Author max3732 Posted November 15, 2019 Author Posted November 15, 2019 (edited) Silent cues (My favourite!) Unless a guy is uber-confident with the words (no shaky voice/stutters/gulping/staring at his shoes etc), I'd recommend doing the silent cues. I can't see this backfiring, since you make it seem like you're taking the first step but you're actually giving her a chance to turn things down. Once the dinner's over and you walk over to a quieter spot - say, her car - let there be a second or two when nothing's said. Start small... tucking a hair behind her ear... taking a few fingers of hers in your palm and then her whole hand... if she recoils, you've got your answer - but, you will not come across as creepy. Then, graze her cheek with a thumb. Escalate to holding it. Wait a second, so she still knows she can step back. If she doesn't, voila - you've got your answer. Don't break eye-contact throughout any of it. Gives the message, "I know what I want. I'm making sure it's what you want too!" With the silent cues you mention "escalate to holding it". Do you mean holding her hand or holding my hand on her cheek? I've got a couple first dates coming up as well as my 3rd date with the one I mentioned here. Edited November 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited
Silver_star Posted November 15, 2019 Posted November 15, 2019 Don't overthink it, but start small and listen and watch for her cues. Is she making eye contact? Is she walking close to you? Use opportunities to extend your hand and be a gentleman to show you that you are taking care of her. Open the door for her, compliment her outfit or her eyes/hair, take her coat, smile at her, wink if you are feeling bold....little flirtations like that are also signalling to her that she can move ahead and touch your arm or grab as you walk down the street etc. It's those small things that are like the testing water for maybe more physical contact.
Billiam Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 I never make a move; eventually she will jump me. If I don't find the conversation and interaction stimulating, then I stop seeing her. Otherwise, over the course of our continued interaction, she will have to make the first move. This is a natural consequence of feminism; it's time for her to make the decision as to when physical contact begins. Besides, I can wait forever; my libido is very low.
lavenderandvelvet Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 (edited) Good luck with that. While I am happy to touch And send some signals. If that is not reciprocated and escalated, I assume it is not welcome. Edited November 16, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed
OatsAndHall Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 Go on a walk with her, chat, inch closer and then take a hold of her hand. Now you've sparked a minor level of physical intimacy, she'll be easier to read and you can move on from there. After a date or two, holding hands while on a walk is pleasant and soothing and it's the perfect icebreaker in this aspect. It is a small token of affection, it's not invasive and it shows that you have the self-confidence to take that step forward. This has only resulted in one awkward situation for me, compared to the many that weren't. And, if I'm being honest, I rolled the dice in that awkward situation as she was difficult to read.
Author max3732 Posted November 16, 2019 Author Posted November 16, 2019 Go on a walk with her, chat, inch closer and then take a hold of her hand. Now you've sparked a minor level of physical intimacy, she'll be easier to read and you can move on from there. After a date or two, holding hands while on a walk is pleasant and soothing and it's the perfect icebreaker in this aspect. It is a small token of affection, it's not invasive and it shows that you have the self-confidence to take that step forward. This has only resulted in one awkward situation for me, compared to the many that weren't. And, if I'm being honest, I rolled the dice in that awkward situation as she was difficult to read. I've got a 1st date today where I'm meeting someone for lunch and we will naturally walk to our cars afterwards. Aside from trying to be more relaxed and playful I'd really like to do try the minor touching like the small of her back or brushing her shoulder. The hand seems like a bit step for me, but I will see how things go
OatsAndHall Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 I've got a 1st date today where I'm meeting someone for lunch and we will naturally walk to our cars afterwards. Aside from trying to be more relaxed and playful I'd really like to do try the minor touching like the small of her back or brushing her shoulder. The hand seems like a bit step for me, but I will see how things go You REALLY have to read someone on a first date before initiating any physical contact. The first date really isn't a "date"; it's just an ice breaker/meet up. I make damn sure they're into me before trying to make any physical contact during the first "date". So, I would suggest that you avoid initiating any physical contact with this one. She might be into you but you could blow the whole deal by brushing next to her or putting your hand in the small of her back.
Zinging Posted November 16, 2019 Posted November 16, 2019 With the silent cues you mention "escalate to holding it". Do you mean holding her hand or holding my hand on her cheek? I've got a couple first dates coming up as well as my 3rd date with the one I mentioned here. Yes... this, of course, is stage 2 - ish! By holding it, I was referring to letting your thumb/back of a finger linger on her cheek. I'd think that grazing the cheek is a step above holding someone's hand... 1
lavenderandvelvet Posted November 17, 2019 Posted November 17, 2019 Yes... this, of course, is stage 2 - ish! By holding it, I was referring to letting your thumb/back of a finger linger on her cheek. I'd think that grazing the cheek is a step above holding someone's hand... I don’t know. I can think of people who grazed my cheek, but never held my hand. It seems that different people do the hand holding. They potentially seem to have more interest.
Recommended Posts