michaeljames Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Hi I met Jane 4 years ago. I helped her in legal issues. She went through a divorce. Initially, we went out of our way to see each other for the first 6 months. We are friends. Never kissed, but always have strong flirting with each other. I text her how are you. I get nothing in response from her. She texts me every 3-4 months periodically. “Hi, how are?” This is happening now for 3 years. After she ghosts me the first time, I had no interest in her I do genuinely care for her as a fried though. I don’t project my insecurities on her when she doesn’t reply to my hi how are you text. I just move on. Sometimes to the point of blocking her number. I have unfriended her on Facebook.i just get tired of her texting her when she misses me. It’s always the 12 am text. Texts that I known to be booty texts. She texted me again last night. We chat 2-3 rounds, then she doesn’t answer my last question and ghost me. I already know how this next round of questions will go. Her: how are you? Me; things are going great. How is the lawsuit? Her: good. We should meet some time again. Me: okay. When do you want to meet? Her: <nothing in response> She is not dating material. The couple times we did go on friend date she was texting. Honestly, I see no future for us together. She does have health issues and too much family drama for me. Thoughts? Thank you in advance for any advice. This does bother me enough for me to reach out here.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Stop replying to her. Block her if you think it will keep giving you false hope when you hear from her.
preraph Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Sounds like she gets drunk and lonely sometimes at night but doesn't know what she wants. Maybe just wants to know some guy wants her or something. But no intentions of moving forward. She might be depressed or something. Since she just stops right in the middle, you are free to just not respond if you don't want an acquaintance texting you.
FMW Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Stop responding to her and she won't be able to ghost you anymore. It's not cool that she does that to you. You may have been friendly at some point, but she is not your friend. Don't let her yank your chain anymore.
smackie9 Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Reading over you post, do you think you were ever really friends? This has been all one sided... OK I think we are all in agreeance that you need to cut her out of your life now, so you can breath and move forward onto happy things.
rightondude Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 If you want to do her, just straight up respond to those texts with "hey do you wanna F---?" and see what the response is. You got nothing to lose brother.
mark clemson Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 She's playing games with you. Possibly as per Rightondude, she is angling for "scratch the itch" sex (but presumably nothing more) and wondering if you'll bite. Possibly she's just texting because she's lonely or bored and knows you're likely to respond (giving her a "validation" boost). Whatever else happens, suggest you don't become emotionally attached to this woman. Too on/off.
kendahke Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 (edited) Thoughts? Her: how are you? Me: 1. looks at text message 2. remembers to go block her number right then and there (something I should have done a while back) because I'm not here for stupid games 3. don't respond 4. move on with life Edited October 5, 2019 by kendahke 1
fromheart Posted October 6, 2019 Posted October 6, 2019 Your saying she's your friend but your reactions suggest more than friendship. I'd have a look into your feelings. If she is really just a friend then I'm guessing you are not pursuing women romantically or sexually, and are putting too much into this friendship. If you do feel more than just friends for her, you should tell her.
TheFinalWord Posted October 6, 2019 Posted October 6, 2019 Friend, When you continue to let her play these games with you, she knows she can jerk you around and you put up with it. She has no respect for you. All you get in return is a damaged self-esteem. This has been going on for years. It isn't going to change and you should have a zero tolerance policy. When it comes to dating, people I barely know get one chance to treat me right. If they treat me with disrespect, I am gone. Because if they are acting that way at the beginning, I already know from experience, it will just lead to a break up later. So why even waste time. Block her number. 2
Recommended Posts