Lishy Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 It's 8am and i have been laying in bed for the last hour remembering what i shared with that guy and how i messed it up by acting like a 'freak' Because he was 'normal' and had his own life i would get so pissed if he did not call every day then i would stress over every minor detail. The guy did nothing wrong and he was so into me and i screwed that up by getting upset one minute and nonchalent the next. he honestly did not know where he stood with me at all and to be honest he must think i am nutso. When i look back at things i did i cringe - I basically starting using him as a booty call when i did not get the attention i wanted from him. The thing is i did not even give it time to grow before i was expecting the world from him. If he said anything i did not like i would tell him and he wouldnt do it again. I miss him and i want to contact him so badly its killing me. I cant even do this as i have embarressed myself so much now i basically put it on a plate for him and he didnt even reply WHAT A MFKER!!!!!!!!! One minute i feel so positive and think 'Oh well his loss' and the next i want him in my bed with his big arms around me - I felt so safe with him! He is a normal guy with not much baggage and I am a single mum with a nuts ex boyfriend and baggage as long as the Nile! How could anyone want me? Wow it's a really bad day today I am throwing the biggest pity party for myself! I am scared I will mould any new relationships to be just like my last as well, it's an easy thing to do i was heading there after just 2 months of seeing someone on a casual basis. God give me strength to really find inner love and respect for myself. I sometimes feel like I was put here just to please others and the weight is sometimes hard to carry. writing on here makes me feel so much better - Sorry if this same crap is driving you all insane!!!!!!
Prim&proper Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 You should never let a man make you feel bad about yourself. If you want to call him, then call him. But if he doesn't return your calls, then move on. You can do anything you put your mind to. It's not you, it's just not the right time for you to meet someone. Be happy. 8-) I just broke up with a guy I've been seeing for 4 months because he's not ready for a relationship. You know what, it hurts now, but in a week the pain will lessen and eventually disappear. You just have to believe.
alphamale Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 today I am throwing the biggest pity party for myself!!!!!! I'm glad I was not invited to that bash
Author Lishy Posted September 30, 2005 Author Posted September 30, 2005 Are you sure you dont wanna come Alpha? It's a NAKED pity party!!!!!!!!
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