sweetbrokensoul Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE REST OF THE STORY GO TO SPIRITUALTY AND RELIGIOUS BELIEFS UNDER WHAT AM I TO DO... i WAS WEAK -I CALLED HIM. WELL HIS RELATIVES KEEP CALLING MY HOME FOR HIM AND ITS PISSING ME OFF! SO I CALLED TO TELL HIM-NOT A GOOD EXCUSE I KNOW. BUT COME ON ITS BEEN 5 MONTHS SINCE HE HAS MOVED OUT GIVE ME A BREAK. WELL SHORTLY AFTER THE PHONE CALL WE GOT INTO IT AGAIN. ENDED UP IN TEARS, AND SADNESS AND PAIN. BUT I DID SOMETHING I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO DO FOR A LONG TIME-I WROTE DOWN WHAT I WAS FEELING EVERYTHING I WAS FEELING. IT HELPED SOMEWHAT. YEAH, HE APOLOGIZED FOR "CAUSING SO MUCH PAIN". HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THE HALF OF IT. NOW MY SON HAS BEEN VERY RUDE TO ME AND VERY DISRESPECTFUL-I KNOW HE IS LASHING OUT BECAUSE THE EX HASN'T CALLED HIM OR TALKED TO HIM. HE IS ONLY 6! I KNOW HE IS HURT TOO BUT AT 6 YRS. OLD-I AM NOT PUTTING UP WITH THE BEHAVIOR HE IS SHOWING. I AM STARTING OFF BY TAKING PRIVILEGES AWAY LITTLE BY LITTLE. I ASKED MY EX LAST NIGHT ON THE PHONE WHY HE CONTINUED THIS RELATIONSHIP KNOWING A CHILD WAS INVOLVED AND KNOWING THAT I WANTED A STEADY RELATIONSHIP AND HE SAID "I DIDN'T KNOW I WASN'T GOING TO BE THERE". OF COURSE HE DIDN'T HE WAS TOO BUSY CONSUMED IN HIS OWN PLEASURES. NOW THAT HE IS LIVING THE FULL CHRISTIAN LIFE BUT BETTER I MUST SAY -WE AREN'T GOOD ENOUGH HUH? AFTER I STUCK WITH HIM THROUGH THE HARD TIMES WHEN HE DIDNT HAVE A JOB, A CAR AND WAS TRYING TO QUIT SOME UNHEALTHY HABITS. BUT ONE DAY AT A TIME RIGHT? SO-HE TOLD ME HE IS CHANGING HIS NUMBER, WELL I ALREADY DISCONNECTED MINE. WHY IS HE STAYING IN MICHIGAN WHEN ALL HIS FAMILY IS IN TEXAS? NOTHING IS HERE FOR HIM. HE ONLY STAYED BECAUSE HE MET ME. HE ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT MOVING BACK-NOW HE WANTS TO STAY.aaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL MOVE ON, PAST THIS AND REMEMBER THAT THERE IS A DIFFERENT PLAN FOR ME, IT IS JUST SO HARD! THATS ALL -JUST WANTED TO LET IT OUT. THANKS
suegail Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 I'm really sorry this has happened to you. I did read your other post. I'm sorry your son is having a hard time with it also, and that's understandable and I know he probably can't grasp what has happened. It's just hard for him to have lost someone who was apparently a father figure in his life and he's reacting as children do. I guess it will just take time for both you and your son to get over this. I just know it's not easy and my heart goes out to you. It's good for you to have a place to vent, so do post as much as you want because there are so many here who've gone through similar experiences. Myself, I've never had to go through a breakup due to a difference in religious beliefs, but I've surely had my share of breakups for other reasons and I know it's a hard time, but of course you get through it. and you will.... Try to not allow this experience to have a negative impact on your self esteem. You are certainly as loved by God as anyone else in this world.
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