Does a girl have to be pretty for you to take notice?

October 1, 2005

Hi i was just wondering men if a girl has to be pretty for you to take notice?I know everyone likes different people but there are some women out there who seem to get all the men.If someone wasnt so good looking but had a nice personality would you go out with her?

I think this world is all about looks now.Either youve got it or you havent!For the women that have men drool over them.One thing though it seems to be the really pretty girls (well from my experience anyway)which get a boyfriend then get dumped after a week.Because the blokes got what they wanted.

Ive got a boyfriend but im just curious lol.When i was single no one took notice of me.Im not the most attractive person lol.

So what does everyone think. what would you do?

October 1, 2005

Hi i was just wondering men if a girl has to be pretty for you to take notice?

I think that depens a lot on the guy, and the situation. And what you exactly mean with the word 'pretty.' I am one of those weird guys, who much less notices the body than the face. And even then I am not looking for Ms. Model, but more for the laughs, the minor facial expressions.

If someone wasnt so good looking but had a nice personality would you go out with her?

Yes, I would go out with such women (if both are single). The hard part is for most people finding the nice personality. And I can't deny the many negative effects "culture" has on us, our epectations for relationships et cetera.

I think this world is all about looks now.Either youve got it or you havent!For the women that have men drool over them.One thing though it seems to be the really pretty girls (well from my experience anyway)which get a boyfriend then get dumped after a week.Because the blokes got what they wanted.

If that is what is happening, these women end as messed up as the women who could not get a man. It is not a numbers game, however. Have 10 boyfriends, and you have found Mr. Right is nonsense.

Look at it from the other end: how can a "pretty girl" be certain that the man who takes an interest in her does it because he takes an interest in her, and because he wants to spend a few nights in the same bed?

Ive got a boyfriend but im just curious lol.When i was single no one took notice of me.Im not the most attractive person lol.

Two possibilities:

1) they know your boyfriend, trust his judgement, and therefore think you must be more attractive.

2) you are generally quite happy in the relationship, and that reflects in your behavior, your body language et cetera. Moreso than in the past.

October 1, 2005

thanks for replying

Another thing ive noticed is that because these so called pretty women know there pretty they seem to dump guys pretty quickly because they get bored.I have a friend who gets all the guys shes pretty.There is nothing wrong with these men but she just dumps them to go out with someone else.Confusing lol

October 1, 2005

Attractiveness seems to be a double-edged sword. On one hand, good looking women (and men, too) seem to get a lot of attention. Research has shown that attractive people get better grades, better jobs, earn more money and seem to be happier with their lives in general (http://www.careerbuilder.com/JobSeeker/CareerBytes/1104dolooksmatter.htm?cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=65d7248a19614214bea574bf1a8c8e20-181467300-s0-1)

The downside is that jealousy between attractive people can lead to destructive competition, sometimes resulting in prodigious spending habits in an endless "keep up with Miss/Mr Jones" spiral. (http://www.drmillslmu.com/Evolpsyc/spr2004/campbell-competition.htm)

For me personally, looks matter. Maybe that makes me shallow, but it's reality.

October 1, 2005

Unfortunately, in most cases looks DO matter. Personally, the woman does not have to be a "model" for me to notice her. She just has to have some physical qualities that I am attracted to just to spark interest. If her personality is attractive and there happens to be some sexual attraction, then I am interested.

October 1, 2005

Ive seen many of men go for the more attractive types but im sorry to say from my experience anyway that most of the more attractive people can be really nasty.Im not very good looking but i am a nice person.My friend or so called friend on the other hand is pretty but she quite nasty and always thinks about herself and only herself.So why do men seem to go for the attractive but nasty people?They want to show off to mates or something?If i was to choose between a nasty goodlooking person and a ugly nice person id choose the uglier out of the two anyday!

Thinking about it if your pretty but nasty maybe you are really an ugly person afterall!

October 2, 2005

So why do men seem to go for the attractive but nasty people?They want to show off to mates or something?If i was to

Yes, they go for hot women to show them off. These people look for social approval from friends, co-workers, and people in general.

In reality....attraction is very subjective.

October 2, 2005

Ive seen many of men go for the more attractive types but im sorry to say from my experience anyway that most of the more attractive people can be really nasty.

This is a really poor generalization.

Yes, they go for hot women to show them off. These people look for social approval from friends, co-workers, and people in general.

Very true Fundamental. I learned this one the hard way and I'm not even super attractive. It's no fun being someone's trophy girlfriend when you have real feelings for them.

Being attractive you may meet more people of the opposite sex but you never know who likes you for your looks or if they're actually taking you seriously as a person. I'd take 2 or 3 great guys that like me for me than 100 guys with the possibility of 2 or 3 in the bunch that like me for me. It's not going to be fun going through being used by the other 97/98 guys.

October 2, 2005

Unfortunately, in most cases looks DO matter. Personally, the woman does not have to be a "model" for me to notice her. She just has to have some physical qualities that I am attracted to just to spark interest. If her personality is attractive and there happens to be some sexual attraction, then I am interested.

I agree with fundamental 100 %

I've found myself in a situation where I'm interested in a woman. She's not the most beautiful in the world (no model), but she's certainly not ugly. She has one certain physical characteristic that first attracted me to her. That pluss her kick arse personality have made her one of the most beautiful women I've ever known. However, some men choose to only settle for the model type. Unfortunately for them many of these women are shallow and conceded and will leave much to desire in regards to the emotional aspect of a relationship.

October 2, 2005

However, some men choose to only settle for the model type. Unfortunately for them many of these women are shallow and conceded and will leave much to desire in regards to the emotional aspect of a relationship.

Again, unfair assumptions and generalizations about people based on their looks. Jerks come in all packages as do nice people. You are all sounding very self righteous.

October 2, 2005

Again, unfair assumptions and generalizations about people based on their looks. Jerks come in all packages as do nice people. You are all sounding very self righteous.

Correct JS. I have talked to many women who are beautiful and they will say that they get so sick of men telling them they are beautiful. It loses its meaning after a point. I just talked to one the other day and she said she does not want a man who just thinks she is beautiful because she wants him to like her for her, not just her exterior.

I think your heart tells so much more about you. It's the heart that keeps me there and interested and why I would fall in love with her.

October 2, 2005

Looks will get my attention, but it takes more than that to keep me interested. I would say that the female doesn't have to be physically gorgeous for her to utterly floor me. Doesn't hurt, though. Personality and sense of humor are MAJOR for me. I just can't get myself to like someone who won't laugh with me. To answer your question better, I will say that if she is physically acceptable and has a killer personality, then I am interested.

October 2, 2005

i am really not very pretty at all, but i have a quick personality that's sarcastic and smart and slightly (okay, maybe a little more than slightly) b--chy, and it gets them every time. and i still manage to be girly enough, somehow.

October 2, 2005

I think your heart tells so much more about you. It's the heart that keeps me there and interested and why I would fall in love with her.

That's true but there's more to it than just that as well. I think that a lot of dating is just about compatibility of issues and insecurities. Someone who is insecure about their looks will not go for the prettiest girl in the room.

Most people (at least this is what I choose to believe, perhaps too naievely) are not so shallow that they will like someone solely based on their looks. I think what we've overwhelmingly heard here is that it's about the total package. You just can't spend time with someone who doesn't match your level of humor or intelligence or emotions. It's all about compatibility in every sense, not just looks.

Are pretty people going to get a lot more attention, probably. Will they have more of an opportunity for a one night stand, probably. Will they have an easier time finding someone they can have a relationsip with, probably not.

October 2, 2005

well i think looks & being phyiscally attractive play into things ,but it doesnt make things last.

I had low self esttem ,was really shy ,didnt go out alot at that time of course guys werent interested i didnt like/love myself why would anyone else.

Then i got it "together "physically wasnt alot not to brag:o i have a banging A$$ body ,im attractive ,i started taking more care in how i dressed ,did my hair added a little blond,had confidence ,then i had guys all over me .

didnt like it wasnt used to it i got involved in a bad relationship (that im getting over now)cause i clung to a person who liked me then when my outside didnt match the good inside so i think its like another poster stated a souble edged sword.

It scared me all these guys approaching me (still does)

Now when i go to clubs guys dont approach me as much as my friend who is not as attractive as me ,she is more talkative ,older ,(i just go to clubs for friends& cheap beer:D )not to meet guys .

Lots of guys from work hit on me ,i joke & am very playful & it actully gets on my nerves that sometimes U cant be attractive ,& friendly with men then they want to ruin it by hitting on U ,so again double edged sword.

Everyone is looking for something what i find Unattrative may be attractive to someone else .

and i dont like U say Ur unattractive ,is that Ur picture ?i think U are very pretty .

October 2, 2005

If someone wasnt so good looking but had a nice personality would you go out with her?

Yes I still would, but in these cases I'd usually be captivated by the way she smiles and her femininity. Too often I've seen women who turn my head, but once they get started with their talkin'...... uhhh, they sounded more like fog-horns, so go figure.

I would choose an average-lookin' girl that exude femininity over one that's a trophy for men but with a character that's below-par. Character is so underrated these days it's a real shame.

October 2, 2005

If your not too good looking people dont say your beautiful as often.People are are good looking get compliments all the time.No wonder most of them have big heads lol.Im not talking about everyone but i have notcied that it seems to be the prettier ones that love themselves more.

Im not that attractive and the only compliments i get are from my boyfriend.Fair enough that should be enough to make me like myself but it isnt.Also the prettier people because they are more confident get more people liking them because they are more confident.I have a mate shes pretty and really loud and confident she will wear skirts when she goes out and all the men drool.Me on the other hand im not as good looking dont wear skirts so men dont even look twice at me.I just sorta sink into the background.Feeling second best again.Im not being nasty though but my friend loves herself so much she doesnt think about others.Shes quite ugly inside really. ill think ill stick to being unattractive that way i wont become so involved in myself.

Is there really any really pretty nice people out there ,guys and girls?Because i have yet to meet one!

October 2, 2005

If your not too good looking people dont say your beautiful as often.People are are good looking get compliments all the time.No wonder most of them have big heads lol.Im not talking about everyone but i have notcied that it seems to be the prettier ones that love themselves more.

Im not that attractive and the only compliments i get are from my boyfriend.Fair enough that should be enough to make me like myself but it isnt.Also the prettier people because they are more confident get more people liking them because they are more confident.I have a mate shes pretty and really loud and confident she will wear skirts when she goes out and all the men drool.Me on the other hand im not as good looking dont wear skirts so men dont even look twice at me.I just sorta sink into the background.Feeling second best again.Im not being nasty though but my friend loves herself so much she doesnt think about others.Shes quite ugly inside really. ill think ill stick to being unattractive that way i wont become so involved in myself.

Is there really any really pretty nice people out there ,guys and girls?Because i have yet to meet one!

Toni, you have all of these unrealisic notions of "beautiful" people. I myself am average but I find your comments to be insulting to many people. Confidence comes from within. People don't like you because you're attractive, people may like their looks but it doesn't mean they like the person. I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous, prettier than most models, seriously. People always joke that she must be the one that all the guys talk to when we go out but she's really shy and always stands back talking to people she knows that she's comfortable with. Our other friend who could talk to a post and is a pretty girl but nothing close to the modelesque girl is the one that everyone talks to because she is just so funny and outgoing. In my experience, it's the super outgoing people that have the most to apologize for rather than the pretty ones. But in no way do I believe that all outgoing people will be ugly on the inside once you really get to know them. You don't sound like you have a lot of experience with a lot of different kinds of people. It sounds like you're making your judgement on the few people that you know.

Your confidence issues are your confidence issues. Stop putting the blame on the "pretty" girls and start thinking about why you're so down on yourself. It's not because of them, I can tell you that.

October 2, 2005

Toni, you have all of these unrealisic notions of "beautiful" people. I myself am average but I find your comments to be insulting to many people. Confidence comes from within. People don't like you because you're attractive, people may like their looks but it doesn't mean they like the person. I have a friend who is drop dead gorgeous, prettier than most models, seriously. People always joke that she must be the one that all the guys talk to when we go out but she's really shy and always stands back talking to people she knows that she's comfortable with. Our other friend who could talk to a post and is a pretty girl but nothing close to the modelesque girl is the one that everyone talks to because she is just so funny and outgoing. In my experience, it's the super outgoing people that have the most to apologize for rather than the pretty ones. But in no way do I believe that all outgoing people will be ugly on the inside once you really get to know them. You don't sound like you have a lot of experience with a lot of different kinds of people. It sounds like you're making your judgement on the few people that you know.

Your confidence issues are your confidence issues. Stop putting the blame on the "pretty" girls and start thinking about why you're so down on yourself. It's not because of them, I can tell you that.

I agree with JS17.

October 2, 2005

I agree with JS17.

Ditto. Toni, there was one time several years back that I was in a club with two gorgeous female friends. I was doing the "shy little shadow" bit, being ignored by the group of guys swarming round my friends, feeling sorry for myself etc etc. One of the guys went to get drinks, came back with drinks for my friends but not for me. Honestly...talk about the invisible dog.

Humph I went to the bar and bought my own drink, and downed it at the bar whilst feeling terribly resentful and sorry for myself Then I went to the ladies to have a little pity party in front of the mirror.

The first thing I noticed was the expression of doom on my face. The next was the "poor me" body language. I had to ask myself "If you were a bloke, would you go for that?" The only possible answer was "No thank you, I'd rather spend an evening in the company of the Grim Reaper." It was as if someone had injected me with a great big dose of realisation of just how much damage a negative attitude can do.

So I walked out of the ladies and marched up to my friends and their admirers with a great big "Right! I think I'm fan-bloody-tastic even if nobody else does..." smile. The results were instant. Lots of eye contact, big smiles back, no shortage of attention or offers of drinks ("no thanks, I always buy my own" ).

It's really not that difficult to have a good time once you manage that attitude shift - and you don't have to look like Kate Moss, Cameron Diaz or Angelina Jolie either. You're a pretty enough girl. Give yourself a shake, pull your hands away from your face and give the world a big "love me or f*** off" smile. Honestly Toni, it's down to you to pull yourself out of those shadows, because if you wait for other people to boost you up you'll wait forever. It's the same thing for 99.9% of us

October 2, 2005

im not slagging people off im just saying from the mojority i know seem to be like that not everyone is.I mean its such a shame that people mostly go on looks nowadays.There are magazines telling you how to look.If youve got to be skinny like some off these celebs id rather be like i am.Have you seen that terri hatcher i think thats her name! why did she do that to herself.she looks like a skeleton.

Maybe i should loose the negative attitude.Even if i am with someone if i go out and everyone goes for my mates that what makes me feel low.Im ok until then lol then im upset most the night.

Maybe ive got a"im taken" sign on my head that only men can see lol

i dont know i dont want anyone but my boyfriend but it would be nice to feel attractive still.What could i change?

October 2, 2005

You could change a lot like....

smile Toni. Like this.... .... or even better, like this.... . Of course don't overdo it, like this....

October 2, 2005

lol yer suppose .But sometimes people are always telling me to smile.I cant have a smile plastered on me face 24/7 can i lol

October 2, 2005

Everyone is an individual. Not all pretty people are mean, not all men are jerks, not all women are emotional, not all Americans are loud and obnoxious....see what I'm getting at. The grass is always greener on the other side. "Pretty" people end up getting used more and often question whether someone likes them for their looks. People have to appreciate what they have and learn to adapt. Everyone has their insecurities, even "pretty" people. Everyone has their assets and issues and nobody is perfect. And in my experience, it's the less attractive people that have the best relationships. What are some of your better attributes? Are you funny? Are you sweet? Would you do anything for your friends or boyfriend if they needed you? You must have something good in there or there would be no friends and no boyfriends.

You would HARDLY be the first person out there to have low self esteem. Know that you're a great person. Let those assets show more. Be happy with who you are and accept your lot in life. The sooner you do that the happier you will be.

AND SMILE:D

October 2, 2005

Maybe i should loose the negative attitude.Even if i am with someone if i go out and everyone goes for my mates that what makes me feel low.Im ok until then lol then im upset most the night.
Maybe ive got a"im taken" sign on my head that only men can see lol
i dont know i dont want anyone but my boyfriend but it would be nice to feel attractive still.What could i change?

YES, you really need to change the negative attitude. There are a lot of things that make a woman attractive outside of her physical attributes- confidence is HUGE.

Also, you can find clothes that make you feel and look attractive- find the perfect hair and make up for you- enhance the features you already have- you will look and feel better. I have friends who aren't very attractive when the makeup and clothes come off, but look like supermodels all done up.

I just know that if YOU feel like you look your best- you will get attention when you are out with your friends. Trust me. AND smiling is key, nobody wants to approach someone who looks unhappy/unfriendly- no matter how 'hot' they are.

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