LeaGreenLad88 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Hi guys..I'll try be brief. Basically I am a fairly active runner and cyclist etc. And I do a fair old.amount of events..10k, Half Marathons and so on.. Now I've never really dated anyone from that field of social activity. But...last week. Last week I was doing an event a few hundred miles from home, it doubled as a weekend away with my family.. anyway it was really bad weather..and a few mins before the event started I was taking shelter outside a shop under their little roof extension. Next to me a girl appeared and out of nowhere we start chatting and have that initial spark and really are making each other laugh and seem to be getting on...Almost as if we were in a bar or on a date . Anyway she asked my name, only gave her my first name. And her likewise...I was about to suggest we headed down to the bag/coat drop off zone..and I'd exchange either a facebook of a mobile phone number just before we started the race. We were really making each other laugh, and although I obviously don't know her or anything about her, but we appeared to put a smile on each others face.. anyway in the worst possible timing, and just my luck somebody she knew turned up and grabbed her attention.. I realised I had probably lost my nerve and the moment had gone..and wished her the best and headed to the start of the race.. I know I messed up and should have persevered, and maybe tried to catch her just again..or even at the end of the race.. but my instinct told me it wasn't to be and it was Just one of those things.. However I recieved an e mail from.the race organisers with results and a few pictures yesterday.. and i spotted her name and also her picture a few times on there.. I can't help but feel, if I was to try facebook/Instagram search her, that I would be doing something weird, and i would feel maybe that it was even a bit creepy. But we got on so well and she really made me laugh/smile.. I kinda feel as though i should leave it, as it is just that one step too far given the fact i couldn't give her my number at the time. But conversely she was so friendly. I am.so torn, she told me she was not dating, and seemed really interested in me and my background and stuff.. Has anyone had a situation like this before, either being contacted by somebody who has found you, or vice versa and you be the one doing the pursuing?? I really don't know if it is acceptable, or just a bit weird. Be good to get a guy and girl POV on this.. Thanks Guys
lurker74 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Yes, look for her and send her a message. Say something like, "Hey Filomena, hope you did well at the race. I'm the guy that chatted with you just before the start. Let me know if you want to grab a post-race beer sometime and we can carb recover together. Good luck with the rest of the season..." or some such. It's only creepy if you call her a slut for saying no. 3
Gretchen12 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 I would consider it creepy if the guy tried to search for me online and contact me. Not creepy if he turns up at events where I might be participating. But then I don't have facebook. Maybe people who have facebook want to be contacted by strangers. 1
Soak Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 I heard a good story about a guy who turned up at a cafe that he heard (maybe she told him?) she used to go to. When he got there and she was there, he made out it was a big surprise and coincidence that she goes there too. They are now married. I think you should turn up at events and act all surprised and glad to see her. Then you can slip in a catch up request after the event or at some other time. So, in short, yes, try to find her, but act all surprised and random when you do. Don't act creepy or desperate.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 She told you in those few moments she wasn't dating anyone?
Author LeaGreenLad88 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Posted October 11, 2019 She told you in those few moments she wasn't dating anyone? Yes lol..we chatted for probably 10 mins plus, maybe less maybe more.. But I mentioned being with my family/parents as opposed to a partner lol, and she slipped in that she was always free to run on a weekend as she was in her own words 'single and being driven to races and the gym by her younger sister ha ha.
smackie9 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Hold up...in all that time you couldn't just say, "Hey how about I get your number, I'd like to grab a coffee with you sometime...."?!
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Yes lol..we chatted for probably 10 mins plus, maybe less maybe more.. But I mentioned being with my family/parents as opposed to a partner lol, and she slipped in that she was always free to run on a weekend as she was in her own words 'single and being driven to races and the gym by her younger sister ha ha. Ah ok. Well, then I say go for it . I personally do not find it creepy at all. 1
kendahke Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 I would consider it creepy if the guy tried to search for me online and contact me. I agree... I don't care how much we got on in that moment, if I didn't hand you my number or indicate to you I wanted the conversation to continue in some way (like when the friend turned up, introduce you and keep you in the conversation until that friend walked away for something), you sending me a message through facebook would creep me out. ( I never check for people sending friend requests and if I don't already know you in real life, I don't accept them.)
Author LeaGreenLad88 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Posted October 11, 2019 Hold up...in all that time you couldn't just say, "Hey how about I get your number, I'd like to grab a coffee with you sometime...."?! Yeah I fully agree, I could easily have done. But I admit I stalled a bit, as I wasn't entirely sure if I should have carried on chatting for a minute or two more. I now obv regret (maybe regrets a bit strong) not doing that lol 1
preraph Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 If you got that list, wouldn't she have also gotten it so that she could contact you if the wanted? It might be a little creepy hunting her down when no agreement was made to exchange info. That stuff seems to mostly work in rom coms.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 What do you have to lose? Is there an extremely high likelihood you'll run into her at a future race?
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 If you got that list, wouldn't she have also gotten it so that she could contact you if the wanted? It might be a little creepy hunting her down when no agreement was made to exchange info. That stuff seems to mostly work in rom coms. But what if they are both getting the same advice to "not do it?"
Gretchen12 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 If I understood correctly, the organizers did not send out a list of participants with their full name and contact numbers so people can keep in touch. She happened to be in the snapshots and that's how her name was revealed.
Author LeaGreenLad88 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Posted October 11, 2019 If I understood correctly, the organizers did not send out a list of participants with their full name and contact numbers so people can keep in touch. She happened to be in the snapshots and that's how her name was revealed. Yeah tbf there were absolutely loads.. I'm on a fair few of them. However my name isnt actually listed..just my shirt number lol.. ah well I think I'm going to just take the compliment from the moment, which is a but crappy and ultimately my lack of action at the time. Thanks for the replies guys.
Gretchen12 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Isn't it very likely you'll see her again at another event coming up?
findingnemo Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Strategy. Join as many marathons as you need to until you find her. Contacting her on Facebook is so not cool. At least I would think so if someone I gave only my first name sent me a friend request. And it gives away your power. She will know immediately that you are very into her. FYI, you are not. You are into the idea of the possibility that she may be the one. Find her. Get a date.
Author LeaGreenLad88 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Posted October 11, 2019 Isn't it very likely you'll see her again at another event coming up? Erm not particularly, because we are a few hours apart distance wise.. I mean yeah sure, there is of course always that outside chance I guess. But I wouldnt say it was probable. Yeah the social media things a step too far, and I would probably find it a touch peculiar if the shoe was on the other foot.
introverted1 Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 Ooh, sounds like fun. I (female) say go ahead and reach out to her. Could be the start of something wonderful. 1
lavenderandvelvet Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 (edited) I would consider it creepy if the guy tried to search for me online and contact me. Not creepy if he turns up at events where I might be participating. But then I don't have facebook. Maybe people who have facebook want to be contacted by strangers. Would not find it creepy in the context of a long conversation, common interest, and well worded note. It is creepy if you write “Hey Jennifer, I couldn’t get you out of my head after we met at the race. We are soulmates, so I had to contact you. I know we are getting married one day and it all starts with a date.” And two hours later “yo Jennifer, how can you ignore your soulmate.” Calling would be creepy. A social media message is a soft toss, easy to ignore. Edited October 12, 2019 by lavenderandvelvet 1
Stillits Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 Yeah I also wouldn't find it creepy if you sent me a message on facebook in that situation. Sounds like she enjoyed the conversation, and she did bring up being single, which seems like a huge hint - not something I'd bring up unless I was interested in a date. People vary, of course, maybe she just randomly offers up that info all the time. I'd personally rather find it uncomfortable if I found out you were trolling real life events to find me, because then if I wasn't interested, it would be a more awkward situation having to avoid you. Sometimes, we have to go a little out of our comfort zone in order to achieve something we want. In this case, a chance to see if she also thought there was a connection and wants to go out with you. I say, if you can find her easily enough on instagram or facebook and she hasn't disabled private messaging, just send her a short message and see where it goes. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 I'm a woman. If you have enough info to find her via social media -- a platform designed to help people connect -- & sent her ONE message reminding her of how you met & indicating a desire to see her again, that would be OK. She would have the option to accept / respond or ignore you. If she likes you she will be pleased by your initiative. If she didn't like you she will think you are creepy & pushy. If you only send the one message even if she doesn't welcome it, you won't actually BE creepy. If she doesn't respond & you pester her, then you will cross over into actually being creepy. Do you understand the difference? 1
Flame Aura Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 (edited) Yes you definitely should find her and contact her - what do you have to lose? Absolutely nothing. There's nothing creepy about it. Edited October 12, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Gretchen12 Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 Would not find it creepy in the context of a long conversation, common interest, and well worded note. . I only said I would consider it creepy. We're different people. 1
Author LeaGreenLad88 Posted October 23, 2019 Author Posted October 23, 2019 Hi guys.. just bumping this thread lol. 2 weeks has gone by, as u can probably see going off the dates. I never messaged her, 5 or so days afterwards my phone became damaged and I've been 11 days minus it.. so only really had very limited access to my social media and haven't really been on. So 2 weeks later I actually went to the trouble of searching her, and you can expect in 2019. Found her on Instagram instantly.. Have I left this too late? Obv the phone situation is unfortunate..
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