Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 Because its early days. I cant know for sure what hes really like yet.
dramallama Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 But you do already know that he's not open, he's not honest, he's not career driven (he's 25, at that age I had a sports car & a deposit for a house etc), he can't talk to you about his problems. He's not a total dreamboat, he's a flaky father, he's got some entanglement with his ex that bothers you. All he's got going for him is that's he's funny and you get convenient access to sex, from what I can see? And even then YOU have to drive! 1
Versacehottie Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 You ARE the side chick. She has the ability to tug on his emotions; you do not. You are a temporary distraction which he hides from her--the person he really cares about. I also find your manner of dissecting this information very frustrating. You want to see what's going on in your own fantasy land, I guess that's fine but then why continue to post endlessly, rehashing and rehashing minute points and playing both ends of the spectrum if he has the potential to be into you & stick with you vs potential to be into her/leave you. At this point, IMO this thread should be moved to cheating, jealousy forum since that's the majority of what is going on here. The endless loop is exhausting. You aren't making progress.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 I cant speak for him as a father. I know he doesnt see them often but ive never seen the children so dont know what hes like with them. We've been going out more now, ive met more of his friends and hes told his ex hes seeing someone so it must be more than just sex?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 You ARE the side chick. She has the ability to tug on his emotions; you do not. You are a temporary distraction which he hides from her--the person he really cares about. So then why wouldnt he just be with her?
Versacehottie Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Your mind is in an endless loop and you are not retaining information that has already been asked and answered. First, not everything is binary. He can have mixed feelings, mixed actions. Wants both people, both lives and it looks like he is doing just that. Second, she represents him needing to be responsible and things he associates with "not fun", needing to grow up. There is also history there for the good and the bad. Whereas with you, it's not responsible, not emotionally invested, temporary, just fun. There is very little history with you so he has little feeling or is neutral about it. He can do what he wants.
dramallama Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 I cant speak for him as a father. I know he doesnt see them often but ive never seen the children so dont know what hes like with them. We've been going out more now, ive met more of his friends and hes told his ex hes seeing someone so it must be more than just sex? I was referring to what YOU are getting out of the relationship - laughter and sex. He doesn't meet any of your other criteria for a man you want to be with. And regarding fatherhood, what's in bold, plus the fact he's taking money that should be left for her to fall back on, to keep those children safe and secure, says enough. That's not a good father.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 So its probably that he wants her but hes not ready to settle down thats why hes with me, because we can go out and have fun and do all the things she cant because of the children but he still wants to do the family stuff with her? Do you think then that thats the reason he doesnt see them very often, because they slot back into family life and he ends up hurting afterwards so throws himself more into me for a while? 1
dramallama Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 So its probably that he wants her but hes not ready to settle down thats why hes with me, because we can go out and have fun and do all the things she cant because of the children but he still wants to do the family stuff with her? Do you think then that thats the reason he doesnt see them very often, because they slot back into family life and he ends up hurting afterwards so throws himself more into me for a while? HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except for the reason he doesn't see the children often is because he's a lazy slacker.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 I was referring to what YOU are getting out of the relationship - laughter and sex. Hes affectionate outside of the bedroom too
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except for the reason he doesn't see the children often is because he's a lazy slacker. Do you think then thats also why sometimes he seems to always reply to her and other times turns his phone off so she cant contact him? Because maybe hes conflicted? 1
dramallama Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Hes affectionate outside of the bedroom too Have you considered, that if you looked, you might find someone who is affectionate, funny, *and* open, honest, career driven, communicative and sexy? But if you're wasting time worrying about whether this loser is into his ex or not, you're not finding *that* guy?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 After today i dont think he is into her. We've been together all day and he hasnt answered any of her calls or texts since they spoke this morning. Well he answered a couple of messages this afternoon but just to say his phone was broke and nothing on it was working properly and that it kept turning itself off. From what hes been saying shes been trying all day to get him to go to the hospital and saying again just how disappointed she is that hes let her down again and let the child down when they need him most. I think there was still talk of surgery. But he hasnt gone as we're out for the evening again tonight so hes been ignoring her most of the day. I dont blame him, shes been texting constantly
Minneloa Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 She’s been texting constantly because their child is in the hospital! Possibly facing surgery! Do you realize how callous you sound, even if you didn’t intend to? Can you see how your anxious and jealous hyper-focus on his actions and behaviors is skewing your perspective here? I think you need to take a deep breath and a step back, OP. Why on earth would you be pleased that this man is ignoring the mother of his children in a time of crisis? 3
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 He's not even going to see his child in hospital? What a disgrace of a father he is.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 He said he thinks shes making it up to try and get him to talk
Minneloa Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Has he even bothered to verify this hypothesis with the hospital or another family member?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 Not that i know of. But shes been asking him all day to go to the hospital. I dont know why she would keep asking if she wasnt actually there. He said now the childs going down for surgery and shes told him again not to ask anything or expect her to tell him because shes disappointed in him and lost all respect for him. He doesnt seem bothered this time though
Minneloa Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Exactly, why would she make this up and harp on it all day? So, assuming it’s true, what are you learning about this man’s character?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 I dont know why she would. I dont know her. But i cant aee what reason she would have when i think they were talking yesterday.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 28, 2019 Author Posted October 28, 2019 (edited) He never went to the hospital. Hes asleep and ive just seen a text come through from her saying that she cant believe hes let his child down like this when they needed him most. That hes not the man or father she thought he was and that hes not the man she fell in love with because that man would never abandon his child. That anything she said about wanting them to try again was well and truly gone. Atleast she doesnt want him back anymore Edited October 28, 2019 by Lucyjane86
Legatus Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 At least she doesn't want him back anymore? That's what you're getting from all of this? Seriously? 3
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 28, 2019 Author Posted October 28, 2019 I just meant shes not going to be chasing after him anymore. I get he shouldve gone to the hospital
elaine567 Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 You won't think this way, because in your mind you have "won", but this man is a complete scumbag. NO words. You have made your bed. Good luck with that... 3
Gaeta Posted October 28, 2019 Posted October 28, 2019 Atleast she doesnt want him back anymore ((complete jaw dropping!!!)) ((Mind blown away)) 1
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