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Ex is giving me mixed signals. I don’t know what he wants or what I should do.

Marissa-Cath

By Marissa-Cath
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Marissa-Cath Member

Marissa-Cath

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My ex left me for another girl. However, he wanted to be friends. I knew this wasn’t the best thing to do so I decided to quit contacting him and ignore him. It drove him NUTS. He kept on begging me to talk to him. I remember giving in to his emotions and telling him we were still friends. He eventually saw through it when I started to ignore him again. He was so unhappy. He said he missed what we used to have together. He misses being my favorite person. He misses being a high priority in my life. He misses when I was excited to talk to him. However, I TRIED explaining to him that he’s not my bf anymore so he has to adjust. Then, he complains that my new relationship will make him forget about him. He seems jealous and he keeps on telling me and himself it’s a rebound.

 

He tells me he just really wants to be friends with me... but he’s giving me mixed signals that he’s into me. Then, he said when we were friends before we dated that he was still my favorite person and a high priority (which is true). He then complains that he doesn’t like how he’s “just a friend I talk to sometimes” now. Is he into me or does he just genuinely want to be best friends?

 

Also, by the way, if im trying to get back with him, should I try to be close friends to rekindle the attraction and bond?

ajequals Established Member

ajequals

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being he left you for someone else I can't see trusting him not to do it again. even though he wants you back or so it seems do you feel the same towards him?

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Marissa-Cath Member

Marissa-Cath

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I do trust him, and I know why he left me for someone else. I truly want him back. Also, I mean, does he want me back or does he just want to be my friend? Also, what actions should I take? Should I be his friend or be difficult?

stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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You need to ask him if he wants you back or is he looking for a friendship. If he says to get back together then do, if he only is offering friendship you have to wish him well and walk away. Then ask for no contact so you can get over him.

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Marissa-Cath Member

Marissa-Cath

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If he wanted be back he would of told me. Also, I was walking away for the past theee weeks. I’m just starting up again and seeing how he feels now.

LizardWizard24 Member

LizardWizard24

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My ex left me for another girl. However, he wanted to be friends. I knew this wasn’t the best thing to do so I decided to quit contacting him and ignore him. It drove him NUTS. He kept on begging me to talk to him.

 

How long did it take for him to contact you after you went no contact?

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Flame Aura Established Member

Flame Aura

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What you need to do is cut him out of your life COMPLETELY.

 

 

Do not fall for his BS. He is extremely extremely selfish. All he cares about is himself. He left you cos HE wanted to be with another girl. He contacts you because HE wants to be your friend and HE wants to still feel like your priority, all for his own benefit. Where has he once thought about you and your feelings? He hasn't. It's all about him and his feelings.

 

 

He already decided you were not good enough to be in a relationship with. Why on Earth would you ever want to go back to someone like that? It would only be a matter of time until he found someone else and jumped to her and dropped you again.

 

 

Please have some self respect and find someone else who appreciates you for you.

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stillafool Established Member

stillafool

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If he wanted be back he would of told me. Also, I was walking away for the past theee weeks. I’m just starting up again and seeing how he feels now.

 

Still, the only real way to know what he wants from you is to ask him. Why is that hard to do?

schlumpy Established Member

schlumpy

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You want him back? Can't do better, eh? Ok.

 

The next time you are having a friendly chat explain to him that you and he are either a couple or it's NC. No friendship will be considered.

 

That will resolve the issue for you. All doubts will be banished.

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d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

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Is he into me or does he just genuinely want to be best friends?

 

Also, by the way, if im trying to get back with him, should I try to be close friends to rekindle the attraction and bond?

 

he left you for another girl & tells you he wants to be best friends. He is not actually giving you mixed messages. You don't understand the message he is giving you. He's playing games. He doesn't want you which is why he went to the other girl. However, he doesn't want you to move on from him because he wants you as a back up plan, faithful little Marissa-Cath waiting & pining for him. He likes that fact that you still care.

 

Being his close friend in the hopes that it will rekindle the attraction is the worst thing you can do. If you sit around, he's getting exactly what he wants with no effort on his part. It will cement in his mind that you are a door mat, with no self respect who he can manipulate & no matter what he does you will still be there. You will further diminish yourself in his eyes

 

He broke up with you. Do not accept the lesser relationship -- friends or worse FWB. Slam the door on that part of your life & move forward without him with your head held high. Go NC to maintain your dignity because right now by hanging around & letting him dictate terms all you are doing is debasing yourself.

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Marissa-Cath Member

Marissa-Cath

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How long did it take for him to contact you after you went no contact?

 

The first time, he contacted me ONE DAY after no contact asking, “Are you okay?”

ExpatInItaly Established Member

ExpatInItaly

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You need to work on your self-esteem, OP.

 

When you do, you will wonder why you didn't value yourself enough to not entertain this little's punk's games and drop him for good.

 

He doesn't want you back because he's crazy about you, or anything that would lead to a healthy and lasting reconciliation. He keeps sniffing around because you stroke his ego with your attention and affection. He doesn't want to lose you as his Back-up Girl. He loves that you want him, but the feeling isn't mutual. This is all about his ego and his need to feel desired, and not about you being a great person and good partner. It doesn't matter if he texted you after just one day. He doesn't text you because he misses you; he texts you because he misses the pedestal you put him on. That's a totally different issue that you are evidently having some trouble seeing.

 

He will do this again if you're foolish enough to let him come back. Only a matter of time. Mark my words.

Edited by ExpatInItaly
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kendahke Established Member

kendahke

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My ex left me for another girl. However, he wanted to be friends.

 

He can want til times get better but that doesn't mean you're obligated to entertain his wants. He's already got a brand new "friend" that he tossed you aside for--he can be friends with her.

 

He kept on begging me to talk to him. I remember giving in to his emotions and telling him we were still friends. He eventually saw through it when I started to ignore him again. He was so unhappy. He said he missed what we used to have together. He misses being my favorite person. He misses being a high priority in my life. He misses when I was excited to talk to him.

 

These are all boyfriend perks and as you so aptly told him:

 

he’s not my bf anymore so he has to adjust
.

 

This is what happens when you toss someone aside. He doesn't get to keep you on the side to make him feel better about throwing what you two had away. So selfish!!!

 

Then, he complains that my new relationship will make him forget about him. He seems jealous and he keeps on telling me and himself it’s a rebound.

Is that supposed to make how he treated you better?

 

What exactly were his reasons for breaking up with you and chasing in behind this new chick? And was he cheating (emotionally or otherwise) with her behind your back?

 

He tells me he just really wants to be friends with me... but he’s giving me mixed signals that he’s into me. Then, he said when we were friends before we dated that he was still my favorite person and a high priority (which is true). He then complains that he doesn’t like how he’s “just a friend I talk to sometimes” now.

 

Waaaaaaaaaaah!!! Too bad.

 

All actions have consequences and he's not above meeting his.

 

Is he into me or does he just genuinely want to be best friends?

 

No, he's not into you. He's into you not moving on. He's into his selfishness and he thinks you're only good enough to be his other woman.

 

Also, by the way, if im trying to get back with him, should I try to be close friends to rekindle the attraction and bond?

 

You really want to be that chick? The one who makes full on meals out of crumbs? The one who chases a guy who threw her over for another chick who's going to be spending the upcoming holidays with her?

 

Tell him to dump the new chick and then and only then will you CONSIDER taking him back and being his friend... but in reality, if one of your bbf's did something like this to you, would you want to be friends with someone who has shown you what they're capable of doing to you--despite what they claim to feel about you?

 

He's being territorial--he's not into you. If he was, you wouldn't be the ex he's trying to turn into a side piece right now. Dignity, my dear--it's a thing.

Edited by kendahke
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