
  • The guy sends you naughty text before meeting you, you dump him.

You've been chatting for 2 full months, he will never offer you to meet, he's probably not single.

  • Like 4
ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

Posted
Posted
We get on amazingly have have some naughty text messages.

 

I would reel that way in.

 

You have never met him. A guy who is serious about dating would have asked to meet you by now. A guy who just wants a virtual sexting buddy will behave, well, like he's behaving now. I wouldn't be giving up the goods for a man I have never met in person.

 

A month of talking is too long, barring some unusual extenuating circumstance.

  • Like 1
stillafool Established Member

stillafool

Posted
Posted

I would be gone by now. You've been waiting for 2 months for him to ask you out?

Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

Posted
Posted
Everything in here is wrong.

 

 

 

  • The guy tells you he broke up from his ex 6 months ago you dump him.
  • The guy doesn't meet you within 7 days you dump him.
  • The guy sends you naughty text before meeting you, you dump him.

You've been chatting for 2 full months, he will never offer you to meet, he's probably not single.

Completely agree.

 

You are wasting your time waiting - drop him and stop talking to him (I mean who sends 'naughty' messages to someone they have never met, that's so cringe and embarrassing) and find yourself a real man who is ready for a relationship. Cos this guy is NOT.

  • Like 1
Ruby Slippers Established Member

Ruby Slippers

Posted
Posted
Everything in here is wrong.

 

  • The guy tells you he broke up from his ex 6 months ago you dump him.
  • The guy doesn't meet you within 7 days you dump him.
  • The guy sends you naughty text before meeting you, you dump him.

You've been chatting for 2 full months, he will never offer you to meet, he's probably not single.

I agree, for the most part. I think #1 depends on how long the relationship was. I ended something 6 months ago, but we had only been together 5 months off and on.

 

But #2 and #3, absolutely.

 

I only meet a man if he messages and we click, he quickly progresses to a phone call and we click, and he then quickly progresses to asking me out. If that doesn't happen, and I get these straggler texts from him later (when they have nothing else going on, bored), I delete and ignore. Any sexual references or hints and I delete and block immediately.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

Off a dating site you should have met within the 1st week or 2. You have already exceeded the waiting period by at least 6 weeks.

 

Talking everyday to a man you have never met who is not doing anything to advance the relationship is a colossal waste of time.

 

Naughty text messages before meeting is a sure fire way to get the guy to only be interested in a ONS.

Trail Blazer Established Member

Trail Blazer

Posted
Posted
Everything in here is wrong.

 

The guy tells you he broke up from his ex 6 months ago you dump him.

How long must one be broken up for before it's not considered wrong, according to you?
Versacehottie Established Member

Versacehottie

Posted
Posted

I think if you look at his actions what he seems to be after is not dating but a friend and some sexting. Think about it. This, i.e. you, could be a placeholder until he is ready to date and he's already not treating you that great or like your time matters considering you met on a dating site. You should keep HIM on the back burner, stop the sexting and date other guys who will actually meet up and take you out. Just pull back and see what he does and make real effort with other people. Good luck

Gaeta Established Member

Gaeta

Posted
Posted
How long must one be broken up for before it's not considered wrong, according to you?

 

 

As per psychologist the rule of thumb is 25% of the relationship length. If you dated 4 years than take a break of 1 year. If you dated 6 months then take a break of 6-8 weeks.

alphamale Established Member

alphamale

Posted
Posted

if I meet a girl I like I will generally ask her out within 10 days at the latest. Usually I will ask her out 2-3 days after meeting her...

Lucovit Member

Lucovit

Posted
Posted (edited)
We met on a dating site and we started talking beginning of September. We have been text nearly everyday since we matched. He told me he spilt with his ex 6 months ago. We get on amazingly have have some naughty text messages. I'm just wondering how much longer shall I wait for him to ask me on a first date?

 

Although I kinda agree with most messages here, there is still the option this guy is shy and does not really dare to take the text (in real life) step.

 

I know this might sound weird, but some people are just scared to ask "the question". Some also because they are still not sure.

That you have some naught text messages might indeed indicate he is just after that, but not for 100% sure. It might just be that you have had good conversations, and one thing led to another.

 

If you really still like this guy, just be blunt as ask him if he is ever going to ask you out. If you feel you should not do this (as you are a girl and perhaps feel the man has to), you can somehow jokingly mention it next time e.g. "look at us here, sending this type of messages and we have not even gone on a data haha".

And see how he reacts.

 

Reason why I am saying this: I am the type of guy that doesn't (or didn't) dare to ask that question.

I still have problems hooking up with girls or be smooth and ask for a date.

 

Just to give an example about my experience: I chatted with a girl for almost 3 months (I never asked her out during that 3 months, I was never sure if she wanted to.... at a certain time, after 1 month, she asked me to go to a bar with her. I said no... and 1 month later she even invited me to her place(!!) and still I did not get the message) until she kinda made clear she lost her patience and was not interested anymore....

I missed a huge opportunity there because I kept overthinking this and wondering whether she was interested in my for more than just "friends". If I could turn back time...

 

 

Not every guy out there is a creep, after a ONS or something like that.

 

The 6 month stuff about breaking up and the 25% rule is bull****.

So do not focus on that.

 

 

if I meet a girl I like I will generally ask her out within 10 days at the latest. Usually I will ask her out 2-3 days after meeting her...

 

Great for you, but not everyone is that "fast" or good with girls.

 

As per psychologist the rule of thumb is 25% of the relationship length. If you dated 4 years than take a break of 1 year. If you dated 6 months then take a break of 6-8 weeks.

 

where did you read this? In cosmo? lol

 

There is no consensus on that.

Two recent studies put the mark at 11 weeks or even over a year for a divorce, irrespective of the actual time they were together. (of course, short relationships <6 months excluded).

Edited by Lucovit
Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
Posted

Quit the texting ... texting is a waste of time and energy ... and time after time on this board, people come here talking about intense and frequent texting ... leading to nothing.

 

Text once ... and then set up a meeting or let him set up a meeting.

 

Two months of texting, that's just a waste of your energy. Texting is addictive and a perfect way to procrastinate and show off your wit. Has nothing to do with starting to date.

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