knockout33 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 (edited) Hey guys. I'm thinking of getting with this guy I met online. He just wants to hook up with me. Iv'e never done it before, but I haven't been with a guy since I was 27. So about 8 years now. I saw his pic online and I'm attracted to him. He's in misissauga and I'm in Scarborough. So I'd be long distance I guess depending on how far into misissauga he is. I have a friend living there so I don't consider it to far. What do you think of hookups in general? Sorry it says want hookups as my title But I meant What do You Think? I tried editing but ya. Edited October 30, 2019 by knockout33
schlumpy Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I think there is a certain amount of risk to it especially traveling to another city. The more you know about the person you are meeting the less risk there is but isn't that the nature of the hook-up? Isn't part of the appeal the mystery and naughty adventure of the stranger? Just be aware it backfires big time on many people. Let someone know where you are and what you doing as an insurance policy.
lurker74 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Nothing wrong with a hook up if that's what you truly want. A couple of things. Make sure you a) speak to him on the phone, b) don't plan on spending the night c) make sure your local friend knows where you are at all times, d) don't feel obligated if you meet him and don't like him, e) get his FB or other social media info or do research to confirm he isn't married or otherwise in a relationship, g) use protection, and g) keep in mind that you're likely to catch feelings and be sad at some point in the future. Most of the time, FWB don't work out for long but there is nothing wrong with being safe while having fun. Just look at it as that...having fun. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I don't do hook-ups and especially ONS with strangers - just not my thing for dozens of reason but I have had my share of FWB. NSA sex comes with it's own risks that I'm just not comfortable taking be it physical or emotional. If that's your thing, then so be it. Just be sure to keep your head on straight and be safe at all times.
smackie9 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 It's not a safe thing to do. He's a total stranger. If you go through with it put some safe guards in place, like take a selfie with him, take a photo of his car and license plate, let your friend know where you two are meeting, what hotel you are staying at, and what time you are getting out of there. Text her and let her know how everything is going. There are no, "I have to sleep with him" rule. You meet in a public place, talk, and see if you even feel comfortable with him. If he creeps you out, just cut it short and say you are not feeling this, then leave...text your friend. Oh and never leave your drink unattended. If he orders one before you get back to the table, don't accept it. So easy to find yourself in a compromising situation being a woman alone with a total stranger. He could be a convict that got out recently, a serial rapist, etc. You truly don't know who this guy is. 1
Rayce Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Hey guys. I'm thinking of getting with this guy I met online. He just wants to hook up with me. Iv'e never done it before, but I haven't been with a guy since I was 27. So about 8 years now. I saw his pic online and I'm attracted to him. He's in misissauga and I'm in Scarborough. So I'd be long distance I guess depending on how far into misissauga he is. I have a friend living there so I don't consider it to far. What do you think of hookups in general? Sorry it says want hookups as my title But I meant What do You Think? I tried editing but ya. I struggle with the same thing but no matter what I am still not able to bring my mindset to the idea of having random sex with guys. Judging by the length since your last sexual encounter I would say that a hookup at this stage would only make you feel worst. There is a reason why you are waiting... maybe it's because the act of sex must mean more to you than satisfying some sort of itch. I say stay true to yourself. Wishing you peace...
kendahke Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Just make sure someone knows where you're going and who you're going to see. Get a location beacon and put it somewhere in your car, just in case. If NSA sex is all you're after, then go get you some, but be mindful of your own safety.
PRW Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I have a big moral issue with Hookups, but I don't think that is what you were asking me. I also have a certain view of people's character that would do hookups, but I don't' think that is what you were asking me either. I think there is some real psychological damage done by this type of behavor particularly in the areas of damaging the ability to bond with another person romantically (ex. Desensitizing),...but I don't think that was what you were asking me either. I think a guy who just wants that,...wants that all over the place with everyone,...so he has probably been "dipping" into women all over the place,...and now he wants to "dip" it into you now. So how many STDs does he have? Maybe that is what you were asking me about,...I'm not sure. Perhaps the guy across the street can do that for you and you won't have to drive so far. At least you will know where to go to sue him for negative repercussions. Seriously, think about that,...a strange guy you don't know anything about has been drawing in women online from long distance all over the country,...so he can dip it in to them for free (they come to him) without any responsibility for what becomes of it. Does he supply the rope and duct tape? Does his basement have a dirt floor to make it easier to bury the bodies? Are there a bunch of unexplained kids scattered all over the country raised by men who don't know the kid isn't theirs? 2
stillafool Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Nothing wrong with hook ups if you have a strong heart. Just make sure you don't fall in love or want more or you'll be severely hurt. This guy has already said what he wanted a "hookup". Don't expect more.
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Hookups & FWBs are fine if you can keep safe & your emotions in check. Most people can't. I doubt I would ever do one off the internet . . . too risky & too much potential for criminal harm as well as disease exposure. The choice is a personal one. If it looks safe & you will be able to look yourself in the mirror the next day . . . it's entirely up to you. If you can't have sex without emotion don't do it. You will feel lousy & emotionally used the next day, especially if the guy is cavalier about it. Understand down the road in the future some people will judge you for this choice & label you promiscuous or worse. 1
Author knockout33 Posted October 30, 2019 Author Posted October 30, 2019 Alright thanks guys. I decided not to. Just thought about a whole bunch of stuff. That it's better to get to know the person more. And I read everyone's replies. Thanks, 2
rainbow12 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Alright thanks guys. I decided not to. Just thought about a whole bunch of stuff. That it's better to get to know the person more. And I read everyone's replies. Thanks, You made the right decision, everyone been saying go for it and be safe that's not enough. You shouldn't do it because it's completely risky and it's not exciting as it may seem in fantasies. When you do things naturally in meeting someone face to face and know them then have FWB or a hook up it's not so bad but finding someone attractive online and trying to get hooks up from there is a bad place and idea. Be completely safe not a little bit.
Ruby Slippers Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 STDs are rampant. There's no HPV test for men, it's almost guaranteed that men who sleep around have it, it's easily picked up and transmitted via oral sex, and it can cause cervical cancer. For this and many other reasons, I don't do hookups.
vv3469802 Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Alright thanks guys. I decided not to. Just thought about a whole bunch of stuff. That it's better to get to know the person more. And I read everyone's replies. Thanks, That's right. There is a chance that you continue chatting with this guy and will meet him in the near future. But before that, I would recommend you try to speak with him via skype or another kind of telecommunications app. That definitely helps you to understand his emotions.
PRW Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Understand down the road in the future some people will judge you for this choice & label you promiscuous or worse. Very good point that slipped my mind when I wrote. Later on if a really good guy with integrity is found,...and he found out the women he just met has taken part in that behavor,...what will he do? Myself I would never trust her. If she was that lax and that easy about it, then it is just a matter of time before she does it behind my back the first time she gets a little bored with me. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Very good point that slipped my mind when I wrote. Later on if a really good guy with integrity is found,...and he found out the women he just met has taken part in that behavor,...what will he do? Myself I would never trust her. If she was that lax and that easy about it, then it is just a matter of time before she does it behind my back the first time she gets a little bored with me. That's a leap. There is a huge difference between having NSA sex & cheating. In college I was the equivalent of a male player. I loved the chase. The minute some boy got serious about me, I bolted. I think my longest relationship before I was 22 was about 6 weeks. I never cheated. I was serial short term monogamist. As much as I dated, I didn't have sex with most of those guys. My reputation was that of a good time girl which was just fine with me. I had plans & some guy & a relationship were not going to derail them. After college I settled down into long term relationships -- minimum of 2 years, some lasting much longer. knockout33: I'm glad you are backing off the hooking up through the internet thing. With FWB, I think some level of trust is required so make sure you will be safe & not exposed to disease. If you are secure in your own sexuality, as an adult you are free to scratch any itch you have however you see fit. But as I initially pointed out & has been confirmed some future man may judge you unfairly harshly for that choice. 1
PRW Posted November 1, 2019 Posted November 1, 2019 That's a leap. There is a huge difference between having NSA sex & cheatingBoth are based on cheap sex.
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