harnold Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 So I went on my first online date late night. Hers too. We hadn't talked much prior so didn't really know what she was like. Started off lukewarm and not much chemistry initially - but got much better as date went on. I could see she was starting to like me more towards the end based off mannerisms, but still not much physicality towards me. She said she was traditional, but to me that's just a way of being nice. Who knows. She did seem like the goodie goodie type to me, but she definitely wasn't shy (in any case, perceptions are often wrong). Still, the date lasted 5 plus hours despite it just being only a dinner date. We were both kinda surprised how fast time flew by. She walked ahead of me when we went to her car, and when I went to kiss her she said 'not ready for anything yet'. Despite this, she told me she wants to see me again, and was suggesting 2nd date ideas, and she texted me the night/day after. Who knows. Is this a dead end? Do 'traditional girls' like this actually exist or is it moreso a sign... I usually am more of a 'hookup' guy so formal 'dates' are a bit new to me esp ones with 'no action'. I guess we'll find out soon enough where this goes in any case
preraph Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 And how old are you? I mean, she's just not getting anything physical started yet, but likes you enough for a second date. Or supposedly. So make one and see if she was serious about going on a second date or not. She's obviously not a hookup type, so if that's all you want, you ought to just tell her you are only looking to hook up.
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 What's your end goal? Is it another hookup or getting an actual girlfriend?
beowulf44 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 What's your end goal? Is it another hookup or getting an actual girlfriend? I’m open to dating (relationships) but even all my relationships have just started as hookups that gradually turned into something more. Just trying to go with the flow really
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Ok, so go with the flow on this too. Just don't try and kiss her until you've developed mutual chemistry. That said, calling her a 'goodie goodie' is a bit rude...are you sure you respect her enough to do this?
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 It depends on what you want. Yes, some OLD sites have a reputation for putting sexually willing partners together. If you are after easy sex or even just more physical contact quickly, she's not your girl. If you like her too & think there is potential for a relationship, I think she would say yes to a 2nd date if you want one Since it was your 1st OLD date & you went to dinner I'm going to assume you didn't read the suggestions. Most sites recommend you pick a well lit neutral location for the 1st meet & you save expensive, long dates like dinner for further down the road. In the very beginning, keep your expectations low & keep the dates light fun & active to avoid awkward lulls.
Lotsgoingon Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 If you are going to go with the flow, then really go with the flow. Trying for a kiss when she showed no interest and was walking ahead of you, indicates you were going according to some preplanned program. No one accidentally walks in front of the other person at the end of a date. Pay attention to that. I've been on five-hour dates that were busts. Usually, we liked each other enough to just keep going ... I think we both were hoping some magic happened and none ever did. Doesn't sound like any deep chemistry here.
beowulf44 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 If you are going to go with the flow, then really go with the flow. Trying for a kiss when she showed no interest and was walking ahead of you, indicates you were going according to some preplanned program. No one accidentally walks in front of the other person at the end of a date. Pay attention to that. I've been on five-hour dates that were busts. Usually, we liked each other enough to just keep going ... I think we both were hoping some magic happened and none ever did. Doesn't sound like any deep chemistry here. Yeah, I’ve had other girls walk in front of me who I’ve hooked up w. But on the whole you’re prob right Oh well. Learning experience
Author harnold Posted November 3, 2019 Author Posted November 3, 2019 Update. Date 2. This one ended up being 12 hours. And no more weird kiss situation So weird how she didn’t want to kiss on that first date and yet there’s all this chemistry now nonetheless. My guess it’s a combination of 1) who she is in general 2) lack of flirtiness in the formal sit down date. I made sure to flirt much more aggressively this time around, and also the vibe in general was just better Just so interesting to me
lavenderandvelvet Posted November 3, 2019 Posted November 3, 2019 Update. Date 2. This one ended up being 12 hours. And no more weird kiss situation So weird how she didn’t want to kiss on that first date and yet there’s all this chemistry now nonetheless. My guess it’s a combination of 1) who she is in general 2) lack of flirtiness in the formal sit down date. I made sure to flirt much more aggressively this time around, and also the vibe in general was just better Just so interesting to me Lots of people do not like to kiss on the first date because it feels too intimate. She met you an hour ago - she may not want to swap sit yet. This is not a signal. Get over it and take it at the pace she is ok with.
Recommended Posts