max3732 Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 On a free dating site (POF) someone hacked in my account and changed the pictures to some wrestler or something and also changed my name. As far as I can tell he kept everything else the same. All of a sudden my phone was buzzing and I got like 10 matches in an hour when I don't normally get 10 matches a month. As soon as I could I logged into my account, deleted all the pictures, changed the password, and setup 2 step verification. I'm still a bit nervous about putting my pictures back up though. Something that surprised me was his opening message and the responses he got. He had the brilliant and original message "hello how are you doing today?" then asked about how their day was going. The profile pic he used was standing at a nascar event, then a selfie flexing his bicep, a dark one looking up with him and some other guy, a cat, him drinking from a bottle holding a gym back in front of gym with his shirt off, and him on a jet ski. Apparently this worked because of all the matches. Obviously the guy is tall with huge muscles and I'm never going to look like that. That being said I thought women didn't like guys showing off their biceps, abs, or having gym shots. I also thought a message asking how she's doing wouldn't get many responses since it was just a copy and paste, generic message. His follow up was also included a generic thing about his name and his nickname. After seeing that I decided to update my pictures to see if it makes a difference. Any research on what to include or not include? On Match I have the typical headshot, then put a full body taken with a great camera in good lighting, and then me doing various activities or at different locations where I look good. How many pictures on the site is too many? Definitely seems like pictures are the most important thing and women definitely will talk to a Hulk Hogan type guy no matter what he says.
Rayce Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 I have been back on match now less than a month and I am already bored with it. Some of the profile pictures I have clicked on seemed to go on and on... lots of landscape pictures and pictures of other people or animals… personally that is not what I am hoping to see. I just want to see a couple of pictures of the guy. A head shot, full body and a couple of random ones. I wish you luck in your search.
dramallama Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Well I'm no expert but I seem to do pretty well online so I'll tell you what I like... - Nice face shot. Smile! - Something where you're showing yourself doing an interest / hobby - it's easy for people to say 'yeah I like doing x' to make themselves sound more interesting - show me it's real - Something so I can tell your general physique - you don't have to be stacked at all but one guy showed up about 3 stone heavier than his pictures and I wasn't overly delighted about that - it wouldn't have put me off but showed he was insecure - Hairline - again, it's not a deal breaker, just be damned honest and don't hide it in lots of hat shots - Something full length so I've got a clue how tall you are - Classic black tie - do the James Bond look, it's *always* a winner Any more than 4/5 pics feels a bit much to me, but I don't use POF so I'm not sure what the usual is there. As for conversational openers, the ones that try to be intelligent / intriguing come across as try hard. People who just emote - GAH, go away teenager. People who just say 'hi' - depends what mood I'm in and what their profile is like. People who use my photos as an opener - hmm, don't really like it, objectify me harder please Good luck out there!
Ruby Slippers Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 The same thing happened to me on a free site. I deactivated my account last year when I met someone. Then about 6 months later, I started getting tons of emails about messages coming in. I logged in to see that someone had taken over my account, left all the text and info the same, but replaced the photos with some model-looking military chick. It was staggering to see how pages and pages of men were falling over themselves to keep a conversation going when her messages and replies were just "hey" and similar. Of course, you hear that looks trump all, but it was really a wake-up call to see it confirmed so clearly. I let the first page of guys know what was up and deleted the profile.
Author max3732 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 The same thing happened to me on a free site. I deactivated my account last year when I met someone. Then about 6 months later, I started getting tons of emails about messages coming in. I logged in to see that someone had taken over my account, left all the text and info the same, but replaced the photos with some model-looking military chick. It was staggering to see how pages and pages of men were falling over themselves to keep a conversation going when her messages and replies were just "hey" and similar. Of course, you hear that looks trump all, but it was really a wake-up call to see it confirmed so clearly. I let the first page of guys know what was up and deleted the profile. Guess it's not just the women who are so into looks. Sometimes I'll message someone and get short answers like that with the hopes of getting something more substantial, but I've found they they're usually a bot.
Author max3732 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 (edited) As for conversational openers, the ones that try to be intelligent / intriguing come across as try hard. People who just emote - GAH, go away teenager. People who just say 'hi' - depends what mood I'm in and what their profile is like. People who use my photos as an opener - hmm, don't really like it, objectify me harder please What kind of opener do you like then? I usually look at all her pictures and read over the bio and pick something interesting that I can ask about or we have in common. My success ratio is horrible. I heard someone say to come up with puns based on her name. I tried that a few times and the women blocked me. So that didn't work. Edited October 17, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote edited
Ruby Slippers Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 What kind of opener do you like then? I usually look at all her pictures and read over the bio and pick something interesting that I can ask about or we have in common. To me, this is perfect. Keep it simple. If she's interested, she'll reply. It's pretty clear to me by now that a lot of people on dating sites aren't looking for anything of substance. To a lot of people, it seems to be more like shopping for a toy than looking for a real partner.
Trail Blazer Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 (edited) I heard someone say to come up with puns based on her name. I tried that a few times and the women blocked me. So that didn't work. I'm on POF and thankfully my account hasn't been hacked! I do agree about the puns based on her name. I just try to be a little original with all my messages and puns can allow you to be a little creative. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I'll give you a couple of examples. One girl I messaged, her name is Jenna and username was jenjen1985. So, my opening line was, "I don't like repeating myself, but hi jenjen hi jenjen." She replied saying she's confused and I explained that I said I was seeing double so I thought I had to say two greetings. Jenna replied, "OMG that's terrible" with plenty of laugh emojis, then explained that her three-year-old nephew calls her aunty Jen Jen and it was her sister (mother of her nephew) who encouraged her to join POF, so she chose jenjen as she thought it was cute. I got a date with Jenna, we met up, quickly realized that we had a relationahip which worked much better as friends who banter than a romantic one. So, we're still friends to this day (about five months ago) and banter on Facebook and Snapchat. Another example of this, where I wasn't so successful was with a similar username. A girl named Taylor, her username was taytay with some random, non-birth year numbers attached. My opening line was, "Hi taytay, hit me up and I'll make your dayday." She replied, "LAME" and when I replied, "Come on, you had a chuckle" I got nothing but crickets chirping. Edited October 9, 2019 by Trail Blazer
haikss3 Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 (edited) Dating sites are shallow and good girls don't stay there long or don't even use them. Highest quality girls I ever met never used dating sites. I used sites for years with no luck until figured out how they work. Then had more dates than I could handle only to find out mentioned above and that most girls on those sites have huge problems. I rather meet girl from real life with who I have a lot in common and who maybe been single for years and haven't dated either, than a girl from site with no same interests and views on life. Also you never know if that site girls is chatting behind your back with other guys when you are dating and once you break up she probably back on the site the same night. 20 guys on one girl proportion on those sites is just not worth it. Once you get a life and courage you don't need them damn sites anymore, son. Edited October 10, 2019 by haikss3 2
smackie9 Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 LOL well it's not just about looks but about showing confidence. A guy that does a lot of sport activities ie: jets skiing, working out, fit and active is appealing to a lot women. Not only is he selling himself, but the lifestyle. Women are picturing themselves on the back of that jet ski having fun. No different than a travel brochure right? He has offerings of fun and adventure.
preraph Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 Maybe the same person who hacked your account also faked a bunch of women liking the new you. 1
haikss3 Posted October 10, 2019 Posted October 10, 2019 Women are picturing themselves on the back of that jet ski having fun. Come on the back of my jet ski, girl, and take your kitty with ya! Lol just kidding.
Author max3732 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Posted October 10, 2019 LOL well it's not just about looks but about showing confidence. A guy that does a lot of sport activities ie: jets skiing, working out, fit and active is appealing to a lot women. Not only is he selling himself, but the lifestyle. Women are picturing themselves on the back of that jet ski having fun. No different than a travel brochure right? He has offerings of fun and adventure. I've got a bunch of different activity pictures...skiing, tennis, kayaking, off-roading, travel etc. Doesn't seem to be working for me.
TheFinalWord Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Large muscles aren't all it's cracked up to be. You can see my avatar. I have 20" biceps. More muscle than the average guy, by a long shot. Yes, it does bring some women, but it's not the end all be all. The e-mails this person was getting was probably part of the scam, or system the scammer was using.
Gretchen12 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 Definitely seems like pictures are the most important thing and women definitely will talk to a Hulk Hogan type guy no matter what he says. You can't generalize, not all women. I certainly would not be attracted to Hulk Hogan for the muscles. No way! Of course I want to be with the Incredible Hulk (green guy) because he is a good person. He helps others and he is smart. 1
Author max3732 Posted October 11, 2019 Author Posted October 11, 2019 What about poses in your pictures? Other than action ones how should I be standing? Today I went to a garden had someone take my picture and was thinking about how I should pose in the picture after I got back and looked at them. In one I'm standing there with my arms straight down at my side and with my body towards the camera, which I don't think looks very good. When there is something like a railing I usually rest my arm against it, but I can't put that in all my pictures. I mean,if I'm standing in front beautiful scenery or something interesting how should I be standing for these profile pics?
Gretchen12 Posted October 11, 2019 Posted October 11, 2019 You can have one hand in a pocket. Put your weight on your heel, one or both. Try to look relaxed.
Allupinnit Posted October 15, 2019 Posted October 15, 2019 Did someone really hack your account, or did you put up a fake profile to see what kind of response you would get with a hotter guy's photos? Asking because I've seen several male posters on here do the same thing, then come on here to complain that all women are shallow whilst at the same time complaining that only "fatties" hit them up LOL. Just seems like a REAL stretch that someone would go through all the trouble of hacking into your account on a free dating website and switch out your photos for no reason. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 Just seems like a REAL stretch that someone would go through all the trouble of hacking into your account on a free dating website and switch out your photos for no reason. It happened to me. I think it was a bot of some kind, either one that infiltrated the site, or one operating on behalf of the site. These sites only care about making money, and the longer they get people to hang out on the site, the more ad revenue they generate. So hot bots may be part of their strategy. It wouldn't surprise me a bit. Asking because I've seen several male posters on here do the same thing, then come on here to complain that all women are shallow whilst at the same time complaining that only "fatties" hit them up LOL. Reminds of this time a very overweight guy on a dating site messaged to ask me if I wear bikinis to the beach LOL 1
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