LivingWaterPlease Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 (edited) The reason I doubted myself, is because I had another boyfriend who said the same thing to me and my mother told me I was too picky. So, it sort of hit a nerve with me. To me the most troubling part of this scenario is that your ex date shares a bedroom with his eight-year-old daughter. As far as you being high maintenance, it really would take more than one anecdote about you to be able to tell if you're high maintenance or not. But, here's a question for you: With all you have going for you, and the little he has going for him, why would you be concerned about his opinion of you? Edited October 15, 2019 by LivingWaterPlease
Ruby Slippers Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 I'd tell him I'm moving on, wish him the best, and block/ignore. He sounds like the gigolo type. He won't find a decent woman to drag his sorry butt along.
confusedinadaze Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 You are SO not high maintenance. This guy seems to have some deep-rooted psychological issues and you’re bending over backwards for him. Move along, plenty of fish in the sea. Good luck.
smackie9 Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 (edited) Egad this guy just tried to manipulate you into doubting your decision. You made the right decision. He’s all talk no action, just doing the bare minimum. Yuck. Edited October 15, 2019 by smackie9
snowboy91 Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 The reason I doubted myself, is because I had another boyfriend who said the same thing to me and my mother told me I was too picky. So, it sort of hit a nerve with me. Maybe you are picky. But that's OK, you've gotta spend your life with the guy so you've got to make sure it's right for you! You refer to yourself as driven and ambitious, and look for the same in others. That's only fair. There are guys out there like that. Don't waste your time on anyone who isn't.
Caauug Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 If he keeps contacting you ask him this: History likes to repeat, so why are you no longer married, what was your x-wife's reasons for the breakdown of the marriage? Not that you need the answer but his response would be good to see. Work only part time, live with parents, doesn't drive and no car, he will likely pay very little in support payments. If he improves, his XW will likely push for more support so why try harder... Find someone with less baggage and has goals closer to your own. He maybe harder to find as he is out working to improve himself.
Author Confoosedgal Posted October 15, 2019 Author Posted October 15, 2019 I didn't even consider his child support payments. I'm really wondering how he keeps up with that. And, normally I wouldn't be concerned with someone's opinion, I'd think they couldn't handle rejection well and move on. After reading these responses though, I'm realizing if women didn't have an issue with his situation, he would've had a serious girlfriend already. And I know he's been dating around on and off for two years with nothing settled. It's funny, I actually asked him today what happened between him and his ex-wife and he said she was born with a "silver spoon" and that she was raised very spoiled and pampered and expected more than he could provide. He wouldn't go further than that but I'm pretty sure the wife had the same exact issues with him that I did. He desperately tried to persuade me to continue dating him the entire day even when I wasn't responding. When that didn't work, he offered a "friends with benefits" situation which disgusted me and pissed me off. I flat out told him no. and then he tried to desperately convince me on how FWB would benefit me and loosen up my standards. :lmao: And so I blocked him. At least now, I officially have the answer here which is that I dated a creepy loser. Or at the very least, an unambitious pig. 2
kendahke Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 The reason I doubted myself, is because I had another boyfriend who said the same thing to me and my mother told me I was too picky. So, it sort of hit a nerve with me. What was your mother's reason for saying that to you? I'd hope she'd rather have you happy with someone you want to be with than miserable with someone you settled for to make her happy. No--you're not picky. At. All. In fact, you're way more discerning and aware of what it is you want than most women who write in for advice. He basically lied to you, then gaslighted you, tried to intimidate you into coming back by bringing up past women who now have nothing to do with him--so he's not capable of keeping women once he's attracted them. Better to be alone with peace of mind, heart and home than to have your life legally bound to someone who brings you nothing but misery in your mind, heart and home. 1
GoreSP Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 Would YOU date this man? Do you believe I'm high maintenance or is this guy a loser and unable to see it? Only thing this guy has going for him are his looks and his charm as far as I can tell. Oh hell no. It is one thing to move in with your parents after a divorce to get your life back together, but 6 years? I would not have given the relationship a shot at all, just based on that. I wouldn't say he is a loser, but he has clearly gotten into a pattern where he won't do more than the absolute minimum to get by. You could be high maintenance for other reasons, but not that.
Rocker71 Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 Your picker is way off. You are 27, not 37, stay away from guys like this. 36, divorced with a kid, can't drive, would have been instant dealbreakers for me at 27... He had the looks he had the charm... but nothing to back it up. If a guy is going to date a woman with the intention of developing a long term relationship, he should at the very least have his own place, apartment or house. He has some work to do and he seems lazy and wants a woman to take care of him. Why can't he work full-time? If it were me I'd be hustling my butt off to get financially fit BEFORE I even try to date women. I've never know a male whose nerves were too shot to drive a car unless he's very effeminate. I wouldn't call him a loser but he's definately not dating material. 36, works only part time, lives with parents... Nope. He needs to stop dating until he gets financially fit.
Bluebelle38 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 He says he's dated many women, and yet none of them stick with him. Absolute loser.
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