Author d33f Posted November 23, 2019 Author Posted November 23, 2019 (edited) Yes, because she is mentally ill. She is bipolar. Her "cheating" is due to mania. She is not your common and garden cheater, who cheats because they just want to. She enters a manic phase and has little control of what happens during that phase. She likely thinks during the phase, she is acting normally, everything makes perfect sense to her, but to all around she is anything but normal. Real mental illness is scary stuff. Exactly this.. That is also the part which make it hard to leave her because now when she is normal she has a lot of remorse about the damage she has caused. Though on the other hand I know she won't change and I don't want to keep getting hurt. This last time she told me this time it really opened her eyes and will do everything she can to prevent it the next time. Sadly logically I can't go with that 'insight' because the next time she gets manic she thinks about all this in a 180 perspective. Sad thing is I can't turn off my heart and somewhere I want to believe she indeed has opened her eyes this time Edited November 23, 2019 by d33f
aliveagain Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 Not everyone with bipolar cheats, they still know right from wrong. The lack of boundaries must be deep within her some where, having affairs takes a lot of planing and deception. They also have a hard time understanding why your so hurt and are having such a hard time getting over it, it's only sex and after all she came home to you eventually, right? Do the math, work out how many years you have been married divide it by the number of time you caught her cheating(that you know about) and project what your future looks like with her assuming you both live another 50 years(you are 33 if I recall and this is her 3rd time cheating that you know of in the 14 years you've been with her). Looks like ever 4 years she cheats, your in for a lot of pain my friend. If she won't respect her vows to you maybe a brutal post nuptial agreement should be a requirement of being married to her. One that gives you the majority of the marriage assets and custody of your children if you divorce because of a new infidelity. Maybe that will get her attention.
preraph Posted November 23, 2019 Posted November 23, 2019 I think you're both checked out but in different ways. You work and go to school and then you spend 2-3 hours holed up gaming. When are you with your kids or helping her do housework or cooking or taxiing the kids around, shopping for them, taking them to school and everything? Yeah, she's probably husband shopping. I don't know how either of you find time to do anything at all besides work and take care of the kids. I think you both need to concentrate on that.
Recommended Posts