Love2015 Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 Hi, I am curious about the following. In my dating experience I have friend zoned some guys and they chose to be friends. However, I now realize it's because I didn't like them sexually and had no intent of being with them but they were nice people. When roles reversed and one gets friend zoned...I am curious if this is a tactic for men to actually get to know the girl beyond the sex. I am asking as one of my past dates...we only kissed and he decided to friend zone me. He wants to meet up and all but none sexually. Does this mean he likes me for real? And wants to get to know me? He doesn't like me but doesn't have anyone? I mean how much time would anyone waste to keep someone who they have no feelings for around? Any thoughts? 1
Interstellar Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 If a guy friend zones you it’s either he’s not physically attracted to you -or- you may have rejected/slighted him in the past.
basil67 Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 No, it means he likes you as a friend or companion. It's no different to the men you don't see yourself dating but are happy to spend time with.
Juha Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 A woman being friend zoned by a guy is not a common thing. Usually a guy will just say not interested and move on.
chillii Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 Ahhh, nope. For you it means your not attracted to them in that way well, goes both ways, he's not interested in you in that way. Doesn't matter if he has someone or not , you don't go trying to fit square pegs in round holes ahh , scuse pun , just because you don't have anyone. Well , ya wasting your time if you do anyway. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 When roles reversed and one gets friend zoned...I am curious if this is a tactic for men to actually get to know the girl beyond the sex. I am asking as one of my past dates...we only kissed and he decided to friend zone me. He wants to meet up and all but none sexually. Does this mean he likes me for real? And wants to get to know me? He doesn't like me but doesn't have anyone? I mean how much time would anyone waste to keep someone who they have no feelings for around? Any thoughts? I have never known a man to Friend Zone a woman he actually likes and wants to date. So, in short, no, this does not mean he likes you for real. It means he is not attracted to you enough to try to date you. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have other romantic prospects. He might enjoy your company and think you're cool to talk to, but that's as far as it goes for him. 3
Blind-Sided Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 (edited) A woman being friend zoned by a guy is not a common thing. I have never known a man to Friend Zone a woman he actually likes and wants to date.... Guys do it too. Over the years, I've had at least 4 girls that I friended, but continued to go out with. ( and many more I would just flirt with) One of those girls was a great friend, and we would go out all the time. (Dinner, shopping, clubs, so on) A second one was a girl at my first real job out of college. We would get lunch, and she would even ride on the back of my motorcycle. A third girl was someone I would hang out with in college, and she was a great help with my recovery in my divorce. Since our friendship was 20 years deep... and she knew both me and my EX... she really wanted to help. Funny thing was, after spending time together again, she told me she really wanted to be on my EX's side, but she just couldn't. In these cases, the girls were people I was attracted to, but I knew they had other issues that would keep me from wanting a long term relationship with them. BUT... they were a lot of fun to hang out with. BUT, I'm very glad that I fostered relationships with girls. Now... to take your side... since guys tend to be more of the "Sexual Conquest" mind set... I will agree that many guys will get what they want, and move on. (but not all) Edited October 22, 2019 by Blind-Sided 1
smackie9 Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 Guys think and look at things differently. They don't friend zone you to "get to know you better" or "try to emotionally bond" first before possibly wanting a relationship. That's what women do. You being a woman, you are thinking like one. Men are more black and white, and mean what they say. This guy thinks you have a great personality but there is something that doesn't attract them physically. Us women know the majority of guys don't waste their time because they want to spend their energy getting laid, not making friends. But in this situation, this doesn't apply. He most likely has other females whom he enjoys their company because he's just that way. 1
carhill Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 I am asking as one of my past dates...we only kissed and he decided to friend zone me. He wants to meet up and all but none sexually. Does this mean he likes me for real? And wants to get to know me? He doesn't like me but doesn't have anyone? I mean how much time would anyone waste to keep someone who they have no feelings for around? Any thoughts? IME with men of my generation: 1. Secretly partnered, married or LTR or steady girlfriend. 2. Back burner 3. Collector Even among my long-married friends, when the couples get together for larger events the women group together and the men group together for social stuff. Outside of marital companionship they have little in common to chat about in social situations. The men don't stand around and gush their feelings and the women roll their eyes at the latest deer killed or the latest motorcycle ride done. Different psychologies, different genders. Those who cross the line get poked at in friendly humor. Younger generations may be different but this is what I've observed over six+ decades with those of my generation, at all age points during that path. If a man is paying attention to a woman he wants to bang her, else he's hanging out with his male friends. He may not want to bang her today because of his wife or girlfriend, but maybe later. He's not going to gush over the latest cooking recipes, not if he's straight anyway. Gay guys are another matter altogether. Their psychology is different when it comes to women. I know many gay guys my age who hang out with women and enjoy them greatly. They bang men. It works. 1
babybrowns Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 I’ve been friendzoned by guys who were not attracted to me, as well as guys who were attracted to me. In the latter case, they would flirt and try to get me to go to their house/try to have an excuse to come to my house hoping for sex, but those that were not attracted never made any moves on me and were decent, platonic hosts if they invited me to their place.
SumGuy Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 It’s the same when you do it. He finds you interesting as a friend but doesn’t find you sexually attractive, just as he interacts with his male friends (assuming the hetero thing here). So if you like him as a friend spend time with him. Perhaps the only difference I believe is women can sometimes get out of the friend zone, being a good friend works with men, while men can rarely get out of the friend zone in my experience. 1
preraph Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 Be careful because there are some guys who use the "friend" word when all they mean is no-strings sex, too, in other words, no obligations, no intention of a relationship, nothing but sex. But I agree usually it means he's not that attracted to you sexually.
rjc149 Posted October 22, 2019 Posted October 22, 2019 (edited) Guys friend-zone women they like, but aren't all that sexually attracted to. This doesn't mean a guy won't have sex with a woman he isn't all that sexually attracted to. He certainly will. But he won't be inclined to date her romantically. I was seeing a girl a few years back, and I still hang out with her as a friend. She is a wonderful woman, but I just wasn't in love with her and (because) she didn't rev my engine physically. She had feelings for me, but I just didn't reciprocate so we broke it off and saw other people for a year or so. We reconnected as friends recently, and we've been going out to dinner, drinks, hiking, local car trips, etc. I've even slept over at her place after getting hammered. That doesn't mean I didn't try to get some hanky panky, but she declined, and I accepted that, because I won't take it any further than a hookup and that wouldn't be fair to her. So it's the friend-zone for both of us. And I kind of like it that way. Edited October 22, 2019 by rjc149 1
fromheart Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 I'll friend zone women who act mentally unstable and/or have a controlling nature, are inconsistent. Doesn't matter how hot they are.
smackie9 Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 I'll friend zone women who act mentally unstable and/or have a controlling nature, are inconsistent. Doesn't matter how hot they are. You make bat $@%# cray cray women your friend?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) In these cases, the girls were people I was attracted to, but I knew they had other issues that would keep me from wanting a long term relationship with them. BUT... they were a lot of fun to hang out with. BUT, I'm very glad that I fostered relationships with girls. Well, yes, that was exactly my point. You didn't want to date them in a serious capacity. Hang out, sure, but that is indeed the Friend Zone for the girls you didn't consider serious options. When I said men don't usually Friend Zone women they like, I assumed it was clear I meant like enough to date and develop a relationship with, since OP isn't here asking if these men like her as a friend. Edited October 23, 2019 by ExpatInItaly
chillii Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 (edited) l dunno , I've friended dozens of women over the years. Not as in a trying to be their friend way l don't usually bother being friends with women. But just in a non interested way l mean, say you met, you liked her , you know shes a nice chick buttttt, your just not into her in anything more. They never stick around anyway usually once they find out you don't want more, l know it'll go that way l don't care because l know said friendship will usually never go anywhere anyway , or else it'll just get complicated later somehow, it's just being polite. Edited October 23, 2019 by chillii 1
fromheart Posted October 23, 2019 Posted October 23, 2019 You make bat $@%# cray cray women your friend? Friendly towards, for the most part. Though I've found some of the crazies to be good mates, as their craziness only comes out in a romantic, sexual situation. There's also the possibility that they'll get the therapy they need someday.
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