Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 16, 2019 Author Posted October 16, 2019 Lucy: You are the other woman. But then why would he have told her about us?
preraph Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 I'd get out from the middle of that and let them decide what to do on their own.
IslandSanctuary Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 No way I'd date this guy. You need to prioritize and be attracted to the right qualities in a partner. Superficial charm, good looks, confidence etc are great, but morals, reliability and caring definitely rate higher. I think you need to look at yourself and your childhood and work out what is broken in yourself that you would continue with a man like this, it isn't normal and will not end well.
alphamale Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 I have some platonic female acquaintences but have never remained "friends" with any woman I slept with. some of them asked to remain friends but I've always declined. no reason for it
basil67 Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 What on earth could they be talking about on a daily basis? It's too much.
schlumpy Posted October 16, 2019 Posted October 16, 2019 So do you think then that even though hes told her about us that still doesnt necessarily mean that hes serious, just that hes not ready to go back to her yet? I don't know how sincere he is. You may be right. He is done with his Ex and you are his future. I can only go by the picture you've painted with your words and my own experience. I see a man that hasn't got his life sorted out before he's bringing someone else in. He's had two kids with this woman. That's a powerful history to overcome. She's always going to be around. You will always be second in his life with his children being first. I'm not saying you dump him, I'm saying you slow down the relationship until you see how things settle out. My only concern is that you protect yourself and not get trapped in a situation that will not promote your best interest.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 (edited) What on earth could they be talking about on a daily basis? It's too much. Its pretty much just small talk from what i can tell. Asking how each other is, what their plans for the day are, how his shifts going, things like that i think. They dont actually talk, just text. It was just her inititiating contact before but i think he does now too. And im sure i saw hes been putting xx on the end of them now too. I think though he may just be trying to keep her sweet as he said something about asking her for some money. Hes always turned to her for money i think because he never has any. Edited October 17, 2019 by Lucyjane86
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 I agreed to give things another go because he told her about us This is never going to work out well for you. He is still in love with her and will always have her spending nights at his and going on holidays as a family. Can you honestly handle that?
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 So do you think then that even though hes told her about us that still doesnt necessarily mean that hes serious, just that hes not ready to go back to her yet? It changes nothing. They are still going to be spending alot of time together.
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 But then why would he have told her about us? He didn't tell her WHO he was seeing and he never will. All she knows is that he is seeing someone. He's still keeping you a secret. Why can't you see that this guy is using you? He will always be playing happy families with her. You will never be his priority.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 He didn't tell her WHO he was seeing and he never will. All she knows is that he is seeing someone. He's still keeping you a secret. Why can't you see that this guy is using you? He will always be playing happy families with her. You will never be his priority. Why would he tell her who, me and her dont know eachother so what difference would him telling her my name make?
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 Why would he tell her who, me and her dont know eachother so what difference would him telling her my name make? Allot of difference. He doesn't want her to know who is seeing. He hasn't even told her it's someone he works with. You need wake up to what you are getting yourself involved in.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 Allot of difference. He doesn't want her to know who is seeing. He hasn't even told her it's someone he works with. You need wake up to what you are getting yourself involved in. I just dont see how her knowing who would make a difference when she doesnt know me anyway?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 OP, our advice and opinions serve no purpose to you. You’re clearly not going anywhere, and will hang on to him no matter what. We’re all just repeating ourselves and fueling your need for attention. This will only end when he dumps you. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 OP, our advice and opinions serve no purpose to you. You’re clearly not going anywhere, and will hang on to him no matter what. We’re all just repeating ourselves and fueling your need for attention. This will only end when he dumps you. They do. I just thought him telling her about us meant he was showing he was serious
elaine567 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 She knows hes seeing someone as he told her a few days ago... They argued after he told her but i dont think it was actually about the fact he was currently seeing someone. She was accusing him of being a liar and a cheat. And then all of a sudden, they just stopped arguing apologised and started talking as friends. This was all in the same day. No breaks in at all. Is it just me or is it a bit odd that they can be such good friends so soon? My guess. They had sex. It is called hysterical bonding and is common in cheating. They have great and very frequent sex to try to re-cement the bond...
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 They do. I just thought him telling her about us meant he was showing he was serious Not serious in the slightest. It changes nothing. The sooner you realize this the better.
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 My guess. They had sex. It is called hysterical bonding and is common in cheating. They have great and very frequent sex to try to re-cement the bond... No it was all through text. He was at work at the time
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 No it was all through text. He was at work at the time The fact that you said she called him a liar and a cheat shows that they are in some way still together. He wont tell her the name of the person he is seeing because you are not important enough to him. You are still a distraction for him. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 The fact that you said she called him a liar and a cheat shows that they are in some way still together. He wont tell her the name of the person he is seeing because you are not important enough to him. You are still a distraction for him. She called him that because she was accusing him of being with me before they broke up
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 She called him that because she was accusing him of being with me before they broke up He cheats. He will cheat on you eventually, as well as playing happy families spending nights and going on holidays with her. You have gotten involved in a very toxic set up but you are blinded by your feelings for him. You wont see it until he hurts you. And he will. He already is. 1
Author Lucyjane86 Posted October 17, 2019 Author Posted October 17, 2019 He cheats. He will cheat on you eventually, as well as playing happy families spending nights and going on holidays with her. You have gotten involved in a very toxic set up but you are blinded by your feelings for him. You wont see it until he hurts you. And he will. He already is. So you still think he'll end up going back to her?
elaine567 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 Theyre saying now that him and his ex have been through loads together before they even got together, him getting with other girls, him having problems with alcohol and money, his anger issues and his depression and anxiety, the pregnancy, which apparently he told her to abort or she'd never see or hear from him again, and even through everything, no matter whats happened between them, he always finds his way back to her Cheating Alcoholism Money problems Anger Issues Depression. Anxiety. He is a bit of a catch... 2
Maddie82 Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 So you still think he'll end up going back to her? Yep, there will always be something between them. Just wish you could see it.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 17, 2019 Posted October 17, 2019 So you still think he'll end up going back to her? This has been answered several times in this thread already. 1
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