Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 How long does it take by bus from his place to hers? I dont know exactly where she lives but probably around 30 minutes. I havent used a bus in a long time. I know the rough area shes from and its about 20 minutes in the car
Legatus Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 of course he doesn't go around and specifically like her pics, he knows you're watching. @Lucy please read this at least 20 times. Remember that he might not be doing things naturally but with the assumed knowledge that you are watching his every move, which you do. That puts his whole behaviour into suspicion zone for me straight away... 1
dramallama Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Let's think about this a totally different way. You've known this man about 3(?) months and been seeing each other 'officially' for 1 month. In those early days, you'd expect to be seeing someone maybe a couple of times a week, when kids are involved maybe only weekly/every 10 days or so. You're starting to get to know someone, understand their values, their character, their life goals, their relationship goals, their priorities in life etc. to see how they align with yours. You're both on your best behaviour, trying to impress each other. ....................... You two have not gone about this in the 'usual' manner, you don't seem to know why you like him (you just do), the character he's shown you is full of flaws, he's giving his ex more priority than you're comfortable with, he's openly lying to her when he's with you (showing that he's comfortable with dishonesty), and I'm sure he can't yet articulate how he sees his life playing out with a new partner and co-parenting with his ex. With this in mind, is this a man you want to build a future with, or are you happy to treat him as Mr Right Now and stop stressing about everything else and making yourself anxious? 1
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 I dont know exactly where she lives but probably around 30 minutes. I havent used a bus in a long time. I know the rough area shes from and its about 20 minutes in the car I have a clearer image now. I have taken public transportation for 20 years. If it takes 20 minutes by car then it takes 1 hour maybe 1h15 by city bus. That is why they cannot visit on week nights and compensate by communicating daily. Now you know why he's with you on week nights and not her.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 I have a clearer image now. I have taken public transportation for 20 years. If it takes 20 minutes by car then it takes 1 hour maybe 1h15 by city bus. That is why they cannot visit on week nights and compensate by communicating daily. Now you know why he's with you on week nights and not her. I dont think it takes that long. And i think they would usually use taxis
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Well, why not look it up yourself online how long it would take by bus from his place to hers? You'll be clear. As for taking taxis, sorry you said he's broke, and a 20 minute ride by taxi would cost $35 to go and $35 to come back.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 But they would be going to his so she would be paying. Not him
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Lucy: Do you have any idea how much work it would take to bring 2 babies in a long bus ride? She is not going to put her babies through that on a week night. Also she is not going to spend $70 on a taxi with her babies just to spend a few hours with him on a week night and mess up her babies night routine. You've been asking several times why he spends his time with you on week nights instead of her. This is the answer. So, what's their plans for the weekend?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 So, what's their plans for the weekend? I dont think they have any
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 They used to stay at his for a few nights a week. He still has the childrens beds and toys in his bedroom
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 What are your plans together? Working and probably just go round to his for abit afterwards
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 You're happy just with that? going from work to his place, day in and day out, rarely anything else. Why don't you offer him to do something instead?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 Because i dont finish work til nearly midnight. He finishes about an hour before me and sits at the bar with a drink and talks while i finish up
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 So that's it? That's how your life together will be always? Don't you have days off? What makes this a real relationship? He also said he loved you, right? So where is all the love? why aren't you visiting his parents with him? Why isn't is FB status public so the world can see 'he loves you' ? Do you see where his word don't match his actions?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 He tells me he loves me all the time. We have days off but not always the same days. Is it not too soon to be meeting his parents? Especially when his parents think he should still be with his ex. He says his mum keeps calling him a fool for leaving her so i dont think hes told his parents hes seeing anyone
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 That's what I am trying to explain to you. He says he loves you but he doesn't act like he does. When we're in love it's an uncontrollable feeling, we want to burst it out to the world and we want to show and share that person with our family and friends. This guy told you he loved you after what - 2 weeks of sleeping together? Is this really love? He said it too quickly for it to be real. .
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 Maybe he just thinks it would be easier not to tell his parents because they seem to be taking the exes side?
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 So he's not quite a man yet if he's afraid of his parents opinion. Do you have family Lucy? Have you told your family about him?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 My family knows yes as we work with some of them ans some of them drink in the bar
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Your family knows of his situation (he's just separated from the mom of his 2 babies) and what do they think of you getting involved with him?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 My sisters do because they knew him before i did. And they havent said anything. Just that it doesnt matter how recently they split or that we got together love is love
mark clemson Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 I know. Yours and everyone elses. I just cant see how there cant be even just one part of it or just one persons opinion that isnt entirely negative Well, he apparently loves his children. So that's positive. Doesn't mean he's good BF material, though, given everything else. And what about the fact he still has photos of her on his social media with loving quotes? Should he have taken them down? Yes, it should be just him and the kids by now. And he shouldn't be signing with xx's unless it's JUST the kids. But I think you actually must already realize this, which is why you're asking about it. Just one more red flag.
Gaeta Posted October 25, 2019 Posted October 25, 2019 Just that it doesnt matter how recently they split or that we got together love is love How old are your sisters? 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 25, 2019 Author Posted October 25, 2019 How old are your sisters? They are 18 and 24
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