Nobel Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 I have been in a serious relationship for nearly five years; and we have talked about getting married, kids, house, etc. She put no pressure on me to get married, we just talked about it. All of a sudden I feel like I don't care for her anymore, I mean just like that. Why?
Merin Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 How old are the 2 of you? 5 Years is awhile to have been in a serious relationship and still not have taken the step towards marriage.. (unless there are/were other factors there like one or both had been married before, one or both have been in school, etc) All relationships go through the up's and the down's.. so is it possible that right now is one of those times for you at least? People often outgrown one another as well, or change while the other remains the same... the only person who can really answer your question here is you... Really think about this.. are you feeling this way because while she hasn't put pressure on you to get married and start a family perhaps you've got some guilt there anyway (knowing it really is what she wants)
Author Nobel Posted September 30, 2005 Author Posted September 30, 2005 The ages are 26 and 27, I enjoy being with her, but I get scared thinking about losing her. I've gotten so freaked out that breaking up with her would make me feel relieved, but I still want to be with her. Messed up huh
Merin Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 The ages are 26 and 27, I enjoy being with her, but I get scared thinking about losing her. I've gotten so freaked out that breaking up with her would make me feel relieved, but I still want to be with her. Messed up huh Honestly... it sounds like you're afraid of the what if's... know what I mean? Are the 2 of you spending to much time together? Do you live together?
megabit15 Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 Ever read 'He's scared, She's Scared' by Steven Carter? It talks about the exact phenomenon you've described.
Author Nobel Posted September 30, 2005 Author Posted September 30, 2005 No I never heard of the book, what issue do they mention. We see each other almost everyday for maybe 2-3 hours a day.
megabit15 Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 The book is about stumbling blocks regarding intimacy/committment. The reason I mention it is because you've described a 'sudden switch' in feelings. A 'sudden switch' in feelings like this seems to indicate something going on inside you. I presume you suspect as much yourself, and is why you posted. I've had 'sudden switches' too. Anyway, the book is quite good in identifying what's going on and it gave me one a different perspective about these things. I wish I had it years ago - could've saved a lot of heartache for me and others. I highly recommend it.
Author Nobel Posted September 30, 2005 Author Posted September 30, 2005 The funny thing through all this is that I don't feel like I am "hanging on" to the relationship, but there is something inside me that will not end it. I love her, but I'm scared, I get so freaked out that I start to believe that I have been in a relationship with her just to be in a relationship. It doesn't make sense, but I guess fear can manifest almost anything.
Author Nobel Posted September 30, 2005 Author Posted September 30, 2005 I don't understand how you go from looking to get married, them to not wanting anything to do with them. As odd as this sounds, I enjoy her company very much, we can talk for hours on end. Am I scared to really love her, am I scared because I can't tell the future and I don't know if we'll be together forever. I tell myself, "if you enjoy being with her" (which I do) "then why the #$%^% are you stressing yourself out" Can anyone out relate or know of this type of experience.
Lovecub10000000 Posted October 1, 2005 Posted October 1, 2005 My BF is acting weird. He's been talking to popular boys alot and whenever they bring me up he talks about nothing but my body. Of coarse he only talks this way when he's around popular kids. But the strange thing is he even talks about me that way when I'm around too. Its scaring me I mean he never used to talk about me like that? Is he going through a phase or is he just trying to look like the alpha male? He talks sweet about me to my friends and his real friends. Does he think the popular boys will laugh at him if he talks about his feelings for me to them? He always talks to my friends and his friends about his feelings for me. Hoping that me and him get married that we have a good life together. I need to know what's going on. Its totally freaking me out and I'm hard to freakout. He talks that way to me don't get me wrong he thinks I'm pretty with make-up on beautiful without it and his neighbor Tiffany tells me what he says about me its so sweet I can't help but smile brightly.
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