Flame Aura Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Because to me, when I make the decision to be with someone, that I want to be there for someone, and especially if I love someone, it really holds its value. Because it is unconditional love. And I'm in it for the long haul. I guess i'm more or so dating with a purpose at this point in my life. This is exactly how I thought when I had just turned 20 after I finished with my first ever girlfriend who I didn't really love. I met someone new, was all in, fell in love for the first time, thought it was for ever, until she decided she didn't want it. Couple years later met someone else, same thing again, this is it for life. We ended up breaking up 2 years later. I am now in love for the 3rd time in my life, hopefully this time it will actually be for ever. I guess my point is don't get too caught up in the 'plan' and expect xyz to happen as you will end up disappointed, like I did the first 2 times. Just go with the flow and if it's meant to be for life, it will be. And c'mon just contact her already. 1
Author jjb117 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 If that's what you want then off course you should tell her this. Life is too short to regret things. If it doesn't work at least you followed your heart and tried. Normally I don't advocate going back to an ex as they are an ex for a reason, but you were only together for a couple of months so things barely even got off the ground, maybe it's possible to start fresh going forward. You know what, **** it. This has always been my mantra.
Author jjb117 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 This is exactly how I thought when I had just turned 20 after I finished with my first ever girlfriend who I didn't really love. I met someone new, was all in, fell in love for the first time, thought it was for ever, until she decided she didn't want it. Couple years later met someone else, same thing again, this is it for life. We ended up breaking up 2 years later. I am now in love for the 3rd time in my life, hopefully this time it will actually be for ever. I guess my point is don't get too caught up in the 'plan' and expect xyz to happen as you will end up disappointed, like I did the first 2 times. Just go with the flow and if it's meant to be for life, it will be. And c'mon just contact her already. The word "courage" has been everywhere today. I'm taking it as a sign. Whether or not things go my way, as long as I follow my heart, i'll always have peace in mind. Thank you so much. Even though you're merely just a stranger, you have no idea how much you've helped me! Again, thank you. 1
Gaeta Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 That in my last relationship, it took 3 months to be exclusive with one another and 6 months to even utter the words "I love you." This sounds like normal to me. Nowadays people like to establish exclusivity earlier but it's mostly to make sure the person you're dating is not having sex with other partners. No one expects a man or a woman to fall in love in 5 weeks. Also exclusivity is not a commitment of the heart, it's a commitment of physical loyalty while you get to know each other. If after 3 months of exclusively dating someone you decide your feelings aren't developing you're NOT betraying anyone, or betraying yourself, by breaking up. Finding love is a journey of several months, not weeks. Because it is unconditional love. And I'm in it for the long haul. I guess i'm more or so dating with a purpose at this point in my life. There is no unconditional romantic love. You love someone under the condition they will love you back. With that being said, having already met her friends and family, and having already had sex, having already spoken about some deep insecurities between both of us, insecurities crept in by saying "Do you really want to be with this person? You don't ask yourself these important questions after 5 weeks dating. After reflection you think you do want to be with her but you barely know her! Give yourself some slack here and time to really get to know her before jumping in this 'this is serious unconditional love'. You need a GOOD 2 years dating to decide if this is someone for a long term commitment. .
Lotsgoingon Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 It's just...i'm kicking myself for doing what I did. My issue wasn't how I felt but how I dealt with it. Instead of talking about it like an adult, I bolted. Instead of trying to make it work, I left. And I left through text. How cowardly. God, I still don't understand the rationale. But in your earlier thread, you say you would meet with her and she would be cold and silent and distant. Something ain't right here. Bolting without reason can freak out the other person for sure. But ... if things were rocky to begin with, then bolting isn't as big a deal. Doesn't sound like you guys ever had a steady connection ... yet you're writing here as you were married 20 years and then left without saying a word. Sounds like you were connecting for a few weeks.
Author jjb117 Posted October 10, 2019 Author Posted October 10, 2019 this is exactly how i thought when i had just turned 20 after i finished with my first ever girlfriend who i didn't really love. I met someone new, was all in, fell in love for the first time, thought it was for ever, until she decided she didn't want it. Couple years later met someone else, same thing again, this is it for life. We ended up breaking up 2 years later. I am now in love for the 3rd time in my life, hopefully this time it will actually be for ever. I guess my point is don't get too caught up in the 'plan' and expect xyz to happen as you will end up disappointed, like i did the first 2 times. Just go with the flow and if it's meant to be for life, it will be. And c'mon just contact her already. it worked!!! Ahhhhhh!!
Recommended Posts