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Struggling with a peer collegue manipulative tactics

Eternal Sunshine

By Eternal Sunshine
in Business and Professional Relationships

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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We are both up for a promotion in the next year or so but this behaviour started even before that. It's in his nature.

 

Some examples of what he does. This happens usually 1-2 times every single day and is tiring.

 

1. We will work together on a project and then when presenting to senior management, he criticizes my part in it. We sit literally next to each other and he never brings it up in private.

 

2. He regularly takes full credit for all work that he did 5% of and I did other 95%.

 

3. When we are presenting org charts, because my team is bigger than his, he adds past employees in his team to give false appearance of size of his team. Most people are not too detailed oriented and don't notice. He does it last minute so that nobody has time to edit.

 

4. He blocks folders so that I can't access work that I did and have to escalate the problem to IT and wait 24-48 hours. ( he has admin privileges and I don't).

 

5. On the projects that we have to work together, he blocks folder where we deliver results. So essentially, he will copy my work into deliver results folder and then share it with the management. Again, it gives false sense of the amount of work he did and also puts him in the project lead position which he is not.

 

Constant annoyances, his scheming and feeling like I have to watch my back.

 

I have escalated this behaviour to our joint manager many times and on many instances. Manager will often side with me, call him out on it. Then he will make up some story of not doing in intentionally. Things will calm down for few weeks then start up again. Manager tells me privately that he brings huge amount of value to the team and that he has been with the company much longer than I have. Basically that I have no choice but to try and work around it. I don't see the point of escalating to the manager again.

 

Unfortunately, the way teams are set up, I don't have any options of moving to another team. In this team, some joint projects are unavoidable. I could try to minimize this but it would mean working on lower profile projects.

 

Everything else in this company is good and I have good career progression opportunities. I have thought of leaving because of this colleague many times :( The amount of daily stress over those petty behaviors is really getting to me.

 

 

Any tips on dealing with this?

introverted1 Established Member

introverted1

Posted
Posted

 

1. We will work together on a project and then when presenting to senior management, he criticizes my part in it. We sit literally next to each other and he never brings it up in private.

 

 

Before the next presentation: Hey, (name), I've noticed in the past few presentations you've had concerns about my work. Let's review the project now so we can agree on any adjustments that need to be made.

 

 

2. He regularly takes full credit for all work that he did 5% of and I did other 95%.

 

 

More info needed here. How does he do this? Who is the audience?

 

 

3. When we are presenting org charts, because my team is bigger than his, he adds past employees in his team to give false appearance of size of his team. Most people are not too detailed oriented and don't notice. He does it last minute so that nobody has time to edit.

 

 

Weird. Why does this even matter? Does the size of your team indicate something?

 

 

4. He blocks folders so that I can't access work that I did and have to escalate the problem to IT and wait 24-48 hours. ( he has admin privileges and I don't).

 

 

Enlist your IT folks and ask that he either not have admin rights to your folders or that you be given the same permissions. Explain that he has "accidentally" locked you out of your folders on previous occasions and see how they recommend the situation be remedied.

 

 

5. On the projects that we have to work together, he blocks folder where we deliver results. So essentially, he will copy my work into deliver results folder and then share it with the management. Again, it gives false sense of the amount of work he did and also puts him in the project lead position which he is not.

 

 

Same as above. If that doesn't work, use email to ask him for access and cc management. Figure out a way to out him while maintaining professionalism.

 

 

 

I have escalated this behaviour to our joint manager many times and on many instances. Manager will often side with me, call him out on it. Then he will make up some story of not doing in intentionally.

 

 

So the trick is to find solutions that are so reasonable, the other guy can't object. When it comes to folder access and the like, you should each have the same permissions to access shared work.

 

 

 

Document each instance. You never know when you might need it.

  • Like 1
kompass New Member

kompass

Posted
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Hi! And wow.

 

I see you had some good specific advice from Introverted1.

 

The guy obviously has some issues. If your manager does not act on your information (which is also alarming), do you have an HR department? The normal procedure in this type of conflict would be to involve HR and explain your case. They should have guidelines / company policies for conflict resolution.

 

If you don't, and you want to stay in the company, then I would suggest you try a different approach with this guy directly.

 

Instead of competing with him (not assuming you do), try talking to him and saying that you think that you can help eachother to reach your goals. Ask him what he wants to achieve, and how you can help him to succeed. He may not reciprocate but it should at least make him more sympathetic to you (unless he has a disorder). "Hey, I feel like im not progressing as well as I would like, and would like your input and/or help. I think I can help you as well. Can we sit down to discuss our work goals and how we can help eachother?"

 

In doing that you should be sincere, so to not come off as manipulative you should first confront him on what you are frustrated about. Stand up for yourself, but not angrily - seek understanding. Then set clear boundaries for what is acceptable to you and what is not. You can do that case by case for the little things you mentioned, as it happens, and/or you can have a proper sit down if you feel that is needed. And involve HR if you need to.

 

Good luck!

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

If your manager is letting it do on, what can you do? Be sure you put the whole thing in writing, though, so that he can't just continue to ignore it. Just like you did here. Just tell him you're making a record of it because it continues. Then if he ever promotes him in stead of you or whatever, go over the boss's head to his boss. Not sure but what I wouldn't copy the boss's boss on it anyway. I've been known to do that when I knew someone was going to side with someone.

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Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

Posted
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Manager has had the attitude of "You will just need to accept him for who he is and work around it. We all have our quirks". Manager has helped with case by case matters occasionally - if he blocked access to folders, I would get them in 12 hours instead of standard 24-48 hours.

 

 

 

But on a problem as a whole, he would be told off gently, then him and manager would be joking and laughing 30 minutes later :( I am completely drained by this situation.

preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

Managers can and will ignore things unless you put it in writing and copy HR or a higher up.

  • Like 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Established Member

CautiouslyOptimistic

Posted
Posted
Managers can and will ignore things unless you put it in writing and copy HR or a higher up.

 

Agree. Specifically, I would email your manager every time he does something like block you on a folder and you have to request an unblock, and every time you have to message anything like that, use the same email thread. Eventually, copy HR if nothing is happening to rectify the problem.

ajequals Established Member

ajequals

Posted
Posted

can you piece meal the project and keep your portion to yourself? My son had somewhat the same thing happen at work but his boss was taking his work and claiming he did it My son was able to copy write the work in a way that his name could not be removed but I can't tell your how he did it

Watercolors Established Member

Watercolors

Posted
Posted (edited)
Agree. Specifically, I would email your manager every time he does something like block you on a folder and you have to request an unblock, and every time you have to message anything like that, use the same email thread. Eventually, copy HR if nothing is happening to rectify the problem.

 

Eternal Sunshine already notified her supervisor and he basically just laughed off the conflict between Eternal Sunshine and her coworker. He even told Eternal Sunshine that she'll have to accept her coworker for who he is. So, her supervisor is not going to be her advocate or ally in this situation.

 

And, if Eternal Sunshine takes her complaint to her supervisor's boss, he could retaliate against her.

 

I think it's time to look for a new company or new department within your current company to get a transfer to.

 

Also, don't trust your HR dept to mediate any employee conflict resolution with an impartial stance. HR depts are as corrupt as they come. When I had bad supervisor who gave promotions to his friends but not to those who earned it, I reported him to HR with documentation and everything. The result? I was retaliated against and put on a warning, which gave my supervisor time to build up a file against me so that he could fire me from my job without showing the real reason = his discrimination and retaliation against me.

 

Keep HR out of this, Eternal Sunshine. They won't help you. Just leave your company. Call a head hunter. Call another department you'd like to transfer to and see if they have any openings. Think outside the box here.

Edited by Watercolors
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