max3732 Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Someone I chatted with online had planned to meet up and we exchanged numbers. When she saw my number on the caller ID it had a different first name when she asked about it I told her it was because I kept my family plan with my brother since he locked in a great rate years ago. Then when the time came we had planned to meet she said she's struggling financially since she's in grad school but guesses I know a thing or 2 about that because of my phone plan. I didn't quite know how to react, but told her I'm actually doing well with my job and know how to handle money. She responded that we're not a match since if I'm not poor I must be cheap keeping the same phone plan. Honestly I don't know if I should laugh or cry with this. I didn't want to start bragging about things I've bought that would show I'm not cheap or start trying to justify myself. I really don't understand why she'd have such a problem with the fact I do save money when it's a no brainer thing to do. Even though I do use coupons I also splurge on plenty of material things as well as vacations and restaurants. That being said it just feels wrong to have to explain this to her. First the woman who cancelled because I told her I might be a few minutes late and now this. This one I never spoke to on the phone, but I was looking forward to meeting. Then I've had several others that I exchanged a number of messages with that just stopped responding. One even said she would check her schedule in a few days and then let me know about meeting at a place I picked and now she's just not responding. Do I just have bad luck or is there something else I can do?
kendahke Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Neither. You just have to stomp a lot of toads on OLD. It's a numbers game. 1
basil67 Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Yeah....I dunno. I would think that as an adult, you'd have a number with your own name on it. 2
chillii Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 l'd get your own plan regardless first of all , couldn't stand that myself. But l could see how it might raise suspicion too l remember back when l was online , people were insane suspicious about the tiniest thing. One chick accused me of being a scammer in a different country because she tried my number on whatsapp and couldn't get me. She just put in the wrong damn country code, gimme a break, she disappeared. Another abused me because she saw me on FB with a different name, ahhh, l'm not even on effg FB , she disappeared. There was a ton of back stepping and disappearing. Also met some damn nice women to in the end though. TBH , l think some just get scared find excuses when it came to actually meeting someone , others just so damn insane suspicious they literally look for excuses at crunch time , all this sort of crap. Lotta weird shyt online but the good ones come through , just don;t worry about it goes with the territory , soldier on.
Cersei Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 It's possible she lots interest or had none when meeting you and just used this as an excuse to turn you away from her.
basil67 Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 I also think that you appearing under two different names is a red flag. One can't be too careful out there. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Yeah....I dunno. I would think that as an adult, you'd have a number with your own name on it. I also think that you appearing under two different names is a red flag. One can't be too careful out there. This is what I was thinking. If I were getting ready to meet "John Smith" but the caller ID said he was "Tom Smith," unless one or the other was his middle name, I'd get a weird feeling, like this guy doesn't have his act together or maybe he's even some kind of con artist. 2
introverted1 Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 I agree that having a different name on your phone from what you told her might seem suspicious. I have a family plan and my kids all have their own names in their caller IDs even though I pay for the plan. How is it that your phone is showing your brother's name? 1
Lotsgoingon Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Being on a discount plan is not the problem--that's smart on your part. But there is something really weird about someone doing economically well who is not willing to pay a little more to have his own name on his phone line. And there is something odd about someone who has this mismatch not understanding how strange it would seem to first-time dates, especially to women! Caller ID is a basic part of communication these days. Anyone meeting someone for the first time should pause and be suspicious if there is the slightest bit of name confusion. If you want to date, you will need to clear this up. BTW: what's up with you and using different names? You report a similar issue on FB. Again, that woman who pulled away was quite smart to do so. Cut that out! I'm a guy and that kinda thing would send me running out of fear I'm dealing with a con artist or fugitive. I can only imagine how much faster it would send many women running! So, great learning experience--and apparently a much-needed learning experience. Keep going bro. This will prove helpful to you--you can stop shooting yourself in the foot. I look forward to more reports. 1
alphamale Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 unless you're in the top 5%, OLD is worthless. try meeting women the old fashioned way max. I myself do very poorly with OLD but IRL I do fine... 1
Author max3732 Posted October 14, 2019 Author Posted October 14, 2019 (edited) Being on a discount plan is not the problem--that's smart on your part. But there is something really weird about someone doing economically well who is not willing to pay a little more to have his own name on his phone line. It's a bit of a long story but the bottom line (pun intended) is that I locked in such a good rate/deal that goes beyond what I should be getting that I don't want to upset the apple cart by calling and having them dig into my account. Considering it has the same last name why would it matter that the first name is different? Especially since I explained I'm sharing a family plan. On FB I have my first name, but not my last name. I only made the account to keep in touch with my friends from grad school and don't use it much anymore. I'm a pretty private person and don't want certain people looking me up and trying to find out about me online. Edited October 15, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Author max3732 Posted October 14, 2019 Author Posted October 14, 2019 unless you're in the top 5%, OLD is worthless. try meeting women the old fashioned way max. I myself do very poorly with OLD but IRL I do fine... How do I meet women the old fashioned way? Really the only time I see women is at the grocery store or sometimes jogging/bike riding. Whenever I do an activity it's either all guys or a bunch of 60+ women.
basil67 Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Considering it has the same last name why would it matter that the first name is different? Especially since I explained I'm sharing a family plan. Because it makes you look suspicious. If a girl is wise, she's not going to choose a guy who's credentials don't match. Likewise, as somebody else said, being part of a family plan without even your own name on your phone also casts doubt that you're doing OK financially. 1
basil67 Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 Whenever I do an activity it's either all guys or a bunch of 60+ women. This doesn't speak well about your social life. What about doing things and going places with groups of friends?
SumGuy Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 It's a bit of a long story but the bottom line (pun intended) is that I locked in such a good rate/deal that goes beyond what I should be getting that I don't want to upset the apple cart by calling and having them dig into my account. Considering it has the same last name why would it matter that the first name is different? Especially since I explained I'm sharing a family plan. I get it, must be some deal, but she may have thought you were lying. Likely some married guy. I don't do facebook or any other social media (except linkedin, and even then not much) but I can be found (professionally) if googled so I tend to go with that to put women at ease that I am who I say I am. Can you do the same?
mortensorchid Posted October 14, 2019 Posted October 14, 2019 That's just ridiculous that she would cancel a date over something so petty. Maybe she was a bit cautious being that a different name popped up on her called ID but all you explained the situation. Just move on.
lavenderandvelvet Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 Yeah....I dunno. I would think that as an adult, you'd have a number with your own name on it. I am on a family plan as well with my parents and sister. One of my friends is on it too. When I was younger, my parents paid. Now I pay for my parents. No big deal. My provider let us all customize our caller ID names. Who cares about a phone plan? 1
Lotsgoingon Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 Considering it has the same last name why would it matter that the first name is different? Especially since I explained I'm sharing a family plan. People don't want an explanation for why the person sitting across from them on a date has a different Caller ID than the name they told us. And if they got an explanation, and it's only date 1, they have no reason to trust that explanation. People on dates want to try to get to know a person. Instead, with you presenting two names, people's minds have to focus on ruling out that you're a serial killer or a con man. They will not be able to concentrate on what else you're saying. Consider: people also don't want an explanation for why the person across from them is incoherent and makes no sense. We don't want an explanation for why the person in front of us looks like they haven't bathed in two weeks. No, what people want on a date is to sit across from someone who makes sense and looks nice. Period. Literally and seriously, it would be smarter to assume that the person with two names is running some kind of game, has some kind of trouble in their life, such as criminal trouble, or is married or is on the run from somebody. Those are going to be the right explanations far more often than the explanation that the person with two names got a cheap deal in his brother's name. . You can blow this off, but the women you meet will continue to not feel comfortable--and justifiably so. They don't know you! They absolutely should suspect and keep distance from anyone that presents with two different names. 4
Ami1uwant Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 How do I meet women the old fashioned way? Really the only time I see women is at the grocery store or sometimes jogging/bike riding. Whenever I do an activity it's either all guys or a bunch of 60+ women. It’s really hard to date prople in real life one you are late 20s and older unless you are in the top 1% in looks and also have the personality sales pitch to meet women at random. From my experience in IRL mertingsfter college hadto do with me seeing the same person multiple times and talking each time thrn asking for her number or a date. The general rule isyou don’t date immediate coworkers. That isn’t an option but it could be an avenue in friend of friend meeting. So online dating is a good way to meet fellow singles. But the key is to meet face to face ASAP. A problem with online now vs over 20 years ago.... Then you generally had more peop,esetioulywantung to do this. Now you have more peop,e doing this who lack the seriousness or using it just to meet mr/ms fantasy date where they’d beet someone outside their league based on looks oreconomic class.
Gretchen12 Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I have a family plan too. But we each have our own name on the caller ID. This way you save yourself having to explain all the time. I'd imagine it's a little confusing also for work related calls, dentist, friends. If you can't customize each name, just have everyone have only the last name on caller ID. 1
Shining One Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I have a family plan and my kids all have their own names in their caller IDs even though I pay for the plan. How is it that your phone is showing your brother's name?I'm guessing that the brother didn't provide the necessary information to update the CNAM for the line. OP, which carrier are you using? Most of the carriers I've dealt with allow you to update CNAM information online, so there would be no need to call anyone.
greymatter Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I'm on a family plan as well with my ex husband. He gets a much better rate and we split our son's cell phone bill, so economically it makes sense. However my name comes up on caller ID and I have a login to the cell phone account so it's all legit. As a woman dating, I'd be wary of someone whose name was questionable based on caller ID. Seems like you and your brother could and should fix things unless you are somehow not legitimately on his plan.
basil67 Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I am on a family plan as well with my parents and sister. One of my friends is on it too. When I was younger, my parents paid. Now I pay for my parents. No big deal. My provider let us all customize our caller ID names. Who cares about a phone plan? I was referring to having a number with your own name on it....which you have. My point is that I'd be very dubious about someone I'd met online who's credentials didn't match. If he can't get his proper name on the plan, then it's time for a new plan. 1
kendahke Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 OP--just make sure that when she tries to get back in touch with you after getting over whose name is on an account that's none of her business, she's effectively blocked and can stay exactly where she is and not bother you with "I'm sorry, blah blah weak selfish effin' blah..." Yeah, she is sorry... a sorry sack of ... 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 That's just ridiculous that she would cancel a date over something so petty. Maybe she was a bit cautious being that a different name popped up on her called ID but all you explained the situation. Just move on. I agree. She may have been being cautious, but this is a bit ridiculous. Family plans exist for a reason! You dodged a bullet, OP. 1
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