basil67 Posted October 26, 2019 Posted October 26, 2019 He must have had a reason for deleting it. Because it shows how much contact they have? That its not all about the children? Good to see you coming up with your own conclusions based on the evidence you see.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 26, 2019 Author Posted October 26, 2019 You are effectively snooping on him and stalking him instead of just talking to him. And that's basically because you know he either a)won't tell you the truth or b) you won't like what you hear. He always just says its for or about the children. Thats all i get from him
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 26, 2019 Author Posted October 26, 2019 Good to see you coming up with your own conclusions based on the evidence you see. Do you think thats the reason he deleted it then?
Versacehottie Posted October 26, 2019 Posted October 26, 2019 He always just says its for or about the children. Thats all i get from him Right so he is not telling you the "truth", not the full truth. But let's be real: you are not having honest communication with him either to tell him WHY you are asking him questions. You aren't saying: because i've been snooping and this is what I've discovered. At the lengths you've gone to to spy on what he is doing and the space, time and energy you have allowed these thoughts into your brain, on this thread and whoever you are talking with about in real life, you are avoiding the most obvious thing to do. Talk honestly and openly about your concerns. IMO, you are not doing that because you've become obsessed and because you don't want the truth because deep down you already know. And you know that's where it is heading even if nothing physical has happened yet or if he hasn't broken up with you yet. That's why the line of questioning you've done toward us is all about "what does this mean", "would he do this if". BTW, I actually happen to think some IG behavior is significant. So yeah it's not just for the kids. She is claiming him publicly and for whatever reason he's hiding it from you/the people that follow him for now. (that she posted a comment on his post within 10 mins means she's on top of him too). But i agree with the others that it doesn't matter in the scheme of things because our opinions are pretty united and it's just more of the same from all three of you (you, him, her). It's not going to end well for you, whether it's with this ex or some other girl. You are already making yourself crazy and obsessed, which may have as much to do with your behavioral style in a relationship as well as the relationship you picked for the moment. You need to work on that and extract yourself from this situation.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 26, 2019 Author Posted October 26, 2019 I dont know how soon she commented, i didnt look. But he deleted it within about 10 mins of me having seem ahe had commented.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 26, 2019 Author Posted October 26, 2019 IMO, you are not doing that because you've become obsessed and because you don't want the truth because deep down you already know. And you know that's where it is heading even if nothing physical has happened yet or if he hasn't broken up with you yet. That's why the line of questioning you've done toward us is all about "what does this mean", "would he do this if". But i agree with the others that it doesn't matter in the scheme of things because our opinions are pretty united and it's just more of the same from all three of you (you, him, her). Whats where its headed? And more of the same from all three of us? What do you mean?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 26, 2019 Author Posted October 26, 2019 So we're out on a night out at the moment with friends from work aswell as some of my friends and his. He got a few texts which i assume are from her as his mates are out with us and hes turned his phone off. All seems positive. But... everytime someone goes to take a photo he finds a reason not to be in it, like he needs the toilet or hes going to get a drink or go for a smoke. I know he doesnt mind being in photos as ive seen ones of his that either his ex or his mates have posted so its abit odd
basil67 Posted October 26, 2019 Posted October 26, 2019 It's not odd behaviour for someone who doesn't want his on/off partner to see you. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 26, 2019 Author Posted October 26, 2019 It's not odd behaviour for someone who doesn't want his on/off partner to see you. She wouldnt see me. Its my mate that keeps taking photos so even if they got posted on social media she wouldnt be able to see them. And why turn his phone off while hes out so as not to talk to her if he was that worried?
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Don't be so naive about nobody seeing the photos other than your mate's friends. The rule of thumb with social media is to not put anything up there which you don't want leaked.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 Hes in a weird mood this morning now. He turned his phone on when we got up and texts from her came through about one of the children being really sick in the hospital asking him to go to them. He lied and told her his phone hadnt been working all night and he was sorry but shes told him to leave her alone as shes not in the mood to speak to him right now. So now hes behaving really strange
dramallama Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Hes in a weird mood this morning now. He turned his phone on when we got up and texts from her came through about one of the children being really sick in the hospital asking him to go to them. He lied and told her his phone hadnt been working all night and he was sorry but shes told him to leave her alone as shes not in the mood to speak to him right now. So now hes behaving really strange This weird mood is: - guilt - he wasn't there for his child - shame - his ex is cross with him Take note of how easily he lies when telling the truth (My phone was turned off, I'm sorry) would be just as easy. Lying seems to be his default. 2
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 (edited) Hes all over the place and doesnt seem to know whether hes coming or going. One minute hes angry that shes not talking or telling him anything the next hes just sitting with his head in his hands. I dont know whats wrong with the child buy i know they were in hospital on friday night too and he never went then either because i stayed at his. He said something this morning after seeing her texts about surgery. I get the guilt but why does it matter that shes angry? They havent argued. She said not to talk to her because she didnt want to argue Edited October 27, 2019 by Lucyjane86
dramallama Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 I get the guilt but why does it matter that shes angry? Do you like it when people you care about are angry at you? When you feel you've let them down?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 No but he shouldnt care. He shouldnt care about her. He should feel like hes let the child down, i get that, but he shouldnt care about letting her down
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 (edited) She cant even be that angry if shes not arguing with him about it. Just told him shes not in the mood to talk to him right now so to leave her alone. Edited October 27, 2019 by Lucyjane86
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 No but he shouldnt care. He shouldnt care about her. He should feel like hes let the child down, i get that, but he shouldnt care about letting her down Who are you to say what he should and shouldn't feel? Fact is, whether you agree or not, he DOES care about her. Everything you write underscores this. 2
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 I dont think shes even replying to him now so he has no idea whats happening with the child. Is that not abit out of order? I mean he didnt have his phone on so he never got the messages til this morning. Shouldnt she still atleast tell him whats going on?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 Who are you to say what he should and shouldn't feel? Fact is, whether you agree or not, he DOES care about her. Everything you write underscores this. I just mean that he broke up with her. He says he feels nothing for her. So then he shouldnt care
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 Yeah, well that's what happens when you turn your phone off to your nearest and dearest and they can't reach you in a time of crisis. Do you not understand consequence for behaviour? He's going to be working really, really hard to get back in their good books now.
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 I just mean that he broke up with her. He says he feels nothing for her. So then he shouldnt care After all these posts, you still believe what comes out his mouth?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 But shouldnt she atleast tell him whats happening?
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 No. Considering he had his phone off because he was shagging you, she owes him no favours. If he really wants to know, he can make the effort to go to the hospital.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 27, 2019 Author Posted October 27, 2019 She doesnt know why he had his phone off, he told her it wasnt working
basil67 Posted October 27, 2019 Posted October 27, 2019 She's not stupid. Would you believe him if he told you his phone wasn't working?
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