FMW Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 Again, just straight up ask - "why no Fridays?" I certainly don't think that's intrusive with someone you are or are planning to be intimate with. Otherwise you're going to just work yourself up with the million and one possible reasons. 2
Gretchen12 Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 I have an ex-bf, who went to AA meetings Friday evenings. What kind of girl would be willing to see him only Fridays? 1
Gaeta Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 I will also add one weird thing. When he brought up the weekend away, he said he couldn't do October, because his family was visiting hm, but he didn't know which weekend yet. It seems odd to block off an entire month based on one weekend that you don't have on the books yet. Why not figure out the weekend and then work around it? It's not weird, his family told them they're visiting in October but don't know yet which weekend so he can't take a chance to book something with you then they decide to come into town that same weekend. If you want to have a saying in this guy's schedule then ask him for exclusivity. You want girlfriend's privilege without being the girlfriend. Do you only have weekends away? You don't do regular dating? .
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 8, 2019 Author Posted October 8, 2019 It's not weird, his family told them they're visiting in October but don't know yet which weekend so he can't take a chance to book something with you then they decide to come into town that same weekend. If you want to have a saying in this guy's schedule then ask him for exclusivity. You want girlfriend's privilege without being the girlfriend. Do you only have weekends away? You don't do regular dating? . Well, it is a bit of a short-distance thing. Nothing super long distance, but far enough that we can't just see each other here and there during the week. So, yes, weekends are really the only time we are able to see each other. I have an ex-bf, who went to AA meetings Friday evenings. What kind of girl would be willing to see him only Fridays? It's not that I am only willing to see him on Fridays. It's just that his lack of Fridays has be worried. I don't want to be the other woman that he is cheating on a girlfriend with. Again, just straight up ask - "why no Fridays?" I certainly don't think that's intrusive with someone you are or are planning to be intimate with. Otherwise you're going to just work yourself up with the million and one possible reasons. I think this may be my angle, actually. If nothing else, being straight up about it, I will hopefully be able to see by his reaction if he is being honest and forthright or is he acting nervous. For all you know, he could be having a housekeeper come on Friday. I mean, it could be anything. He sounds like a guy who doesn't like to overbook. I'm the same way. He doesn't want to create pressure around when his family is coming. Also, if you two haven't had the talk and agreed to be "exclusive," then yes, he could have another date -- or he could be going to a bachelor party or to a company function or having dinner with someone. Really, you're overthinking it. Sit back and relax and see what he WILL do, not what he won't do so you'll know how invested he is when left to his own pace and initiative. Don't be pushing at this stage. See what he'll do to further your relationship on his own. Seeing his house, I would be SHOCKED if this was the case. Haha. You are right. I should just sit back and continue to let things unfold, as I have been. The thing is, he has been texting me and initiating and things like that. It's just our conversations have been less than stellar since our weekend together. And the whole Friday thing has me concerned. But...as long as he's talking to me, I will take a deep breath and leave it alone. Because he's waiting to find out from them which weekend. Maybe their plans are still up in the air. There's nothing wrong about how he's approaching it. You sound annoyed that you can't control his time. No, it's not about controlling his time. It's just about looking at what makes sense and what doesn't, and trying my best not to be made the fool, or worse, find myself dating a man who is already with someone else. 2
kendahke Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 No, it's not about controlling his time. It's just about looking at what makes sense and what doesn't, and trying my best not to be made the fool, or worse, find myself dating a man who is already with someone else. For someone who has all of these things she's petrified of, I'm not getting why you are so adverse to getting the pertinent information which you need in order to not be made a fool of or worse, finding yourself with a man who is already with someone else. I'd say get over that and ask him if you need to know. You have every right to let him know that monogamy is your jam, being one of a number isn't what you're interested in and if he's still dating around, that's something you need to know so you can decide if it's in your best interests to keep on seeing him, hoping he off-loads the other chicks on your timetable. 1
Miss Spider Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 Please ask.. Now * I’m * really curious what this dude is doing on Fridays lol 1
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 8, 2019 Author Posted October 8, 2019 Please ask.. Now * I’m * really curious what this dude is doing on Fridays lol Right? Right? I think the fact that he is usually so open with me is what makes this such a mystery. Obviously, if he was like, "Yeah, babe, Fridays are no good, it's my weekly meeting with the Klan." that wouldn't be a good thing. That would be a problem. But, at least I'd know, and wouldn't be wondering. My initial suspicion was that it was game night with his boys. He's told me about his gaming before, so it doesn't make sense that he would keep it from me. And we are back to speculation time. 1
preraph Posted October 8, 2019 Posted October 8, 2019 Does he drink or do substances? If not, it could very well be AA meeting.
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 8, 2019 Author Posted October 8, 2019 Does he drink or do substances? If not, it could very well be AA meeting. It's a possibility, but I know that he drinks relatively regularly, so it doesn't seem to me he is trying to quit. He drinks more than I would like, but I've never seen him sloppy drunk. Anytime I've talked to him during or after a time he has been drinking, he has never seemed off or anything like....slurring words or acting strange. When we had our weekend together, he didn't have a drink that whole time, so it doesn't seem to be an addiction necessarily. As far as other substances, that is maybe another question to ask him.
Fair Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 He's with another woman. He's unavailable and secretive. What else could it be? 1
Gretchen12 Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 It's not that I am only willing to see him on Fridays. It's just that his lack of Fridays has be worried. I don't want to be the other woman that he is cheating on a girlfriend with. Hahaha no no no. I was saying the hypothetical other woman only gets Fridays. I doubt most women would be ok with that. She's willing to only see him Fridays. Not that you are only willing to see him Fridays.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 When I read the title of this thread I thought it was going to be about having the kids on Friday nights. Are you sure he doesn't have a child/children? 2
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 He's with another woman. He's unavailable and secretive. What else could it be? Yeah, that would be my gut reaction too. And, if it was a Friday here and there, I would say he might just be dating around. If it's a standing thing, that makes it sound more serious than someone he is just dating around with. Hahaha no no no. I was saying the hypothetical other woman only gets Fridays. I doubt most women would be ok with that. She's willing to only see him Fridays. Not that you are only willing to see him Fridays. Ohhhhhh....gotcha. Well, yeah that makes sense. Of course, if the girl was really busy with work or other things, perhaps Friday is her only available day. When I read the title of this thread I thought it was going to be about having the kids on Friday nights. Are you sure he doesn't have a child/children? Well I can't say I am sure about anything at this point. I would say I am 99.9% sure he does not have kids. If he does, there is a LOT of information and lies we would need to discuss. But nothing would shock me anymore. 1
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Ohhhhhh....gotcha. Well, yeah that makes sense. Of course, if the girl was really busy with work or other things, perhaps Friday is her only available day. Yeah, maybe your guy doesn't have kids, but maybe "she" does and Friday nights are her kid-free night. 1
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 Yeah, maybe your guy doesn't have kids, but maybe "she" does and Friday nights are her kid-free night. Oooooooohhhhh......another big possibility. And it makes a lot of sense. A few weeks ago, he was cleaning out his junk room, and when I asked why, he said he just needed to get rid of stuff. Maybe he is making room for a nursery? Or kids' room.
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 He's with another woman. He's unavailable and secretive. What else could it be? I thought Fair was being facetious. Hahaha no no no. I was saying the hypothetical other woman only gets Fridays. I doubt most women would be ok with that. She's willing to only see him Fridays. Not that you are only willing to see him Fridays. Seems to me it would be unusual to have a standing date for Fridays only. When I read the title of this thread I thought it was going to be about having the kids on Friday nights. Are you sure he doesn't have a child/children? Agree, it seems more likely he has some sort of family or long time friend commitment than another woman, to me. But, is he a trustworthy person in other ways besides male/female relationships? Is he a person you respect?
Shining One Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Please ask.. Now * I’m * really curious what this dude is doing on Fridays lolIt's probably his D&D night. That's not something a guy would reveal to most women early on. 2
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 It's probably his D&D night. That's not something a guy would reveal to most women early on. Is this seriously a thing in 2019? 1
PegNosePete Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Is this seriously a thing in 2019? Monday night is my D&D night. 2
schlumpy Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Obviously, if he was like, "Yeah, babe, Fridays are no good, it's my weekly meeting with the Klan." that wouldn't be a good thing. That would be a problem. But, at least I'd know, and wouldn't be wondering. Without any hard evidence I'm delighted to see that you can have a sense of humor about it although I find nothing wrong with your caution. How about he takes lessons in Ball Room Dancing on Friday nights? 1
Blind-Sided Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Is this seriously a thing in 2019? Actually... it is. My 13yo daughter and a few of her friends play it. 1
SumGuy Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Is this seriously a thing in 2019? It’s very resurgent amongst 20 somethings I know. And still folks in there 40s and 50s carrying it on. Geekdom has shed many of the stereotypes and prejudices of the 80s, e.g. Joe Maggiano and Vin Diesel are big proponents and players.
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 It's probably his D&D night. That's not something a guy would reveal to most women early on. Another good possibility. Like I said, a boys night with his buddies for gaming isn't outside the realm of possibility, but him being secretive about it doesn't make a lot of sense. He has been very up front with me about his gaming, and he has also suggested to me that I try out D&D. So, I doubt that he would be would feel the need to not tell me about his gaming. Without any hard evidence I'm delighted to see that you can have a sense of humor about it although I find nothing wrong with your caution. How about he takes lessons in Ball Room Dancing on Friday nights? I mean....maaaaaaybe? I'll keep that in our back pocket, but it's more on the least likely scenarios. Thank you for seeing nothing wrong with my concern. Like I have said...he doesn't owe me anything, I'm not trying to be controlling. I just want to be sure that I am not wasting my time with some jerk who is cheating on someone with me.
SumGuy Posted October 9, 2019 Posted October 9, 2019 Have you asked him why not Friday? That to me is the healthiest way to approach these things. If he is into gaming and even suggested D&D it (how did you respond? That was a feeler you know) could well be it. Not sure how old he is but stigma around it may still be present or he may not want to get into an argument like “you’d rather do D&D on Friday night than be with me”. Would bet you he’s heard it before if that is the case. If you can ask him let to him know it is good with you that you each can have separate things to do Friday and your just curious as he has been so open about everything else;... then do so. It may be an oversight he didn’t explain, or it could be many other things he doesn’t want to get into. I think jumping to the conclusion it is another woman he has a standing date with is more projection and insecurity than anything else unless there is other clear objective evidence (not supposition) he has such an arrangement. Just saying have seen people destroy a good thing when they start spinning wheels and get in an echo chambers of their fears (usually with the all my friends think so) mentality.
Author TheBlingRing14 Posted October 9, 2019 Author Posted October 9, 2019 (edited) Have you asked him why not Friday? That to me is the healthiest way to approach these things. If he is into gaming and even suggested D&D it (how did you respond? That was a feeler you know) could well be it. Not sure how old he is but stigma around it may still be present or he may not want to get into an argument like “you’d rather do D&D on Friday night than be with me”. Would bet you he’s heard it before if that is the case. If you can ask him let to him know it is good with you that you each can have separate things to do Friday and your just curious as he has been so open about everything else;... then do so. It may be an oversight he didn’t explain, or it could be many other things he doesn’t want to get into. I think jumping to the conclusion it is another woman he has a standing date with is more projection and insecurity than anything else unless there is other clear objective evidence (not supposition) he has such an arrangement. Just saying have seen people destroy a good thing when they start spinning wheels and get in an echo chambers of their fears (usually with the all my friends think so) mentality. Oh I am sure there is an insecurity aspect to it. It just seems like I am always the second option or getting cheated on or whatever. I guess I do kind of expect it now. So have you asked him yet? No, I have not spoken to him yet. My plan is to have a phone call with him tonight so it would be a good opportunity to address some of these concerns. Edited October 9, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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