Author Arthur89 Posted November 4, 2019 Author Posted November 4, 2019 How many messages did you send? 3 but it is what it is.
Twizzlestick Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 A lot of red herrings in this. All what you said - red herrings. That is by the by (for future reference sending a message like that too quickly will blow it with someone else who IS still interested, but in this instance it was by the by) Lost phone? Possible tosh. I’m going with absolute tosh myself. Yes these things happen of course, but they’re followed by certain behaviours when people are dating someone they’re interested. Might be truthful. However, if keen she would’ve texted you the min she got the phone back. Sounds like a quick fire intense thing and she changed her mind. All firing a terse message off has done is land yourself all full of remorse that this short rele tanking - triangulated solely around your act of sending “that” message. I bet even if you’d sat on your hands you’d still not be having a wonderful date with her. Sounds like she bailed. For future reference follow advice from others on sending terse messages. It will tank anything with someone who is keen. In this instance though you could’ve sent anything and she’d still not be fussed. I bet my hat.
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 neither did i express anger in my messages. I didnt accuse her of anything either. And again I beg to differ, let's look at it: I dont understand why she cant send me a single message to tell me our date is canceled.Here you assume and accuse her she is not sending you messages on purpose. that im dissapointed by her behavior etc Here again you assume and accuse her of ignoring you on purpose that I would have understood if she didnt want to see me again for whatever reason Here again you assume and accuse her of not wanting to see you again. but not if she goes silent like this.. and finally you assume and accuse her again of going silent on you on purpose. . 1
d0nnivain Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 3 messages isn't that terrible in the grand scheme & you are allowed to be annoyed by her behavior. As somebody else pointed out, even if she lost her phone there are ways to get in touch. Your reaction was valid; your expression of it was not. The tone of your messages were nasty. You never gave her the benefit of the doubt. When she didn't reach out at the appointed time, my brain would have thought she was in trouble. My 1st message about an hour after we should have met would have been: Hey I thought we had a date. Did you miss your flight? Are you OK? Let me know. I'm worried. When I didn't hear from her, the next day I would have sent a 2nd message: Now I'm really worried. Please let me know you are blinking & breathing. You went straight to accusatory & mean. She felt attacked. As a result she's no longer interested. 3
Gaeta Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 Questions: 1. How did she get her phone back? 2. How did she contact you on Sunday? 3. When did she land back? On that Saturday or Sunday? 4. Did she have another mean to contact you? email? FB?
healing light Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 3 messages isn't that terrible in the grand scheme & you are allowed to be annoyed by her behavior. As somebody else pointed out, even if she lost her phone there are ways to get in touch. Your reaction was valid; your expression of it was not. The tone of your messages were nasty. You never gave her the benefit of the doubt. When she didn't reach out at the appointed time, my brain would have thought she was in trouble. My 1st message about an hour after we should have met would have been: Hey I thought we had a date. Did you miss your flight? Are you OK? Let me know. I'm worried. When I didn't hear from her, the next day I would have sent a 2nd message: Now I'm really worried. Please let me know you are blinking & breathing. You went straight to accusatory & mean. She felt attacked. As a result she's no longer interested. 100% agree with this entire post.
winny Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 (edited) No I did overreact, i should have sent her 1 text only but women will always see it differently than us man i guess. Problem is i did kinda react like a woman, my bad. Something similar happened to me like 5 years ago so maybe thats why I had a bad feeling about this. for future --- anger never solves anything. just refrain completely from sending angry text messages to anyone in your life. have all such talks face to face. will create much fewer issues. as soon as you start feeling angry and have this feeling to lash out... thats your sign to do the exact opposite... Also, what do u mean - REACT LIKE A WOMAN ? That is so demeaning and sexist. I am a woman and I am teaching you here how to respond and never react. you need to change your thinking! Edited November 5, 2019 by winny
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