mmx Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) So I met this guy when he was visiting my city a few weeks ago. We exchanged numbers and kept talking. He kept mentioning how much he wishes he could see me. We both decided we wanted to visit each other. He asked if I would be willing to visit him and that he wouldn’t mind paying for it. I suggested a weekend when we video chatted over the weekend. He said it was no big deal if I decided it was too much pressure or I just didn’t want to come. I did not expect that he was going to go ahead and book it that night. The next morning, I sent me a text telling him to cancel it as I am traveling for work the week prior and was feeling stressed. I just don’t know him very well and i thought it was too quick. I said I wanted to visit [later] when I had more time. He canceled and got his money back. However, he is being short with me and now not responding much. We were supposed to video chat last night. He did not respond with a time that worked, so I texted again asking if we were or not and that I could also do the next day. He responded saying he is feeling stupid about the whole thing and we would talk tomorrow. I asked him why he felt stupid and explained my canceling due to being stressed. He has not responded. I may have messed this whole thing up. I just want to get to know him better and not feel pressured. Any advice if he doesn’t respond? Should I tell him I want to discuss this more over the phone/video chat? Any advice would be appreciated! Edited October 29, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fixed post
health Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Talk to him. Listen to him. Resolve it and meet.
Author mmx Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 How do I do that if he won't respond?
basil67 Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 You suggested a weekend, he bought you a flight and you flaked at the last minute. Of course he's upset. You've wasted his time and money. I doubt you'll hear from him again.
Author mmx Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 You suggested a weekend, he bought you a flight and you flaked at the last minute. Of course he's upset. You've wasted his time and money. I doubt you'll hear from him again. He did cancel it within the 24 hours, so he got a full refund on the ticket. Is there anything I can do to get him to talk to me about it?
carhill Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Try calling him and leaving a voice mail if he doesn't answer. If nothing back, time to move on.
basil67 Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Glad he got his money back. I can't see why he'd bother with you further though.
schlumpy Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 I don't know what your fears are. You run when he asks you be with him at a reception. It was probably all he could arrange on such short notice since he was obligated to go. He shows such a keen interest in you that he pays for a flight just to see you and you run again. How do you get to know someone if you never meet and do things together? If you were worried about being alone with him a state away then you could have invited him to visit you. I mean there were other things you could have done to maintain safety and yet still demonstrate your interest. Instead you tell him you want to meet someone local - great signaling that was. Maybe you have one more chance with him if you quit fading away. But I'd say forget about this guy and find that local guy you mentioned. I just don't see the interest on your part and at least you won't be jerking this guy around anymore so he can get on with his own business.
healing light Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Yeah, I don't know why you're surprised to be honest. From his perspective, it looks like you yanked his chain and flake when it has a chance of becoming real.
Ami1uwant Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 He did cancel it within the 24 hours, so he got a full refund on the ticket. Is there anything I can do to get him to talk to me about it? My feeling is he is interested in you but on the fence given the distance between you two. If he travels to where you live frequently because of family thrn makes efgot to have a date with him when he is in town and see what happens. I understand your concern of traveling out to visit him. Unsure where he lives but if it’s a large city the way you coukd fo it islook at it as a weekend trip where you’d stay in a downtown hotel Friday and Saturday night. You have a date for Friday night and see how it goes. He doesn’t know ehat hotel you are staying at. For Saturday you have a back up p,an where you can explore the city on your own. If things go well on Friday you can have a second date in Saturday.
winny Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Next time buy your own ticket. I am more concerned that a guy who is not your BF is buying you a ticket and you are okay with it. 2
ExpatInItaly Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Is there anything I can do to get him to talk to me about it? Not really, beyond asking if you can talk to him about it further. The rest has to come from him now.
vv3469802 Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Next time buy your own ticket. I am more concerned that a guy who is not your BF is buying you a ticket and you are okay with it. She isn't okay with it but she couldn't explain it to him in right time. The man felt euphoria when she accepted his invite and bought a flight immediately. That's a misunderstanding situation. Should I tell him I want to discuss this more over the phone/video chat? Of course, you should...Usually, man is the initiator of actions like that (I mean that men usually apologize first). But in your case, you 100% made mistake and you should make the first step.
stillafool Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 Of course, you should...Usually, man is the initiator of actions like that (I mean that men usually apologize first). But in your case, you 100% made mistake and you should make the first step. What does that mean? OP, it appears you lied about having a business trip and the guy saw through it. Why did you lie about a trip instead of being honest and telling him it was too soon to come visit him? Also I agree you should pay for your own ticket.
elaine567 Posted October 29, 2019 Posted October 29, 2019 She isn't okay with it but she couldn't explain it to him in right time. The man felt euphoria when she accepted his invite and bought a flight immediately. That's a misunderstanding situation. MMX is according to his profile a guy. It may or may not make a difference to the dynamics of the situation. I know many women are happy when guys take the lead and pay for trips, not sure if it works in the same way for guys? 1
Author mmx Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 He responded and said he does still want to get to know each other. I responded back last night about chatting on the phone and he hasn't responded. I want to explain things. How do I get him to talk about it over the phone?
Author mmx Posted October 29, 2019 Author Posted October 29, 2019 What does that mean? OP, it appears you lied about having a business trip and the guy saw through it. Why did you lie about a trip instead of being honest and telling him it was too soon to come visit him? Also I agree you should pay for your own ticket. I did not lie about the business trip. That is true.
basil67 Posted October 30, 2019 Posted October 30, 2019 How do I get him to talk about it over the phone? You can't get him to do anything he doesn't want to do. At this point, all you can do is leave the ball in his court.
Recommended Posts