Springsummer Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 (edited) so I gave the charity tickets to this man to sell in the workplace this afternoon, and then he said something smell good/flowery. and then he grabbed my arms and smell my arms. I wore a blazer. so I was covered up. Then I said maybe something in your cubicle? It was not the first time he said something smell good. one or twice(don't remember exactly), he passed my work area and also said the same thing. The thing is I rarely wear perfume... if being a 'techie' explains it. Even if I do, I will wear very little. I don't recall I did any spray of perfume this morning. maybe I was being stupid. clearly he was joking? I should have just ignored him and run instead of letting him smell my arms. Grew up in a conservative culture, I don't feel comfortable in close proximity with the opposite gender. Edited October 10, 2019 by Springsummer
major_merrick Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 That's odd behavior. For me, smelling is kind of intimate. My partners sniff me. Strangers don't. If it was me, I'd probably be pretty irritated. If I didn't care about consequences, I'd get loud and give a firm slap. If I cared about not wanting to offend, I'd probably make a semi-joke about it my saying loudly and suddenly, "Don't get too close...I bite!" While pulling my my arm away. 1
Author Springsummer Posted October 10, 2019 Author Posted October 10, 2019 Dam! he made it looked like he was really just curious about the source of the smell and tried to find out where it came from. No doubt I got played now.
Maddie82 Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 Is this someone you work with? Is it the same guy that told you he liked you?
chillii Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 Hey spring. ls he someone you might be interested in romantically ? l think it's just he's funny way of a compliment and the arm thing just a funny excuse for some touching. Do you know if he's single ? he likes ya. 1
Author Springsummer Posted October 10, 2019 Author Posted October 10, 2019 Why do you feel "played"? I don't like anyone touch me physically, unless someone I like. I didn't grew up in an amorous culture.
Author Springsummer Posted October 10, 2019 Author Posted October 10, 2019 Hey spring. ls he someone you might be interested in romantically ? l think it's just he's funny way of a compliment and the arm thing just a funny excuse for some touching. Do you know if he's single ? he likes ya. Zero. in fact, less than zero. oh, he called me 'little one' today. what the heck? on the contrary, this other guy, I just got a glimpse this noon, and I felt like Christmas morning. 1
basil67 Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 I don't like anyone touch me physically, unless someone I like. I didn't grew up in an amorous culture. Gotcha. I was thinking of a different definition. If he does it again, be sure to say "please don't touch me". And yes, I also think he's got a thing for you.
alphamale Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 you have to tell your supervisor how you feel about him touching you.
Author Springsummer Posted October 11, 2019 Author Posted October 11, 2019 Gotcha. I was thinking of a different definition. If he does it again, be sure to say "please don't touch me". And yes, I also think he's got a thing for you. I don't think and react fast to unusual situations. I am more of a dazed and confused type. unfortunately he has a thing for me is not going to help him nor me. only extra burden to deal with.
basil67 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 I understand. Slightly different to an arm touch...but each time I was sexually assaulted as a teen or young woman, I didn't think or react fast either. With hindsight, I wished I'd made a fuss, but my reaction is to freeze. Talk to your boss. 1
mark clemson Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Yeah, consider describing the behavior to HR. Hopefully it's on camera or something. Consider trying to not to get the guy fired, just reprimanded so it stops.
Author Springsummer Posted October 12, 2019 Author Posted October 12, 2019 na, he is a 'friend'. I just need to make sure I know how to react and react quickly if next time such thing happens again.
GorillaTheater Posted October 12, 2019 Posted October 12, 2019 na, he is a 'friend'. I just need to make sure I know how to react and react quickly if next time such thing happens again. You tell him "no, stop". You give him one chance. He does it again? File a complaint with HR and maybe y'all's common boss, no matter how many layers up. But read your sexual harassment policies to make sure you don't miss a trick.
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