d0nnivain Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 What's the big deal about asking for the money back? If you are afraid he will be insulted or that he'll break up with you, this isn't much of a relationship. The idea that you had to go on line & buy his ticket because he never did it before is absurd. The man is allegedly a dentist. He is smart, can figure things out & uses far more sophisticated technology in his practice. He could have figured out a user friendly transportation portal. He probably doesn't have $99. Have you actually checked with the dental licensing board where you are to confirm that he has a practice? Have you called the office to hear them say his name? 4
Whodatdog Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Be your nice normal self until you get the money back, and dont give him a penny more in the meantime. Then dump him. 1
Mrin Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 1. He keeps telling me he's been looking for someone like me for a really long time and he wants our relationship to work. No doubt "he's really into me". 2. He visited for a holiday and decided to take a train instead of driving. He asked me to go online and buy the ticket and he'd reimburse me. Well he came and left yesterday but I haven't seen any $ yet. I feel awkward asking for the $ and reminding him (he should remember). 3. He seems very thoughtful and generous. He brought wine and flowers, etc. to me. I purchased the holiday meal. 4. He seems transparent about his life - I don't think he is hiding anything from me but my adult son says he likes him "but feels like something is off". My son can misinterpret people sometimes but not always. #1 Kinda "love bomby" but could also be sincere and charming. #3 Okay cool. I honestly don't see an issue with this. #4 Good that he's transparent. Kinda worrisome about your son but then again, you don't have a lot of information to go from. #2 Oh Hell No. Did he have a good reason for asking you to buy his ticket? That is concerning. I can't imagine doing that if I were he. Yeah, that'a big red flag there. How to ask for money: Hey, can you reimburse me now for the train ticket like we had discussed? His answer will tell you volumes. If he busts out a $100 bill and hands it to you with all sort of apologies then that might lower it to a yellow flag. If he does anything else besides immediately pay you, then get your money and dump him.
GoreSP Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Oh that’s an easy one. Ask him to e-transfer you the money for the train tickets. If he makes a fuss, then something is wrong. Someone who is genuinely into someone will not borrow money they have no intention on refunding. 1
kendahke Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 How do I ask for the money? I'll be seeing him tomorrow. He did bring me a very good electric toothbrush (he is a dentist) so I don't think he is cheap necessarily. "Hey, you got that money I loaned you for that train ticket? I've got some bills coming due and I need my money"
kendahke Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 one month. Waaaaaaaaay too soon for a dentist to be asking a basic stranger for money to pay for his ticket and waaaaay too soon for you to be forking over money to pay for a basic stranger. It'd be a different thing if he gave you his credit card information so you could have processed the ticket for him, but he didn't do that. His receptionist couldn't have done that for him? Sad thing is you don't even know him well enough to ask him for your money back. You're too afraid of scaring off a love interest to balk at the inappropriateness of him even asking. Something wrong with a dentist, who has a certain level of education, figuring out online ticket purchasing? I can and I don't have a DDS degree. Yes, there is something way off about him asking you for this. He sure is bold.
kendahke Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 "Hey, you got that money I loaned you for that train ticket?" To add: "Paypal, Zelle, Venmo, Cash App... let me know which one you use. Oh, you dont' have it? Go download the app. I'll wait." If he does anything but pay you your money, you need to kiss that $100 goodbye and dump him. That's what's off about him: he's out to manipulate you.
chillii Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 train ticket was $99 Ah right , well he def' should've paid that back , but still , there might be a simple reason l'd just see what he says with that first up. Def' not good though if he looks like he tried to get out of paying you.
Malin889 Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 If he’s so well off how come he couldn’t pay for his own train ticket? If a guy asked me to do that, I just wouldn’t let him visit. Big no no. Also — you didn’t give him your credit card info to pay for the ticket, did you? There’s no way he could have access to that, right?? Listen to your son, this guy is very “off”. I would get the money (if you can) then break it off.
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