nosybear819 Posted September 29, 2005 Posted September 29, 2005 When I came into work today before I even had time to get situated my boss brought to my attention the obituary of a guy who used to work in the same city as us. I "dated" this particular guy for a short period of time however I haven't talked to him in almost a year. I was shocked to see the photo and was hoping perhaps that it could be someone else - I was in disbelief. I've been crying and thinking back to our short lived relationship about why I liked him instead of the reasons that caused us to stop communicating. He was going through such hard times in his life, first he lost his job, next his house burned down among other things. I heard from one of our mutual friends that he'd gotten into more trouble just last week. I've been going over it in my head and thinking that I should've called him when I knew he was going through so much. Instead the 2nd time I heard that he'd done something I erased his number from my phone. I shouldn't have done that. Our "relationship" was short lived and far from serious however I knew him long enough that I should've called him when I knew he was down instead of turning my back. I'm a better person than that. I'm sure if I was turning my back because of the persone he'd becomeothers were too. I regret thinking about calling to check on him but not acting on it. I don't know what my problem is. I don't even have a valid reason to feel so much emotion. Do I? He was my friend and I cared for him at one point and he had the same feeling s for me....but that was a looooong time ago. Why am I feeling so terrilby? It's been so long since we've spoke that I'm sure I was the last thing on his mind - prob rarely in his thoughts. I felt the same way - only thinking of him after hearing the latest bad thing he'd done. I feel even worse because Friday I after I'd heard the latest I was joking with a friend that I'm glad I stopped talking to him 'cuz look what a loser he turned into. And today 3 days later I'm reading his obituary in the news. He hadn't turned into a losed just fell into some hardships - I regret having said that. I haven't spoken to anyone yet about how it happened but I can only assume that he took his own life - considering. I surely can't understand why/how such a great person could end up like he did. I'd rather not know him living than to have known that he's dead. Am I silly for having such strong emotion about the whole situation? I mean, given that we used to be friends but haven't been in so long. I dunno...maybe I'm being dramatic and over re-acting.
sweetbrokensoul Posted September 30, 2005 Posted September 30, 2005 Yes girl you do have a right to mourn...Its a sad thing, don't stress yourself out-even if you kept in contact with him, it probably would've still happened-he had alot of personal and BIG problems going on. Just pray for him or perhaps, write him a letter and talk to him -tell him how you feel. If you can-thnk about the good times instead. I love you and am always here for you! YOUR DAWG-michigangirl76
Author nosybear819 Posted October 1, 2005 Author Posted October 1, 2005 Thanx michigangirl! Your response was very helpful. I'm glad someone here cared enough to respond to my post. I know it wasn't about me liking a boy and him not calling or whether or not the black girls are hotter than the white girls but it's something that mattered to me. Clearly not as important as some of the other topics here. That hurt my feelings a little bit that no one was concerned with my dumb situtation. I'm emotional and now on top of that I can't get any perspective Anyhow the funeral is tomorrow And I can't stop picturing him in the casket. I took your advice DAWG and I've been thinking of us during happier moments but I keep seeing him when he used to come up to work and that just makes me wish I could see him walk through those doors again...he always looked so cute in his uniform too. Aww... It's lame I know 'cuz it's been like 4ever since then but this reminds me of how I felt back then when I used to obsess about when he was going to call me to hang out or when I would see him, you know? But he'd always show up and make it seem ok & you know I was always giving him 2nd chances 'cuz he had such charm. Ne way..totally getting off the topic...I just can't grasp reality here...But I was only wanting to say thanks for writing back and showing that you care
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