BF and I got into an argument about coffee

[lavenderandvelvet]

I have a very sensitive stomach and regular coffee is too acid, a good quality dark roast coffee makes a huge difference.

 

Same here. Crappy coffee makes me feel queasy. Better coffee isn’t an issue at all. It is rare I want a second cup. On that day no crappy substitute is going to cut it.

[LivingWaterPlease]

You say the issue isn’t about coffee but then your point you make is ALL about coffee......

 

Too high maintenance in my book!

If she wants her frappe at her bfs place then she needs to figure out a way, not him![/quote

 

Go back and read again.

 

From reading your post, I doubt if I answer your questions more explicitly it will be any more clear to you.

 

Let's agree to disagree!

[Maggiemay1]

So Maggie, if he’d denied her two minutes to buy some shampoo from the drugstore because she’d run out, what would your response be?

 

To use his shampoo, but I don’t know if his shampoo would be good enough for her.

 

If people think it’s bad that he didn’t feel they had time to make another stop then so be it.

But what I think is worse behaviour is that she then discussed it with his roommate and wouldn’t let it go.

 

People need to choose their battles in relationships and if she can’t let something like this slide well then there is no hope for them as a couple when they face a real issue.

[basil67]

I completely agree about choosing battles, but denying 2 mins at the shops is something that neither me or my partner would do to each other to start with. I guessing that it wouldn't be an odd thing to happen in your relationship, hence your acceptance. It's all about what we are used to.

[Maggiemay1]

I completely agree about choosing battles, but denying 2 mins at the shops is something that neither me or my partner would do to each other to start with. I guessing that it wouldn't be an odd thing to happen in your relationship, hence your acceptance. It's all about what we are used to.

 

All we know is that he felt they had spent too much time at the shops. We don’t know why but maybe just maybe she turned what he perceived to be a 30 min shop into an hour? So yes two minutes more was frustrating to him?

Perhaps he had already exercised patience?

 

It’s the mere fact that she discussed it with his roommate trying to get someone to side with her that makes me disbelieve her side of the story?

Would your partner do that??

And then continue the argument to a point where you would discuss it on a forum?

[TheFinalWord]

I wouldn't say he's controlling, as much as you two don't have good compatibility or communication skills. If you two fight all the time, you don't have good compatibility. But that's why you date, to assess these things.

 

It sounds like he thinks you make mountains out of mole hills. Do you see his point at all? Because it doesn't sound like it.

 

When you asked him to be less pushy, does he try to see your point at all? He said he didn't understand, so it doesn't sound like it.

 

The key is, not do you you bicker, but can you communicate in such a way that he sees your point, respects it, and you see his point, and respect it. You'll know you respect one another's perspective if you actively try not to do those things that you know annoy each other.

[Twizzlestick]

^ this. That literally is the answer OP. Well put.