ex wants to start fresh

[jess060191]

Hi everyone,

 

It's been awhile since I have posted on here. I have posted about my ex on here multiple of times. But long story short, my ex and I were on and off for a year. He left me 3 months ago. He basically used me for money, time, affection, and sex. But in his eyes he thinks he did nothing wrong.

 

Anyways... he reached out to me today and basically told me he still misses me and he didn’t want to leave me but needs to be alone at the moment and cannot be in a relationship with me right now. Then asks me if we can start fresh? Like why? What do you think he is trying to accomplish?

[preraph]

He just doesn't want any obligation. He just wants to use you some more without any relationship or expectations.

 

Please say no.

[basil67]

Yep, he wants to use you some more. It's time to block him from being able to contact you.

[lonelyplanetmoon]

Jess, I had to laugh when I saw you post. My ex also reached out yesterday.

 

Pretty sure we both had BU’s at the same time.

 

Anyway, I do have concern that he is going to play with your emotions and you will be heartbroken all over again.

 

Focus on what you want. Don’t even think about what he wants as you will never truly know. And do what feels right to take care of you.

 

I post my thread in the coping section. I am not responding to my ex at all because I don’t want to reconcile.

 

But if I did, I would not put up with any breadcrumbs. I would want the double decker sandwich, meaning I would expect extreme effort on his part in getting me back before I would even consider opening my heart a little crack.

[Nosoul]

Hi everyone,

 

It's been awhile since I have posted on here. I have posted about my ex on here multiple of times. But long story short, my ex and I were on and off for a year. He left me 3 months ago. He basically used me for money, time, affection, and sex. But in his eyes he thinks he did nothing wrong.

 

Anyways... he reached out to me today and basically told me he still misses me and he didn’t want to leave me but needs to be alone at the moment and cannot be in a relationship with me right now. Then asks me if we can start fresh? Like why? What do you think he is trying to accomplish?

 

so basically hes either in a fight with someone hes seeing, and he doesnt know if its going to work, so he wants to start fresh when his other relationship is officially over. that would be the only reason he could not be in a relationship, either that or he has an STD, this is where you get your power back, do you really want him back? id give him an ultimatum, if he doesnt want it then leave .

[Flame Aura]

An ex is an ex for a reason. Say no thank you and do not contact him again.

[ExpatInItaly]

He just wants to see if you’re still open to being used. Maybe he’s having a dry spell and figures you’re an easy back-up option for him.

 

Forget this guy. You’ll only be signing up for more heartache if you continue to see him.

[schlumpy]

But if I did, I would not put up with any breadcrumbs. I would want the double decker sandwich, meaning I would expect extreme effort on his part in getting me back before I would even consider opening my heart a little crack.

 

Great advice. Please listen to lonelyplanetmoon.

[usa1ah]

Block him on everything.

 

Do not fall for his lies.

[rjc149]

Hi everyone,

What do you think he is trying to accomplish?

 

Sounds like he wants

 

money, time, affection, and sex.

[django]

Have you told him you feel like you were used? Has he owned up to anything? I'm inclined to advise you to block and walk away, but if you're asking for advice, youre likely willing to reconcile. Tell him needs to work for it and see what he does.

[BC1980]

I mean, he probably just wants to use you for sex. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's really concerning that you can't see that.

[Redhead14]

He means he wants YOU to start fresh. He will continue to be the same user/poser/sh*t he was before and you're supposed forget that you got wise and let him start doing that again.

[rjc149]

Anyways... he reached out to me today and basically told me he still misses me and he didn’t want to leave me but needs to be alone at the moment and cannot be in a relationship with me right now. Then asks me if we can start fresh? Like why? What do you think he is trying to accomplish?

 

Okay so I re-read this, bearing in mind the present tenses.

 

It looks like he DOESN'T want something right now, but by 'starting fresh' maybe he means wiping the slate clean? Maybe going slow, or maybe he's just trying to alleviate his guilt with your forgiveness?

[mark clemson]

IMO, you were right the first time rjc149. The "can't be in a R right now" is some sort of smoke screen for his intentions. You're not going to change a narcissist/sociopath/whatever this guy is into a person who has normal relationships.