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Getting Her To Chase & Possible Love Triangle (Co-Worker Story)

BadMistakes

By BadMistakes
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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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PART I

 

Okay guys this is a two part question. So until last week or so I started to think a little that maybe two of my co-workers I talk to a lot might like me (females). One of them I noticed, goes out of her way to touch me the obvious arm, shoulder, finding reasons to hold my hands in hers when telling me something. The long and short of this is that she basically has a boyfriend who is relatively new and me and her kissed one night and she told me that I keep coming up in her mind when shes with him.

 

We then spoke at work about the situation and she asked me some odd stuff that I didn't know the answer to like "shall we forget about it, what do you think" it was quite and awkward shy convo between us and I said I enjoyed it and so did she and that I guess we should forget as she has a bf. However it seems very obvious she likes me. She makes crazy eye contact, ear-to-ear smiles, says hi the loudest in the morning to me etc

 

Qeustion: How can I get her to chase me she even said if we try to forget about it the feelings might grow stronger but I don't know what she was trying to get out of me when she was asking "so what shall we do, lets forget it?"

 

PART 2

 

So this same girl also told me she tried to set me up with this other girl I also talk to a lot and find very attractive vice versa. However she said it didn't work as I didn't ask her out yet. But basically people around work think we like each other.

 

CONCLUSION

 

What will happen if I ask out Girl2? I don't feel for her as strongly as I do for the first girl however I find her more sexually attractive but me and Girl1 get along very well and with Girl2 it's a bit forced.

 

So what I want to ask is, if I do go on a date with Girl2 will it make things awkward at work if we decide to stop dating, I'm not sure what I should be doing and I think if Girl1 was single I'd be going for her.

 

Thank you !

schlumpy Established Member

schlumpy

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Girl One seems to be manipulating you and you seem to be passively going along with it.

 

You like Girl one? Tell her to lose the BF then get in touch with you. Why complicate things with Girl two when you know that as soon as One is available you are going to go after her.

 

You do realize that she is cheating on her BF with you, right? If you are her BF in the future do you think that thought might bounce around in your head?

 

Two would seem the better option but I don't understand her relationship with One. If those two are cozy then you don't want to date two.

 

I still think that she is a manipulator and you might be her next project.

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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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Girl One seems to be manipulating you and you seem to be passively going along with it.

 

You like Girl one? Tell her to lose the BF then get in touch with you. Why complicate things with Girl two when you know that as soon as One is available you are going to go after her.

 

You do realize that she is cheating on her BF with you, right? If you are her BF in the future do you think that thought might bounce around in your head?

 

Two would seem the better option but I don't understand her relationship with One. If those two are cozy then you don't want to date two.

 

I still think that she is a manipulator and you might be her next project.

 

How is she a manipulator, I'm curious? I didn't know she had a bf until after it all went down she told me she kept it from me sort of purposely. But funny thing is this whole time working I've never been a creep or anything trying to hit on either of them. Also neither have they, Girl1 only started touching me and telling me I look good etc about a week ago. Before then I'd have no clue she was into me. But of course that is a red flag that shes been cheating and it would have an impact on me tbh

 

Ideally I don't want to be in a relationship with either as if I'm honest I don't have strong feelings for either of them. I just want to date for the time being. I meant if I did end up having to decide I would rather be with one I THINK...I haven't know them all that long tbh...

 

And they're both friends, not outside of work but good friends at work I guess?

 

EDIT: What do women mean when they ask these questions I listed above? Why was she asking me what do I want to do. I'm not going to say ditch your bf and leave me in fact I should have told her I don't like her that much....

Edited by BadMistakes
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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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Girl One seems to be manipulating you and you seem to be passively going along with it.

 

You like Girl one? Tell her to lose the BF then get in touch with you. Why complicate things with Girl two when you know that as soon as One is available you are going to go after her.

 

You do realize that she is cheating on her BF with you, right? If you are her BF in the future do you think that thought might bounce around in your head?

 

Two would seem the better option but I don't understand her relationship with One. If those two are cozy then you don't want to date two.

 

I still think that she is a manipulator and you might be her next project.

 

How is she a manipulator, I'm curious? I didn't know she had a bf until after it all went down she told me she kept it from me sort of purposely. But funny thing is this whole time working I've never been a creep or anything trying to hit on either of them.

 

Ideally I don't want to be in a relationship with either as if I'm honest I don't have strong feelings for either of them. I just want to date for the time being. I meant if I did end up having to decide I would rather be with one I THINK...I haven't know them all that long tbh...

 

And they're both friends, not outside of work but good friends at work I guess?

mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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I think the first girl likes you. But - why did she set you up with someone else? So, possibly that's manipulative - it's certainly confusing. Possibly she's a tease? Possibly she figures someone else might as well have you if she's already taken so she's playing matchmaker?

 

This is N/A since I'm married, but if I had a girl flirting with me that much I'd almost certainly just ask her out. There is no need to increase the current level of "chasing" you've already reached. Tell her to ditch the BF. She might say no, but at least that would settle it.

 

The problem of course is this is a work context. Dating co-workers often violates policies and can lead to huge woes up to and including firings and lawsuits. So, suggest you opt for girl 2 (if she's not in the same workplace with you) or tell girl 1 to set you up with a different friend who doesn't work there.

mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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I'm not going to say ditch your bf and leave me in fact I should have told her I don't like her that much....

 

 

Ah missed that. Well, tell her to look you up if she's ever single and/or to set you up with someone from outside your work. She's probably getting a vicarious thrill from playing matchmaker.

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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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I think the first girl likes you. But - why did she set you up with someone else? So, possibly that's manipulative - it's certainly confusing. Possibly she's a tease? Possibly she figures someone else might as well have you if she's already taken so she's playing matchmaker?

 

This is N/A since I'm married, but if I had a girl flirting with me that much I'd almost certainly just ask her out. There is no need to increase the current level of "chasing" you've already reached. Tell her to ditch the BF. She might say no, but at least that would settle it.

 

The problem of course is this is a work context. Dating co-workers often violates policies and can lead to huge woes up to and including firings and lawsuits. So, suggest you opt for girl 2 (if she's not in the same workplace with you) or tell girl 1 to set you up with a different friend who doesn't work there.

 

So basically she said she asked me if I like Girl2 and also asked Girl2 if she likes me in the hopes I'd ask out Girl2 and then we'd be dating and she would have to get over her feelings for me. Ofc I didn't ask her out and a day or two after she asked me this we made out etc

 

Also we all work together, that's why I'm hesitant with both of them tbh

 

Ah missed that. Well, tell her to look you up if she's ever single and/or to set you up with someone from outside your work. She's probably getting a vicarious thrill from playing matchmaker.

 

I think her feelings are genuine, how much she feels I'm not sure. Obviously she's thinking of me outside of work and when with her bf as she said herself.

 

My feelings still aren't as strong because in general I'm very very skeptical about women after my last relationship which really taught me a lot and changed me as a person + I like the job I'm at and dont really want to jeopardize it for either of them...but then again...

schlumpy Established Member

schlumpy

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How is she a manipulator, I'm curious?

 

That she tried to get you date her friend when she knew you liked her seems very odd and manipulative. That the two are friends makes me think they are having some workplace fun with you.

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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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That she tried to get you date her friend when she knew you liked her seems very odd and manipulative. That the two are friends makes me think they are having some workplace fun with you.

 

Sorry I didn't explain properly. They dont know I like them I've never given off any sign that I'm interested because to be frank I'm not as in I like them both but I'm not bothered about dating them right then and now. Girl1 is the one who started touching me at work, giving compliments etc and also the one who kissed me, I didn't move to her like that.

 

She also said she asked me if I like Girl2 in hopes I'd get with her and then she would be forced to move on (Girl2 also likes me) but is more stand offish as in she won't touch me etc I think we spoke and she's more down to have "fun"

ajequals Established Member

ajequals

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I'd tell her how you feel ,that you like her ,if she made out with you she is not 100% committed in her relationship ..if nothing happens move on. some women like the power of seeing if your interested , being you made out make me think the door is open

 

 

I've honestly been in the same situation and it didn't work out with the one I kissed , I didn't make a move on the other girl so. years later I Kinda wish I did ,she was a hot redhead

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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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Okay thanks guys for reply. I need some serious advice, I seen them both at work and I think I like the personality of girl1 who has a bf, what can I do from here on is it bad to tell her I like her too?

mark clemson Established Member

mark clemson

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Serious advice: since it's at work AND she has a BF, suggest you ignore her and move on OR enjoy the flirting but don't let this turn into anything.

 

Don't make out or similar at work as that's the sort of thing that can get one fired. In fact don't make out with her at all unless/until one of you works somewhere else and she ends it with the BF.

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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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Serious advice: since it's at work AND she has a BF, suggest you ignore her and move on OR enjoy the flirting but don't let this turn into anything.

 

Don't make out or similar at work as that's the sort of thing that can get one fired. In fact don't make out with her at all unless/until one of you works somewhere else and she ends it with the BF.

 

Thanks a lot I guess this would be the most rational way of thinking. Problem is I think I myself am confused and like her more than I care to admit, especially as I know she likes me now...we get along so well and I feel really comfortable with her.

 

But at the same time maybe it's best to suppress the feelings whilst it's early...

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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This has disaster written all over it.

Stay away from both.

This is your work.

The last thing you want is to get into the middle of two co-workers.

They fall out, they both end up hating you and you have to try and work with them...

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BadMistakes Member

BadMistakes

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This has disaster written all over it.

Stay away from both.

This is your work.

The last thing you want is to get into the middle of two co-workers.

They fall out, they both end up hating you and you have to try and work with them...

 

Why so? If we forget about Girl2 the only bad thing here is that Girl1 cheated on her bf and intentionally didn't tell me about him this whole time we've known each other (2months)...

 

I haven't made any advancements to Girl2 so she has nothing to go against me if me and first girl do get together. Each day I see Girl1 it's so obvious how she feels and things she says..also I'm getting butterflies when I see her now

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