Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 - They spend time together with their kids - They text often - Texts include sexual references - He hides your presence (does not tell her when he is with you) - They plan intimate gatherings (movie nights at home = Netflix and chill) - She has actively stated she wants to reconcile - His family is in favor of them staying together Do all of these mean they cant be or arent friends. Even the one about his family?
Legatus Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Why are you so focused on what the two of them are, rather than on what you and he are not? 2
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 Because me and him are in a relationship that he ended his previous relationship for/because of and yet after only a few weeks of minimal contact and very few arguments. Albeit bads ones from what i can gather. They are now talking everyday laughing and joking like friends
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Lucyjane: He told you that you are in a relationship but he doesn't act like he is. People in relationship don't hide each other. If you were indeed in a relationship you'd be the one to accompany him and the kids to his parents. Your status *in relationship* would be visible to all his contact and not in private for only you. If you were in a relationship she would know your first name, he would make plans WITH YOU to take the kids out.
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 How can he have feelings of loss if they are in daily contact? You just aren't getting it. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 You just aren't getting it. No im not. So please explain. I dont understand how he could fell loss when he talks to her everyday. He hasnt really lost her?
introverted1 Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Do all of these mean they cant be or arent friends. Even the one about his family? Lucy, are you so blind to your situation that you did not even read the sentence I wrote that preceded the list you quoted? Here it is again, with the part you missed bolded: Exes can sometimes be friends, typically when enough time has passed (think years, not months) and both are in new, happy relationships. In your case, your bf (assuming he's even that) and his ex (another misnomer) are still seemingly very much together: - They spend time together with their kids - They text often - Texts include sexual references - He hides your presence (does not tell her when he is with you) - They plan intimate gatherings (movie nights at home = Netflix and chill) - She has actively stated she wants to reconcile - His family is in favor of them staying together So the issue of whether they can be friends is moot. They are still together for all intents and purposes.
stillafool Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 No im not. So please explain. I dont understand how he could fell loss when he talks to her everyday. He hasnt really lost her? Please explain this because I don't understand. Why haven't you asked him about all of this? Are you afraid he will break up with you and go to her if you ask him about it? 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 Lucy, are you so blind to your situation that you did not even read the sentence I wrote that preceded the list you quoted? Here it is again, with the part you missed bolded: So the issue of whether they can be friends is moot. They are still together for all intents and purposes. Even though theyve only seen eachother a couple of times since splitting up? And if they arent having sex? Which i dont believe they are
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 Please explain this because I don't understand. Why haven't you asked him about all of this? Are you afraid he will break up with you and go to her if you ask him about it? He just says its for or about the children
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 We know the bonfire and the movie night are not for babies, right Lucyjane? 4
introverted1 Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Even though theyve only seen eachother a couple of times since splitting up? And if they arent having sex? Which i dont believe they are Lucy, do you have family you trust? What do they say about your situation? I would be so sad if one of my daughters was in the situation you've described. For hundreds of reasons, this so-called relationship is awful. This guy you are so enamored of is not a good guy, and everything about this situation screams that you are a side piece, at best. He doesn't take care of his kids financially.He dumped his fiancee because she went on a trip.He's seeing someone new (you) but he doesn't tell her when he's with youHe spends his time with you texting herHe hasn't made it clear to either of you who he's actually with; he's enjoying playing you both.He takes money from his fiancee, which I am pretty sure she wouldn't be giving him if he wasn't telling her that he's open to reconciliation If this is what you want, then stay put. But there is no point in another 50-page thread where everyone, with no exceptions, tells you this is a train wreck waiting to happen while you feign lack of comprehension and keep asking the same questions over and over. Maybe you should take the time to re-read that thread and really absorb the answers. Good luck 2
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 He doesn't take care of his kids financially.He dumped his fiancee because she went on a trip.He's seeing someone new (you) but he doesn't tell her when he's with youHe spends his time with you texting herHe hasn't made it clear to either of you who he's actually with; he's enjoying playing you both.He takes money from his fiancee, which I am pretty sure she wouldn't be giving him if he wasn't telling her that he's open to reconciliation He doesnt always text her when hes with me. I think he does mostly when hes not with me. Alot of the time hes with me he turns his phone off or on silent so as not to be disturbed. And he has made it clear its me hes with. And hes told her that he doesnt want to get back together because hes seeing someone
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Lucyjane: You know why you're confused? I will tell you. You are confused because this man's words don't match with his actions. Usually that means we are being played. BUT, as it stands, you don't have a problem with that. You believe all the explanations he's given you. You're satisfied with just sex at night. You believe when he says all he does with his ex is for the benefits of the children soooo again there is no problems! Enjoy! . 2
TheFinalWord Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 If both people are EXTREMELY mature, yes, they can be friends. But there can't be any romantic feelings involved. Looking at your situation, I haven't read all the in's and out's, but my general policy is if you have to monitor his social media and try to interpret what this or that means, it's your intuition telling you something is off. Your intuition is trying to protect you from getting hurt. Listen to it... 2
stillafool Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 He doesnt always text her when hes with me. I think he does mostly when hes not with me. Alot of the time hes with me he turns his phone off or on silent so as not to be disturbed. And he has made it clear its me hes with. And hes told her that he doesnt want to get back together because hes seeing someone But, yesterday when he was over your house you said he was sitting right next to you texting her. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 He was the other day. But he doesnt always
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 Can they really be friends so soon? Or is it like everyone on my previous thread says, that they are far too close and hes not over her? They are not friends. They are dating. You are the other woman. Nobody is ever "just friends" immediately after a break up. When you share children you must collaborate but you hate the person. It's angry & uncomfortable. Interacting is like pulling teeth. At best after a few YEARS two people can usually manage civility. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 They arent dating. They rarely see each other. And he said he fell out if love. Theres been no real arguing. So theres no hate
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 Why doesnt she hate him atleast? Why do they talk everyday? How can they get along so well? Why does he talk to her at all when he knows shes still in love with him and wants him back? Why doesnt he just tell her when hes spending time with me instead of either not answering her calls or texts or making up excuses like being at work or sick?
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 At least!! you are asking yourself the right questions. We have answered all those already. We explained it again and again the answer is : They still have feelings for each other. 3
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 And i still dont understand how he could have feelings of loss when they are still in contact?
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 24, 2019 Author Posted October 24, 2019 Because it's not a good selling point if he wants to get into another girl's pants to tell her he still has feelings for the ex. I get that. But i saw the texts where he broke up with her and he told her the same. That he had fallen out of love with her
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2019 Posted October 24, 2019 I get that. But i saw the texts where he broke up with her and he told her the same. That he had fallen out of love with her It must be true then because your boyfriend is not the liar type, right.
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