mortensorchid Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I have not heard from my new guy since Thursday of last week. He said he had his kids this weekend, I said ok as I didn't want to bother him. It's now Tuesday. We made a tentative plan for this Thursday to pass out candy to the trick or treaters at his house on Halloween. What to do?
Blind-Sided Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I know you've had a long streak of problemed relationships. But in this case... I think you are overthinking things. As you two get more comfortable together... there will naturally be a little less communication. He had his kids, and he need to spend time with them. The new week starts, and things get busy. Work, cleaning the house after the kids leave, getting groceries, laundry... so on. Since you have plans for tomorrow... just shoot him a TXT, and say... "What time should I be over to pass out candy? and should I bring anything with me?" Don't make a problem, or worry as he may pick up on that later. Take a deep breath, and relax. Good luck 3
alphamale Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 dating people with children is an exercise in futility. let him contact you 1
elaine567 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 He had his kids, and he need to spend time with them. The new week starts, and things get busy. Work, cleaning the house after the kids leave, getting groceries, laundry... so on. Yes the grocery shop and washing smalls definitely takes priority... Takes seconds to shoot off a quick "Hi" text. People who are interested act interested, kids or not. Weekend = Saturday, Sunday. She has heard zero, zilch, zip, nada, nothing since last Thursday... 6
thefooloftheyear Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Doesn't sound good....sorry... Being busy is a legitimate reason for not getting together or doing anything(especially with kids involved), but contact should be expected if people care about what they have...If anything he would be in touch in anticipation of the meeting... Of course, it is possible that there isn't an issue and he is just lazy about contact, so like someone else said, maybe make one contact on your end, but to me, it doesn't look good.. TFY 1
Gaeta Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 If this is out of character for him to not reach out then give him the benefit of the doubt, send him a text and ask to confirm the time you're meeting. Maybe he ran into some type of emergencies, unexpected visitors, kids got sic, who knows! Yes yes yes interested people act interested, I think he showed already he was interested. 1
SumGuy Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 (edited) Could be something came up with the kids, he’s not as free as he thought for Thursday and trying to figure it out. Maybe reluctant to contact you with a change of tentative plans. This even more so if the kids are young. Sure avoidance is never a great strategy but neither is anxious or insecurity. We each have our own foibles, “baggage” you can learn to live with what is essential to you and accept the rest...or seek perfection in others (you’ll never keep anyone though unless you become perfect yourself) Edited October 30, 2019 by SumGuy
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 (edited) I'm with the camp who says this doesn't look good. Kids or no kids, busy or not, when someone is interested they will make time. It takes ZERO time to shoot a quick text saying "Hey, hope you're doing well" or "Been so busy but wanted you to know I'm thinking of you? or "...looking forward to seeing you on Thursday". If it helps you sleep better at night, send him a short text asking if you're still on for Thursday. Just be prepared for those plans to change or no response at all. Personally, I wouldn't bother and just take his lack of connection as response enough. Whatever you do, after that final text, don't bother chasing him. Save your dignity and move on. He knows how to reach you. Good luck. Edited October 30, 2019 by Michelle ma Belle 4
Ruby Slippers Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Personally, I could never get excited about someone who goes days without contacting me. If a new love interest were to skip even a day, I imagine my interest would quickly die. Anytime I've begun dating someone, he contacted me every single day from then on, at least a few sweet texts and a quick phone call to say hello. This lets me know I'm on his mind and he's making an earnest effort to connect and bond. But obviously, as evidenced by this forum, people make all kinds of compromises in romance that I'd find ludicrous for myself. Trust your intuition. It will tell you clearly whether this is going to cut it for you or not. 1
Gaeta Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 You had your first date on September 19th. You've had only good times since then. Now he's got his kids, young kids like 11, 9, and 6 I think. That is a hand full. You are just in the get-to-know phase, maybe he gets really absorbed with his children and it's not a time he reaches out, so what! you're not a little girl anymore that needs her hand held every day of the week. He's an individual that thinks and feels differently than you. He has his good qualities and he has flaws, like the rest of us. Don't play the waiting game, you are a full participant in this relationship. Send him a text inquiring about tomorrow's schedule. His answer will tell you what you need to know. 2
mark clemson Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Agree that you should text him to confirm. Life happens. Agree that you should be prepared for good OR bad possible outcomes as this is early stages. 1
Happy Lemming Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I'm with the camp who says this doesn't look good. Kids or no kids, busy or not, when someone is interested they will make time. Add me to this camp, as well. How long does it take to fire off an e-mail or text after he puts the kids to bed?? I've been dating my girlfriend for almost 8 years, and I fire off a little e-mail (our preferred method of communication) each night, telling her about my day, etc. and asking about hers. It takes less than a minute. Communication is very easy in today's electronic age. And yes, I would text him to firm up the Thursday plans, as that activity was discussed prior to the weekend. If he doesn't respond... NEXT!! 2
smackie9 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Me personally wouldn't put up with it. I doubt he's ready for anything serious. He's too busy with his own life.
fishlips Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 I would call or text and ask him if you are still on for Thursday. You need to know, anyway. If he doesn't respond, well you have your answer. He could have gotten busy with his kids. You can't assume anything, and not everyone texts all the time. 1
winny Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Text him. You got nothing to lose. That may shed some light on the situation and give some clarity. Let us know what he responds.
Lotsgoingon Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 Sorry to hear about his silence mortensorchid. I might text once and see what happens.
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 This is when you need to watch (if you haven't already) the movie "He's Just Not That Into You". Classic. 2
Malin889 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 It IS Mercury Retrograde right now — when communication and everything else goes haywire. Perhaps he got caught up in something. Why don’t you text him a funny joke, then say, are we still up for Thursday? And Don’t ask him what to bring, go over with some nice chocolate for the two of you to share and some wine. Think positive! 1
Gaeta Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 They have been dating for 1 month, why is it HIS job to text her! Why hasn't she kept in touch with him since last week! 2
elaine567 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 They have been dating for 1 month, why is it HIS job to text her! Why hasn't she kept in touch with him since last week! Because he took himself out of circulation by having his kids for the weekend. She didn't want to intrude. But he has gone MIA for some reason... 2
Gaeta Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 MIA means not answering. He's not quite there yet 1
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