I had an amazing date this evening, but now I won't be able to see her for a month

[alphamale]

I went back to her place, had her three persian cats, as well as her, show me a lot of love and affection.

 

TB are those the cats with smashed in faces and long hair?

[mark clemson]

So did she spike her coffee?

 

 

[Trail Blazer]

TB are those the cats with smashed in faces and long hair?

 

The pugs of the cat world, except hers have fairly short hair.

[Trail Blazer]

So did she spike her coffee?

 

 

 

Did who spike whose coffee?

[BaileyB]

Worst case scenario - she minimized her drinking, got defensive and denied/does not remember the comment, and shifted the blame to your friends.

 

Typical behavior for an individual who has an issue with alcohol.

[Trail Blazer]

Worst case scenario - she minimized her drinking, got defensive and denied/does not remember the comment, and shifted the blame to your friends.

 

Typical behavior for an individual who has an issue with alcohol.

Worst case scenario? Yeah, pretty much. Even then, I think the whole thing is blown out of proportion.

 

I'm not wanting to take sides, but I do have to say that I'm struggling to think of a time where she would have said what she'd allegedly said, when I was by her side the whole night. I didn't even go to the bathroom once in the two hours or so we were there.

 

I think the only time it could have been construed that she said those things was the time I'd mentioned previously. However, like I'd said before, her recollection was exactly how I saw it. Who knows, maybe she recalls a time when I wasn't paying attention and knows that I couldn't have known. But then, if she was that observant, how drunk could she be?

 

In any case, I'm going to let it slide and give her the benefit of the doubt. I just don't think this particular group of friends and my date, should we progress to anything more serious, will ever really have much to do with each other again.

[rightondude]

and if it does progress, tough, they will just have to deal with it and learn to love her like you will. I mean how bad could it have been? Sounded kinda funny to me actually. At least she didn't mouse up and stay in her shell all night.

[ThorntonMelon]

Honestly I'd say the whole thing is a big nothing burger She sounds fun to me.

[Trail Blazer]

That's it, guys. I really like her. She's fun, she's funny, she's smart, super cute, and she digs me something fierce! I'm keen to see where it goes.

[chillii]

Then yeppa. go with it baby.

Good luck

[Trail Blazer]

Thanks guys. Also, I decided against seeing that girl in Idaho. I'm over here in Boise visiting Mom for Thanksgiving. I could have made the time, but I have instead set my profile on Bumble and Tinder to invisible.

[dramallama]

Also, I decided against seeing that girl in Idaho.

 

 

Good! If you like this one, keep a nice clean slate - there's nothing like grey beginnings to seed mistrust and doubt later on.

[Trail Blazer]

Good! If you like this one, keep a nice clean slate - there's nothing like grey beginnings to seed mistrust and doubt later on.

Absolutely! And so, after a wonderful six days spent in Boise with Mom and her partner's family for Thanksgiving, I'm heading back to Portland tomorrow.

 

If all goes well and my flight isn't cancelled due to the weather, I'm catching up with my date for a cozy night of Netflix and chillin'.

[mark clemson]

Good for you. The spiking the coffee post was just a joke wondering (if she was really a boozer) if she spiked her coffee at your coffee date. Just a joke tho.

[Trail Blazer]

Good for you. The spiking the coffee post was just a joke wondering (if she was really a boozer) if she spiked her coffee at your coffee date. Just a joke tho.

 

Oh, right! That one went straight over my head! I did say to myself before our coffee date, "I wonder if her version of grabbing coffee is in fact an Espresso Martini?" Alas, she settled for a latte, which rendered our last night together alcohol-free!

[Trail Blazer]

So, I fly back to work Tuesday morning, which marks three weeks, two having spent with my date, and one with mom in Idaho.

 

In the week gone by, we have had three dates, two of which were spent out and about, braving the freeze for the day, the other at my house, where I invited her over for dinner, wine and a night of relaxation on the couch.

 

I think I can say comfortably that we're now, if not in a committed relationship, certainly giving the waters of exclusivety a good workout.

 

We did have a few good D&Ms, where she told me that she has clinical depression and takes low-dose medication for.  I have not dated someone who has had depression before, but she seems to cope okay - at least so far from what I can tell.

 

I will keep an eye on her alcohol consumption.  It does seem as though, when given the opportunity, she'll drink quite heavily. 

 

She guzzled over one bottle of red at my house, whilst I had the other two-thirds, and a few beers.  She was fairly well drunk by that point, but it was okay - she was staying the night.

 

I did have an unfortunate incident later on the next day, which was the Saturday morning after she left. 

 

I picked up my kids from my ex-wife's house and when we got back to mine, my nine-year-old daughter wanted to charge her Tablet with my cell phone charger.  So, I told my daughter to put in on charge in my bedroom.

 

My daughter put her tablet on charge, then asked me why there was a red dress and panties on my bedroom floor.  I got up in shock, looked and realized that she'd left her thong and red dinner dress on her side of the bed.

 

When my date had left, she did not leave my place Saturday morning wearing the same clothes.  It didn't occur to me that she didn't take her dress (or panties).  I had not gone into my room since, as we both left at the same time after having breakfast.

 

I was a little speechless when my daughter asked me.  I really had nothing to say other than the truth.  I told her they belonged to my friend and that shr forgot to take them the next day.

 

As innocent as children are, my daughter further asked me, "Oh daddy, if she left without taking her dress, I hope she didn't drive home naked."  I laughed uncomfortably and said, "no darling, she left wearing more comfortable clothes to drive home in."

 

I'm unsure if my daughter will tell or mother, or in fact my 13-year-old son.  If she does, so be it, really.  I guess I just didn't want this entering the conversation for a while.

 

My kids accepted my previous girlfriend with open arms, and were upset when we broke up.  I don't really want them thinking dad goes through women quickly, so I really wanted to keep this on the lowdown for as long as possible.

 

I spoke with my date (I'm not going to refer to her as girlfriend just yet, even though we're getting close).  She was mortified and apologized profusely.  She said, "OMG, I'm such an idiot!  I can't believe I didn't even consider that.  I'm really sorry, I'm not really used to dating guys with kids."

 

We've caught up again since, and it wad all good.  I genuinely believe that she totally forgot.  I can't imagine there being any more to it.  I did just ask her to be careful next time, though.

 

I don't return from work until NYE.  My date told me that her best friend from elementary school will be having a NYE party in passing.  She told me she hasn't decided what she will do for NYE yet, only to say, "Ideally it will be something with you."

 

I guess she's already met some of my buddies (which didn't go down that well), so she's probably thinking I may as well meet her's, who, apparently, know all about me anyway.

 

I guess we'll see what happens and cross that bridge when we get there.

[rightondude]

whoa man she must have had a bit of a hangover and was in a major rush if she forgot her dress and thong (awesome she wears thongs though). Or she's already started nesting!  

 

Y'all will probably tone down the drinking as the relationship progresses. At least that's what happened in my case. At the onset, it really lubricates the gears nicely to get a good buzz, but as you spend more time together it will hopefully require less quantity. 

 

Go for it on NYE and get her friends' approval! Good luck brother.

 

[Mr. Lucky]

9 hours ago, Trail Blazer said:

 I will keep an eye on her alcohol consumption.  It does seem as though, when given the opportunity, she'll drink quite heavily. 

 

She guzzled over one bottle of red at my house, whilst I had the other two-thirds, and a few beers.  She was fairly well drunk by that point, but it was okay - she was staying the night.

 

 

 

Given the previous incident with your friends in the bar, isn't this level of alcohol consumption alarming?  It's just not the vibe I'd want around my kids, and in my experience usually drags other issues with it.  It's also an unwise approach for someone suffering from depression or on anti-depressants...

 

Mr. Lucky

Edited December 9, 2019 by Mr. Lucky

[smackie9]

I say that's a pretty big red flag...a depressed person drinking that much, to the point they are out of it enough to forget their clothes from the night before. ugh!

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, rightondude said:

 Or she's already started nesting!  

 

With respect, she shouldn’t be nesting after three dates.

 

I continue to have concern with the amount of alcohol this woman drinks - perhaps self medicating her depression? It’s not wise to drink this much when taking an antidepressant. Red flags all around.

[fishlips]

TB,

I have to agree with the others. She sounds like a nice woman, but she was blitzed on two out of three dates. Plus, she's on medication for depression, which doesn't mix well with alcohol.

 

Your daughter sounds precious. It's too bad she had to see that, but you handled it well. Kids weren't born yesterday.

 

Please be careful.

[Trail Blazer]

On 12/10/2019 at 4:45 AM, smackie9 said:

I say that's a pretty big red flag...a depressed person drinking that much, to the point they are out of it enough to forget their clothes from the night before. ugh!

I really don't think being drunk (she seemed remarkably not drunk before we headed to bed) the night before had anything to do with forgetting her clothes.  I think she simply forgot.

 

She didn't seem hungover at all the morning after.  I asked her how she felt and she said she was a tad seedy, but after having breakfast was feeling great.

[Trail Blazer]

On 12/10/2019 at 5:12 AM, fishlips said:

TB,

I have to agree with the others. She sounds like a nice woman, but she was blitzed on two out of three dates. Plus, she's on medication for depression, which doesn't mix well with alcohol.

 

Your daughter sounds precious. It's too bad she had to see that, but you handled it well. Kids weren't born yesterday.

 

Please be careful.

I get the concerns of you and others.  I wouldn't be saying it myself if it wasn't slightly concerning.

 

It will be a long while before she meets my children.  I have been in no rush to find another relationship, but I'm happy to slowly have a go here because I actually really like her.

 

Despite her few red flags, I do think she's a very honest and genuine person.  I don't get any other bad vibes from her.

 

She seems to adore me and is always asking me how my kids are, but not in a creepy/obsessive way. 

 

She only told me the other day that she used to be an elementary school teacher, among the various other things she's done.  However, she's assured me that becoming a vet will be her "forever career."

 

What I really do like about her is the conversations we have.  I love spending time with her.  We laugh constantly, cover a million different topics which we seem to be on the same page with on most.

 

To figure out whether we can work in the long run will just take time.  I'm pragmatic and don't fall head-over-heals like I have done previously.  The head will rule over the heart from now on.

 

The head is saying "proceed with caution" which is exactly what I'm doing.

[Trail Blazer]

On 12/10/2019 at 3:16 AM, rightondude said:

Go for it on NYE and get her friends' approval! Good luck brother.

 

 

Thanks bro!  We'll see how we go.  She told me she thinks her friends would "love me."  I'm not sure... she's from the posh end of town, her friends are all post-grad successful professionals.  If they're not snobs then I should be all right!  If they are... too bad anyway!  Haha!

[mark clemson]

Sounds like a decent start with great potential if there's not hidden sides to the story and the drinking tones down.

 

Consider doing no-booze dates. You don't have to make a big deal out of it nor go zero-tolerance or anything, but consider that your (mutual) emotional connection may get even better/more authentic without booze-goggles on.