AnnaN88 Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 This is a weird story... I met a guy online a few months ago. Just before going on our first date I realised that I saw this guy at some corporate events at work ( I have not talked to him directly, but I knew exactly who he was). After a very good first date, I decided to look him up online and I was shocked: I found out that he had a long term partner (a journalist who was also writing dating advice for a newspaper) and that googling his name would automatically link it to the journalist’s name. Funnily enough, while we were chatting online he was very transparent about his career etc so I never thought that he could hide a serious relationship that was in the spotlight. Also I never knew that she was a public figure. I did not confront him, because I was scared that I might meet him at work at one point. Anyways, he kept on touch and seemed very genuine and nice. I became more curious about his personal life. For example, he does not have any pictures at all with his partner on social media but I could see that they live in the same house and also were on holiday in the same location in the same time. His partner goes on holidays with other guys as well. It looks as if they have an open relationship, but they still live under the same roof. This is just an assumption. He invited me recently to a theatre were his girlfriend is an habitué, which I find weird for a cheater. He is very polite, so he doesn’t come across as someone who wants to have casual sex. And if that was the case, why would reveal his identity online when anyone can google him? I don’t know if I should simply move on or try to be straight forward and tell him the truth.
alphamale Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 ahh yeah this sounds a little creepy - think long and hard before proceeding 1
hannahl9811 Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 Definitely move on. As good as the first date was, there are some serious red flags here. If you don’t acknowledge them and get yourself moved on now, you’ll be doing ten times the work and damage control later on. 1
Gretchen12 Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 My guess is he went online dating after they broke up. When you google, you get some old info. For example address info are often not up to date til a year later.
chillii Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 Yeah l was thinking could be something like that too.
Author AnnaN88 Posted October 28, 2019 Author Posted October 28, 2019 My guess is he went online dating after they broke up. When you google, you get some old info. For example address info are often not up to date til a year later. I thought so too, but I saw from Instagram that they still share the house. The pictures are taken in the same house, although they are never together.
schlumpy Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 Whether you move on or not depends on whether you are looking for a serious relationship or just some fun. Part of your interest seems to be this mystery you have pieced together through internet searches. Get the facts before you get in any deeper.
stillafool Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 There is no way I would let this type of info pass without asking him about it before we dated. I wouldn't waste one minute of my time on someone else's man. Find out if the info is true by asking him. 1
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 When I was online dating the very first question I asked was how long they had been single. Usually they would give me the short version of their last relationship. So Instead of assuming all sorts of things why don't you ask him how long he's been single, where he lives now, etc etc. Sure googling is nice but could have you assume all sorts of distorted reality. .
kendahke Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 (edited) He might be scouting for a 3rd partner for the threesome. You really have nothing to lose by point blank asking him--and with the truth on your side, you should fear nothing and no one. He's not available to you going by his social media truth, so there is nothing here between you two to prevent you from asking. It's not like you really have a chance with him if this well known woman is his partner and they're going about their business as if that is the case, (i.e. different pics of them in the same house) Edited October 28, 2019 by kendahke
Michelle ma Belle Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 (edited) Sadly, this doesn't sound as unusual as you might think. I've certainly encountered my share of attached men seeking companionship in one way or another. No matter how you slice it, he's lying by omission. A lot of men (and women) do this thinking it gets them off on a technicality. I agree with the member who said you seem more fascinated with the mystery of it all and piecing together all the bits and pieces than anything else which would explain why you haven't confronted him. I get that. I've been guilty of it as well. Sometimes the mystery and the curiosity is just as fulfilling as dating can be in terms of a distraction. Regardless, I'd tread carefully with this one. Edited October 28, 2019 by Michelle ma Belle 1
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