Author ironpony Posted November 2, 2019 Author Posted November 2, 2019 Oh okay thanks. But neither of us are giving ultimatums, are we?
Inspire Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 Not yet ... but talk to her and let us know how it goes.
Berteau Posted November 2, 2019 Posted November 2, 2019 So why didn’t anyone offer to move in together in a cheaper apt??? It also shouldn’t just be about the money. You should want to live with her by this point. 1
Author ironpony Posted November 3, 2019 Author Posted November 3, 2019 Well it's also cause of my work and career situation, I thought that moving in together, would also create a new way of living that I would have to adjusted to, when I got so much else going on right now. But I can run the idea by her.
Author ironpony Posted November 5, 2019 Author Posted November 5, 2019 It sounds like you are using her for your own benefit and desires, when it's convenient for you and solely on your terms. After two years, if you're no where close to wanting to live with her, then marriage must be completely out of the question. I hope she realizes this and makes a sound decision on if she wants to keep wasting her time on a go-nowhere relationship. Oh, how so? That certainly was not my intention with her.
Rocker71 Posted November 5, 2019 Posted November 5, 2019 Ironpony, I can't help you with advice but if your girl asked me advice - I would definitely answer her: give him an ultimate, either me or the film!=) I would never move in with my gf. Been there, done that. Her wanting you to move in with her is her way of keeping you on a short leash. Moving in with any woman is the beginning of the end. I understand living with your parents isn't ideal. But trust me, save and get your own place where ONLY YOUR NAME is on the lease. Your priority should be the film you're working on. Not her. If she can't support your endeavors she's not worth having around. Let's run through the possibilities of you living with her: 1. You have to get a job you hate just to pay your part of the rent and monthly bills. Leaving you less time to pursue your dream of producing films - leading to resentment. 2. You, for some reason can't make your share of the rent and monthly expenses which will lead her to lose respect for you and you break up eventually. But you wasted all that time trying which you could've spend chasing your dreams. 3. Everything works out and you live happily ever after together. (Not likely) You gotta think this one through. I'd say go to YouTube and search "Tom Leykis Dream killers". Believe me on this: you getting your own place somehow, eventually, will get you respect from her and your folks. Moving in with a woman in your fragile financial condition can only be a desperation move. It's like admitting defeat. 1
Lucovit Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 She seemed really rejected when I turned her down on it. Don't get me wrong, we've dating for almost two years now and it's going pretty good. My reason was is that rent in her place, even if split would cost more for me still, and I might be out of a job soon, but also spending a lot of money on producing a feature film. If the movie gets distribution, I will hopefully make money back but if not, I might be in the poor house after it's over, so I don't know if I can move in right now. But she felt really rejected it seems now, that I have turned it down. Is there anything I should do, or how should I approach this? I do not get this. So she asked you to move in with her and you just said "no" and moved on to another topic to discuss? What? You did not explain why you couldn't or what the idea was? I seriously do not understand this. Moving together is a big step and usually it does require some discussion..... Weird, just weird.
Allupinnit Posted November 6, 2019 Posted November 6, 2019 (edited) I feel like a feature film is something you do on the side because as an adult, you need to be paying your own living expenses and it sounds like you just don't want to do that - just easier to live with Mom and Dad. You're not Steven Spielberg. After two years, it's time to sh*t or get off the pot with your gf whom no doubt is ready to get her life moving along. Edited November 6, 2019 by Allupinnit 1
Author ironpony Posted November 6, 2019 Author Posted November 6, 2019 Oh, it's just if filmmaking is my long term career goal, people were saying I should go for it, and concentrate on getting a first feature made to try to break in.
Author ironpony Posted November 6, 2019 Author Posted November 6, 2019 I do not get this. So she asked you to move in with her and you just said "no" and moved on to another topic to discuss? What? You did not explain why you couldn't or what the idea was? I seriously do not understand this. Moving together is a big step and usually it does require some discussion..... Weird, just weird. No I told her why, it was the reasons I said on here. I didn't move onto another topic.
Happy Lemming Posted November 7, 2019 Posted November 7, 2019 I would never move in with my gf. Been there, done that. Same here... Also, "Been there done that"... In the end it was a disaster and I lost money! To OP... Listen to men that have been through this "grist mill", don't make the same mistakes we did.
Rocker71 Posted November 7, 2019 Posted November 7, 2019 Oh, it's just if filmmaking is my long term career goal, people were saying I should go for it, and concentrate on getting a first feature made to try to break in. If that is your passion and your dream go for it full throttle. Steven Spielberg had to start somewhere, right? So what you'll be poor while chasing your dream... You'll make it. Just never quit or slow down. There's not one thing wrong with what you're doing. Don't let anyone try to talk you out of what you WANT to do. There's nothing wrong with trying to make it in the entertainment business. Yea, it's not a boring 9-5 job. But it's your dream and your passion. It's who you are. Go for it! I'll say it again. If your gf doesn't want to be part of that, she's not worth your attention. Let her go find some boring joe shmoe to make miserable instead. If you give up your dreams and passion in life you'll resent yourself and everyone in your life. Other women will make themselves available to you. She's not the only girl in the world. Live your passions and dreams!
Allupinnit Posted November 8, 2019 Posted November 8, 2019 Four years ago in 2015 he was living at home to "save up for a house." Now he's 35. OP, do you have to live with your parents due to your autism? Can you be honest with your romantic partners about that?
Author ironpony Posted November 9, 2019 Author Posted November 9, 2019 Oh well my parents keep telling me I can't make it on my own, but there are times when I so want to move out. However, they say do not buy a house until you've decided where to move to, cause you should live in that house for at least 10 years before selling, if that's true. So I feel I have to secure a job in the entertainment industry first, to know where I am going to buy house therefore, if that makes sense? Yes I told my gf this as well.
elaine567 Posted November 9, 2019 Posted November 9, 2019 Oh well my parents keep telling me I can't make it on my own. Why do they say that? What makes them think you are incapable of living independently? How much do your parents do for you on a day to day basis?
Author ironpony Posted November 14, 2019 Author Posted November 14, 2019 Oh I just have the place to sleep but sometimes I forget to open my mail so they do that for me. I feel I can learn to open my mail in time, before bills need to be paid with practice though. I just get so busy I forget. But they also get the mail before I come home from work a lot too, so maybe if I got to it first, then I would know I have it. But I think that's the only thing that I can think of right now.
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