Love2015 Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 A friend of mine Dad passed away 10 years ago and the day of the anniversary commented it to their partner of less than 5 months long. My friend came to me concerned as when they told them ...the partner started telling how they lost their parent too and it is hard. The concern of my friend was that after sometime ..it ended up my friend consoling them instead of feeling supported for their feelings. I am worried my friend may be with a selfish person. My friend ended up saying they felt worse in the end and not supported. As a third party what can I advice?
stillafool Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 I advise you to stay out of it. Perhaps when she brought up her father's death it triggered something deep within the other person about their dad's death. I am sure they didn't intend to make it about them instead of your friend; but death is a sensitive subject. If I were your friend after the other person finished unloading about their father I would have went back to talking about mine. There's nothing wrong with each person supporting the other.
basil67 Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 The key words in this are "after some time...it ended up as my friend consoling them". I take this to mean that there was a fair exchange of mutual support before this happened. And I agree with stillafool that death is sensitive and complicated. The partner may well be still grieving terribly.
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