Author Trail Blazer Posted October 4, 2019 Author Posted October 4, 2019 How long should she have waited before replying? I'm not sure that's the issue? 1
Twizzlestick Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 (edited) I hope you don’t have any bunny rabbits Edited October 4, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator quote removed 1
Cersei Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 You mentioned your gut. Always, always go with your gut feelings! Run! 1
Rayce Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 I'm not sure that's the issue? It just seems you are expecting her to wait to respond and to "immediately" response indicates that she is too intense for you. Is it really that unlikely that her phone really is just sitting next to her? My phone is sitting right next to me... so if a guy I like texts me should I wait to answer it or text right back? 1
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 4, 2019 Author Posted October 4, 2019 It just seems you are expecting her to wait to respond and to "immediately" response indicates that she is too intense for you. Is it really that unlikely that her phone really is just sitting next to her? My phone is sitting right next to me... so if a guy I like texts me should I wait to answer it or text right back? It's more the volume and the content than the rapidity. But if you put it all together, which is what I did, it kind of sets the tone for someone who's a little too eager. Sorry, but being too eager sounds alarm bells. 1
Rayce Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 It's more the volume and the content than the rapidity. But if you put it all together, which is what I did, it kind of sets the tone for someone who's a little too eager. Sorry, but being too eager sounds alarm bells. Well that's too bad... you could be missing out on a great person. Seems like a version of game playing... right... being measuring by quantity and not quality.... I wish you luck... 1
The Outlaw Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 Just tell her something like this, 'You know, it's embarrassing, but for the life of me, I've forgotten your name-' Or better yet, if by chance it's an exotic one, ask her to pronounce it for you. Either way, I think you'll probably come out OK.
Tagalz Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 But... I cannot remember her name. How does one broach this with her? Sure, I could just be honest, what's the worst that could happen, right! I guess... but it's not ideal! Haha. Especially as she kept addressing me by my first name, and I'm like, "Ah, yeah" while thinking "what IS her name again!" You could say that you have been trying to remember your friends name and got so much time to practise it that you forgot what her name is.. or you could take her out to starbucks and look for her name at the cup. If it’s spelled wrong then you need to listen when the barista’s ask what her name is
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 4, 2019 Author Posted October 4, 2019 Well that's too bad... you could be missing out on a great person. Seems like a version of game playing... right... being measuring by quantity and not quality.... I wish you luck... What it simply boils down to is that if something doesn't feel right in my gut then I'm not going to ignore it. I go on plenty of dates and most of the women are great people. They're just not people who I see a future with for one reason or another. 1
amaysngrace Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 Call her a name that looks like it would be her name. She’ll correct you.
Rayce Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 Well then why do you care what her name is? Are you going to be polite when you tell her your not intrested?
Gretchen12 Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 You like a woman who's not eager. It's not uncommon. You will find women who're not eager / not very interested, and you'd like that and you'd look for your happiness there. Not singling you out for criticism. I get it. In fact, this is the source of much dating drama. Without it, LS dating forum would see so much less activity.
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 4, 2019 Author Posted October 4, 2019 Well then why do you care what her name is? Are you going to be polite when you tell her your not intrested? I cared at the time of creating the thread. I've been updating things since then and things have changed. If I don't like something about someone, I'm unapologetic in my reasons for not wanting to pursue things further. Why are you seemingly so defensive? 1
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 4, 2019 Author Posted October 4, 2019 You like a woman who's not eager. It's not uncommon. You will find women who're not eager / not very interested, and you'd like that and you'd look for your happiness there. Not singling you out for criticism. I get it. In fact, this is the source of much dating drama. Without it, LS dating forum would see so much less activity. There has to be a balance. I'm not going to pursue women who aren't interested at all. But at the same time, if after a first date she's trying to move things waaaaay too fast, then it's a red flag for me.
Rayce Posted October 4, 2019 Posted October 4, 2019 sorry if I seem defensive.... I'm just wondering what your reasoning is.... I am trying to navigate the dating world myself and now I am wondering if I am appearing to come across as "too eager" because I might answer my text right away... so I am just trying to figure out if I need to wait... and if I wait how long???? It's very confusing...
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 What I like isn't necessarily what the next guy likes. I'm not saying you need to wait an arbitrary amount of time to respond. I often reply quickly to messages as well. That's not really the issue. If you go back to what I said, I was trying to say that it's a combination of a lot of things. Seven messages to my one, all in rapid-fire response. Wanting to organize the next date (with kids involved) within a few hours (!) of the first date. It's all a bit too much for me.
Rayce Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 I send rapid messages like that but that's how my mind works... right so that's what I was picking up on. 1
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 Rayce, my advice to you would just be you. Some guys will probably like being instantly replied to. It's not all bad. Just temper things in the beginning and take it a little slower. Showing you're keen to move forward with someone is great, if that's what they're wanting as well. However, overdoing it by being too keen can come across as needy and a little desperate. 1
Rayce Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Rayce, my advice to you would just be you. Some guys will probably like being instantly replied to. It's not all bad. Just temper things in the beginning and take it a little slower. Showing you're keen to move forward with someone is great, if that's what they're wanting as well. However, overdoing it by being too keen can come across as needy and a little desperate. Thank you... but I am not needy or desperate... I just don't understand this assumption that just because someone rapid fires response to you...that they are needy or desperate.
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 Thank you... but I am not needy or desperate... I just don't understand this assumption that just because someone rapid fires response to you...that they are needy or desperate. Where there's smoke there's fire. In my experience it's a precursor to being needy or desperate. Nothing is absolute and I'm not saying things are either black or white. However, when you add everything all up, you get an overall vibe. This lady seems a bit too much for me right now. 1
Rayce Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 ok I get that... and thank you again for trying to explain to me this aspect of dating. Maybe in the future I will refrain from firing rapid responds until after the guy knows me enough to know that is just how my mind works and has nothing to do with being needy or desperate.
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 If I may..... @Rayce and @Trail_Blazer.....neither of you are wrong . You both have your preferences and probably just wouldn't make a good match for each other, that's all. @Rayce, you do you. <3 3
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 I told her that I do have Facebook but that I don't make a habit of adding people after one date. She just replied "OK". I am not going to ask her for a second date. I don't think it will work out. I am going on a date with another girl Tuesday now. 1
Veronica73 Posted October 5, 2019 Posted October 5, 2019 Lol! It’s nice to see a guy being successful with OLD. You should start a thread to help all the other people on here who think it’s the worst and aren’t successful with it!! 1
Author Trail Blazer Posted October 5, 2019 Author Posted October 5, 2019 I don't think you can give men an instruction manual on how to be successful on OLD. Sure, there's many factors that contribute to success - some are in the control of an individual, some simply aren't. For all the dates I've been on, I've had plenty cancel on me last minute, then unmatch me. Beyond taking the best photos you can, there's not really a lot more I could suggest without sounding like a condescending douche. Apparently having a decent bio helps... I've never bothered on any dating app I use, so I can't really say either way. 1
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