Springsummer Posted November 1, 2019 Posted November 1, 2019 I can tell ya this type of selfishness IS exactly why I am single with my 3 kids. I put the kids first, even above myself and my wants and needs and desires all day, everyday 24/7/365. I do it because I love them. I do it because its what a real man does. A real man takes care of his family, friends, and neighbors. Great! You are doing the right thing as a human being. but they are YOUR kids. not the woman's. Would you put above myself and your wants and needs and desires all day, everyday 24/7/365 for OTHER people's kids? if not, you are just as selfish as well. you see my points?
greymatter Posted November 1, 2019 Posted November 1, 2019 (edited) I think we all want the best for MO and want her to find love. She gets in her own way a lot. There is no double standard here. The guy she is talking about in this thread made a recent attempt to send a romantic message to her for a Valentine's-like day in her region, and she shut him down (unintentionally I'm sure) by replying with a meme/message that said "ain't nobody got time for that." Unless I got that wrong (not going to try to find the thread now). He may think she is not interested. But by not being in touch with her for a week, whatever the reason (lack of interest, thinking she isn't interested, or many other possibilities) he is now showing he is not interested. Sadly for her. As such, if I were in her shoes, I wouldn't think "I was just having a moment, all is well." I was trying to emphasize that a relationship requires demonstration of consistent mutual interest and I don't see that going on here. If it develops, and MO learns how to communicate her interest, and he his, maybe things will develop. But for right now...it's not looking good that an entire week passed with no communication. Okay, he came through on the Halloween get together. Great. I'll be interested to see how things play out. Edited November 1, 2019 by greymatter
Author mortensorchid Posted November 1, 2019 Author Posted November 1, 2019 I did see him tonight. We passed out candy to the trick or treaters for Halloween then I made dinner afterwards. I was somewhat embarrassed because somehow the chicken I made didn't get done in the oven but we were okay with that (just nuked it in the microwave). Goong to see him this weekend as this is his weekend without the kids. And no I have not met the kids yet but I am not pushing it. 2
Blind-Sided Posted November 1, 2019 Posted November 1, 2019 I did see him tonight. We passed out candy to the trick or treaters for Halloween then I made dinner afterwards. I was somewhat embarrassed because somehow the chicken I made didn't get done in the oven but we were okay with that (just nuked it in the microwave). Goong to see him this weekend as this is his weekend without the kids. And no I have not met the kids yet but I am not pushing it. Good. Glad to hear it. But next time, use a meat thermometer. Raw chicken isn't good. LOL. Or switch to beef. That doesn't matter if it's still pink.
Malin889 Posted November 1, 2019 Posted November 1, 2019 I did see him tonight. We passed out candy to the trick or treaters for Halloween then I made dinner afterwards. I was somewhat embarrassed because somehow the chicken I made didn't get done in the oven but we were okay with that (just nuked it in the microwave). Goong to see him this weekend as this is his weekend without the kids. And no I have not met the kids yet but I am not pushing it. Awesome! And right, don’t push anything with meeting the kids — that’s a long way off. Enjoy time with him and getting to know him and making sure you too get along, and eventually if things continue to go well, you can eventually meet them. I started seeing someone who has kids, as do I, and I’m in no rush. Personally I like the adult time/time without kids and would prefer to keep things separate lol. Then again I’m with my daughter 95% of the time, so what little me time I have is nice.
NuevoYorko Posted November 1, 2019 Posted November 1, 2019 Because a lot of women do not like to be 4th priority (after 3 kids), especially if they have no kids and are putting the man first. You have to realize that just because your kids are "your world", to a woman you are dating they are strangers, especially after only a month of dating. A nice woman will pretend to care but she doesn't, not yet. They are just an obstacle to a smooth relationship that she has to endure. If her priority is being in a relationship, and this has eluded her for many years, and she connects with a man she really likes - maybe it's worth less intensive attention to her. Especially if she's in an age bracket when many of her peers will have kids. Not everyone wants that much focus. If I met a woman I liked a lot and she had 3 kids, I would be fine with it. I'm not interested in somebody slavering over me. I've been on my own for a while now and I am used to my alone time and autonomy. It's not a stretch to imagine that there are women who feel the same way.
Malin889 Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 If her priority is being in a relationship, and this has eluded her for many years, and she connects with a man she really likes - maybe it's worth less intensive attention to her. Especially if she's in an age bracket when many of her peers will have kids. Not everyone wants that much focus. If I met a woman I liked a lot and she had 3 kids, I would be fine with it. I'm not interested in somebody slavering over me. I've been on my own for a while now and I am used to my alone time and autonomy. It's not a stretch to imagine that there are women who feel the same way. I, a woman, I feel the same way! 1
Gaeta Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 Who said he is a bad person? Way to exaggerate what was actually posted. I quickly counted she was told 8 times he was not interested and to drop him. I am sure most people got the meaning of my post when I used the word bad. It meant bad as not genuine in his interest for her.
Ruby Slippers Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 Because a lot of women do not like to be 4th priority (after 3 kids), especially if they have no kids and are putting the man first. You have to realize that just because your kids are "your world", to a woman you are dating they are strangers, especially after only a month of dating. Kind of off topic... but I just got back on a dating site, and one of the most off-putting comments I see single dads write is "my kid is my everything". Um, if your kid's your EVERYTHING, that suggests you have no time left over for anything else, certainly not a girlfriend. I can't imagine even single moms would be interested in that. And on the extreme end, today I got a message from a guy whose profile said, "My daughter is with me every moment of the day." Okaaaaay Couldn't delete that one fast enough. 1
chillii Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 (edited) But ya know what , this stuff is always so damn weird. Because most of the mums say that exact thing too and l use to think the same. Nearly all of them say something like that, my kids are my world or my everything, or even if you don't fit in with that then keep walking and all kinds of stuff. And believe me l get parenting l am one but there's no way l was interested in being at the bottom of the food chain either. l was only interest in someone with odler kids, or kid actually, no more than one, myself, for all kinds of reasons Maybe women don't read the other women profiles like l never ever looked at male profiles so l wouldn't have a clue what they'd say either. But just about everything l see around women say is a turn off, they do themselves. Edited November 2, 2019 by chillii
Gaeta Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 Morten: Did he explain why he had not reach out for days? I am still puzzled by why YOU have not reached out to him during the week? You are passed counting who reaches out first.
Mr.Me Posted November 4, 2019 Posted November 4, 2019 Great! You are doing the right thing as a human being. but they are YOUR kids. not the woman's. Would you put above myself and your wants and needs and desires all day, everyday 24/7/365 for OTHER people's kids? if not, you are just as selfish as well. you see my points? For what ever it's worth. I raise 3 kids. A 3 year old, 4 year old and a 9 year old. The 3 year old isn't biological. She still needs love though so I made her mine. I have all of them because the respective parents are too selfish to prioritize anyone over themselves. They shouldn't have had kids in the first place. If a women can't deal with kids being put first, then the women, then me, then said women not need to be chasing guys with kids. If a women can't see that putting the kids first, and her next, before himself, she isn't seeing the best in that guy in my opinion.
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