c1nderella Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Kinda glad my days of this kind of anxiety are over after my ex pulled the slow fade on me lmao
FMW Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I would text "Hi, hope the weekend went well with the kids. Are we still on for tomorrow?" I don't think it should take 3 days after he had his kids for him to get back in touch, for what it's worth. If this is the first time he's gone silent I wouldn't write him off immediately, but I would lower my expectations going forward and keep busy. Don't put in more effort than he does.
alphamale Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 maybe him and his kids were having a pow wow to discuss whether or not they wanted mortensorchid to be a part of their lives?!?
FMW Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Just in case it wasn't clear when I said lower your expectations going forward - I meant about whether he's going to live up to your initial impression of him. I certainly didn't mean to lower your expectations about being treated well.
Happy Lemming Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 (edited) This guy has baggage (3 kids)... unless he's trying for a re-boot of the "Brady Bunch" he should thank his lucky stars he's been able to find anyone to date. Moreover, "Mortensorchid" has no children to get in the way of plans, activities, etc. and she is accepting of his children. I also think its sweet that she is already thinking about what to get him for Christmas. And shame on him for not communicating with her. He is not in his 20's, so he shouldn't be "ghosting" her like some young person. What is so difficult about firing off a quick e-mail or text. I'm going to watch the World Series tonight, so I just fired off a quick e-mail to my girlfriend told her about my day and that I'm getting ready to watch the game. It took all of 30 seconds. That is all "mortensorchid" is looking for, just some acknowledgement. Personally, I think he should treat her better than this. Edited to add: And if he no longer wants to date her, he should call her and tell her. Again, he isn't 20-something, he should be a grown adult about it and just tell her "good bye" instead of this "ghosting" business. Edited October 30, 2019 by Happy Lemming 2
rightondude Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 is this the guy from your long ago past? I hate to say it but sometimes "you can't go home again" and maybe the thrill of rekindling past feelings has gone by the wayside, replaced by today's version of each other. It happens; I've been there. I hope I'm wrong.
Springsummer Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 This guy has baggage (3 kids)... unless he's trying for a re-boot of the "Brady Bunch" he should thank his lucky stars he's been able to find anyone to date. Moreover, "Mortensorchid" has no children to get in the way of plans, activities, etc. and she is accepting of his children. Exactly what's wrong with her? why is she even dating a 3 kids dad? doesn't say anything to her after so many day? my lord, forget about this guy already. you can do better. 1
Author mortensorchid Posted October 31, 2019 Author Posted October 31, 2019 He texted. It's all good. I was just having moment. 4
Lotsgoingon Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Way to hang in there! That was a nerve-wracking moment.
alphamale Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 He texted. It's all good. I was just having moment. phew, thank god. i'll be able to sleep well tonight! 3
Happy Lemming Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 He texted. It's all good. Did you firm up plans for tomorrow night??
elaine567 Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Phew! he texted, sure enough but why did it take him nearly a week? The fact he withdrew completely and kept you on tenterhooks is not really a very good sign IMO. Be careful. 2
Blind-Sided Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 (edited) He texted. It's all good. I was just having moment. GREAT !! I knew he would come around. Now stop sweating the small things. I don't know you directly, but I've read a bunch of your threads... and it's your turn for a happy ending. Let us know how Trick-or-treating goes. Oh... on that note... will you be meeting his kids during this? Edited October 31, 2019 by Blind-Sided 1
FMW Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Happy to hear he texted! Enjoy Halloween together
Gaeta Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Good news!! Remember you can keep in touch with him as well. Tell him you're happy to hear from him it always bright up your day. He'll get the message. 1
greymatter Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 He texted. It's all good. I was just having moment. If I didn’t hear from someone I was newly dating for a week and then he texted as if no time had passed, I wouldn’t be thinking “it’s all good.” I also wouldn’t write it off as ME having a moment. It wasn’t a moment...it was a week. Don’t get emotionally invested in the idea of a relationship with this guy unless his actions demonstrate that he wants a relationship with you AND unless you want one with him...and not because you desperately want to be in a relationship but because the two of you actually have something where consistency of actions (meaning ongoing communication and spending time together not to mention clear interest in dating each other) are demonstrated. So far...it’s not looking at all like that. You are accepting crumbs from him so far and acting like the text you received after hearing nothing for a week is a loaf. 3
Gaeta Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Has he really given her crumbs since beginning? I was under the impression this was a one -time issue? Also why is he a bad person for not reaching out for 4 days but she is not a bad person for not reaching out? I don't like double standards. . 1
FMW Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 I agree with Gaeta, no need to kick him to the curb yet. Just see how things progress from here while keeping her expectations/hopes in check for the moment. 1
Mr.Me Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Exactly what's wrong with her? why is she even dating a 3 kids dad? doesn't say anything to her after so many day? my lord, forget about this guy already. you can do better. I'd like to know exactly whats wrong with a 3 kid dad? Are we somehow used up? Are we no good? Are we not capable of giving undivided attention to the type who expect the universe to orbit around them? I can tell ya this type of selfishness IS exactly why I am single with my 3 kids. I put the kids first, even above myself and my wants and needs and desires all day, everyday 24/7/365. I do it because I love them. I do it because its what a real man does. A real man takes care of his family, friends, and neighbors. Isn't that what this type of women want too? To be put first, to be before myself and my wants and needs and desires? A real man doing manlky stuff? If so then why is a man with kids doing exactly that not dating material? 2
alphamale Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 for god's sake the guy's got 3 little ones, cut him some slack
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 I'd like to know exactly whats wrong with a 3 kid dad? Are we somehow used up? Are we no good? Are we not capable of giving undivided attention to the type who expect the universe to orbit around them? I can tell ya this type of selfishness IS exactly why I am single with my 3 kids. I put the kids first, even above myself and my wants and needs and desires all day, everyday 24/7/365. I do it because I love them. I do it because its what a real man does. A real man takes care of his family, friends, and neighbors. Isn't that what this type of women want too? To be put first, to be before myself and my wants and needs and desires? A real man doing manlky stuff? If so then why is a man with kids doing exactly that not dating material? Because a lot of women do not like to be 4th priority (after 3 kids), especially if they have no kids and are putting the man first. You have to realize that just because your kids are "your world", to a woman you are dating they are strangers, especially after only a month of dating. A nice woman will pretend to care but she doesn't, not yet. They are just an obstacle to a smooth relationship that she has to endure. 1
fishlips Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 He texted. It's all good. I was just having moment. That is great news. Please stop obsessing or you will drive the poor man away. He seems to like you and wants to be with you, but he is a single parent to three young kids. You seem to be very understanding, though. Good luck!
Gaeta Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 A nice woman will pretend to care but she doesn't, not yet. They are just an obstacle to a smooth relationship that she has to endure. That is your VERY personal opinion. 2
winny Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 I'd like to know exactly whats wrong with a 3 kid dad? Are we somehow used up? Are we no good? Are we not capable of giving undivided attention to the type who expect the universe to orbit around them? I can tell ya this type of selfishness IS exactly why I am single with my 3 kids. I put the kids first, even above myself and my wants and needs and desires all day, everyday 24/7/365. I do it because I love them. I do it because its what a real man does. A real man takes care of his family, friends, and neighbors. Isn't that what this type of women want too? To be put first, to be before myself and my wants and needs and desires? A real man doing manlky stuff? If so then why is a man with kids doing exactly that not dating material? I guess its because you chose to have multiple kids. Its your decision. Not everyone wants that. It is not selfishness. It is a choice. Also I am tired of parents constantly making everyone including their kids feel that oh I put your needs before me. Don’t do it. Take care of your needs also so that you can be happier and be a better parent and person. 1
greymatter Posted October 31, 2019 Posted October 31, 2019 Has he really given her crumbs since beginning? I was under the impression this was a one -time issue? Also why is he a bad person for not reaching out for 4 days but she is not a bad person for not reaching out? I don't like double standards. . Who said he is a bad person? Way to exaggerate what was actually posted.
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